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Last Minute Engagement Party

Love51913Love51913 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We just got engaged this past Sunday in Vegas.  Before we left we planned a Memorial Day Barbecue for this Sunday, at least I thought it was only that but my fiance planned on it to be an engagement party.  I want it to be casual but I also want it to be nice and memorable.  I feel very overwhelmed because I only have 2 days.  Does anyone have suggestions for me, and is it tacky to still do the barbecue food?  Any cute ideas?
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Re: Last Minute Engagement Party

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    You should not be throwing your own engagement party.  Just stick with your BBQ plans and don't say anything about it being an engagement party.  Throwing a party in your own honor is considered rude.  If someone in your family or your friends want to throw you an engagement party that is fine but if not then you just don't get one.


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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2013
    I agree with Maggie. Tell your fiancé it's inappropriate and just let it be a Memorial Day BBQ.

    ETA: I assume all the important people in your life already know about your engagement or will by Sunday? If not, start calling now so you don't have to announce it at the BBQ, because then it will look like an e-party.
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  • brielleinlovebrielleinlove member
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    Yes, please tell your FI that it is not appropriate to call this barbecue an engagement party.  You cannot host your own engagement party - if someone else offers to host one for you, that's perfectly fine, and in that case the host can serve whatever he or she wishes.
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    No need for you to call it an engagement party or do anything special.  If everyone in attendance knows that you just got engaged I'm sure they will be talking about it, asking about the proposal, the wedding, and your ring.  That's pretty much all that happens at an e-party anyway. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Friends or family members.  Not the couple themselves.
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  • FizzySipsFizzySips member
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    Jen4948 said:
    Friends or family members.  Not the couple themselves.

    Ditto. Parties are thrown by someone else in your honor.
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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    The engaged couple can help "coordinate" IMO.  I don't think it was rude that I was the go between for my mother and FIs mom, who threw the party.  They were just super busy and I helped them communicate about dates to VIPs and details to eachother. 
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    Daizy914 said:

    So who throws the engagement party? I don't believe in engagement parties, for a lot of reasons. But that's just me. BUt I am curious-because I have been to a few engagement parties where the engaged couple are the ones who coordinated the party? So now I'm confused?

    We threw our own. Everyone had a great time. It doesnt go over very well on this board nor am I saying people should do it, but we did it and it worked out perfect. This isnt anything thats set in stone. Ive been to as many couple hosted parties as I have non couple hosted ones.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2013
    I would just throw a Memorial Day BBQ. People will undoubtedly ask about the engagement, upcoming wedding, etc., and you can certainly answer their questions and talk about the engagement, but I would not broadcast it as or call it an e-party. The end result is the same anyway: you are throwing a get-together with all your friends. Throwing a BBQ is fine etiquette-wise, but throwing your own engagement party, which sometimes signals to bring gifts, is not OK etiquette-wise. Just call it a BBQ and then you're OK.


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  • banana468banana468 member
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    OwningAHome1981 said:

    show previous quotes
    We threw our own. Everyone had a great time. It doesnt go over very well on this board nor am I saying people should do it, but we did it and it worked out perfect. This isnt anything thats set in stone. Ive been to as many couple hosted parties as I have non couple hosted ones.

    Just because you were fine seeing an etiquette rule broken hardly means the rule never existed.

    OP, just leave the party as the BBQ.
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