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Question about Monitary gifts...

DanielleJoe09DanielleJoe09
10 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
Hey gals...quick question...

We are sending little cards in all the invitations that say we are registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, but I was wondering if it would be tacky to also write in that we are accepting monitary gifts. I know that some people like giving gifts and some dont....the same with money...I'm not sure whats acceptable and whats not....

I dont want too sound tacky or snobby by writing that....Are any of you putting that on your regisrty cards?

What are your ideas about this??

Thanks gals :)
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Re: Question about Monitary gifts...

  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think its ever ok to ask for money. If they're going to get you a gift, be grateful and accept it. It's a little rude to be asking for money, IMO.
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  • ejayejay member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's pretty standard that iIF someone wants to give you a wedding gift, if they don't want to purchase an actual item, that they would give you money.  I don't think its necessary to indicate it, it's one of those 'duh!' things... and I think it sounds tacky.

    It's also debatable if you want to put your registry cards in your invite... we did not.  

      
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  • klreese0213klreese0213 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    are you putting the BBB tags in the wedding invite? Is that standard? i have never seen that- but i could be wrong. It seems like usually the registry tags go out with the shower invites and if people still want to buy off the registry that's an option, but ive never seen them sent out in the invite.
    I don't think you should ask for money. people know if they dont want to give a gift, then they'll do a card and money.
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  • thecatsfancythecatsfancy
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The registry cards should not go out with the invitation.  They go out with the bridal shower invitation only.
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  • aprillm730aprillm730
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    People know that someone will never say to a cash gift. It's not needed to say that they're accepted, because shoot.. who won't accept cash??

    Ditto PP about no talk of gifts in the actual invite. If they were invited to your shower then they know where you're registered and you don't need to tell them again.
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  • emarston1emarston1 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It's a big no no to put any mention of the word gift anywhere with the wedding invitation (even if you say no gifts please).

    Instead, you can include these in the bridal shower invites.  If you really want cash, word of mouth is the best way.  Example:

    What do John and Jane want for their wedding?
    "Well they are saving for (insert home, new furninture, etc.)"
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  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh yeah, I missed the part where you said you wanted to put your registry cards in the invite. That's not ok either. Honestly, you should not even think about gifts. You're getting married. Be thankful that these guests are coming to share your special day with you. That should mean more than any gift or money could express.
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  • DanielleJoe09DanielleJoe09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wasnt sure about any of it....thats what I was asking everyone's opinion.

    Thanks ladies
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  • hippie4yahwehhippie4yahweh
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    First off, the PPs are totally correct- NO registry info in your invites, and NEVER ask for cash.

    Second, if you're considering specifying monetary gifts regardless of our good advice, it might be a good idea to spell monetary correctly. Especially when there's a spell check box right here below the comment box.....
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  • queenfm85queenfm85 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh my gosh! I don't know if its just me but it seems some of you are being a little harsh. I know that somethings are no-brainers for some people but honestly some people don't know! I know that I don't know a lot of the "rules" for weddings and getting married.

    I can see why ASKING for anything is bad for sure! I'm kind of in the same spot as you fellow Danielle ;) For me personally.. if ANYONE is getting me gifts (which im NOT expecting btw) I wouldn't really want anything specifically. I already own a house and the essential things I would need. The rest of it is just stuff for the gift-giver to get excited about IMO. We REALLY wanted to get our countertops done so in my fantasy world i'd love to just get help towards that!

    I have heard that if the message you want to get out is that if you'd prefer a certain thing for gifts IF people were inquiring... the best thing to do is just get the word out what your plans are in general. I told my FMIL that our plan is to re-do our kitchen. So... if people decide to give us gifts to help with that, AWESOME. If not, no biggie :) But that way we're not ASKING anyone for anything.

    Hope that helps?
    Danielle & Tyler

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  • ejayejay member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:6914c64b-1f98-44c9-9f20-64893f07577e">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh my gosh! I don't know if its just me but it seems some of you are being a bit rude. I know that somethings are no-brainers for some people but honestly some people don't know! I know that I don't know a lot of the "rules" for weddings and getting married. 
    Posted by queenfm85[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>THIS exactly... I can't stand the sometimes snarky answers that people sometimes give when a person is genuinely asking for advice.  Believe it or not, a lot of people don't eat, sleep, and breathe wedding details and etiquette before planning their own wedding. 
    </div>
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  • mordaciousmordacious
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:6914c64b-1f98-44c9-9f20-64893f07577e">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh my gosh! I don't know if its just me but it seems some of you are being a bit rude.Posted by queenfm85[/QUOTE]

    Uhh, no, it's not just you. It's not like many of us have done this before so it's a totally valid question. Most of us that have been here for a while already know the answer but there are people who don't. I think it's better that she ask first before going ahead and doing it.

    Ohh and Hippie, the spell check doesn't work in the subject line <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> It does work in the comment box though.
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    I think we need to relax.  The OP asked a valid question and I think everyone gave very good and friendly advice.  The OP came back and thanked us and said she wasn't sure.  But then we continued to attack her?  She graciously accepted our advice, let's move on and stop scaring the newbies.

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  • queenfm85queenfm85 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    LOL AGREED!!! :)

    U ladies are still the best on this board!
    Danielle & Tyler

    10-10-10

    "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you"

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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh geez, I don't think anyone was overly harsh. Considering the OP didn't seem to get offended I think people are being a wee-bit sensitive. Its not as though someone called her a money-grubbing brat or similar.

    FWIW I've never planned a wedding before but I knew that you don't include notes about gifts/money/etc in a wedding invite without asking theknot boards.

    And I think hippie's point was valid that should the OP include such a note she should ensure the word is spelled correctly because it didn't appear she realized she was misspelling it.
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  • DanielleJoe09DanielleJoe09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes some of you people are rude.....Geez.....and I thought the girls on here were nice....

    Obviously I dont know, so I thought I'd come and ask.....
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  • DanielleJoe09DanielleJoe09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Oh and I forgot....Who cares about a spelling mistake....

    And yes I've seen someone put a registry card in their invitation, thats why I was so curious...

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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:25286248-3e71-4e68-ba73-ed5cb2df564b">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]And yes I've seen someone put a registry card in their invitation, thats why I was so curious...
    Posted by DanielleJoe09[/QUOTE]

    <div><font face="Arial" size="2">I've seen it too, and it makes me cringe every time.</font></div><div><span class="605322619-18052010"><font face="Arial" size="2">
    The reasoning behind not including it in the wedding invites is because weddings are generally not viewed as a gift giving occasion.  Sure, most people give gifts, but it is not expected so it is considered bad etiquette to include registry info...basically implying that you're expecting gits.  You are inviting these people to your wedding to witness your marriage, and you are thanking them for sharing the special day by hosting them at the reception.</font></span></div><div></div><div><span class="605322619-18052010"><font face="Arial" size="2">
    On the other hand, the main purpose of showers is to give gifts so that's why you can include registry info in those invites.</font></span></div><div></div><div><span class="605322619-18052010"><font face="Arial" size="2">
    If people want to get you something for the wedding, they will find out where you are registered (they either already know from the shower or they will ask around).  Otherwise, they will give money.</font></span></div>
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  • shrades77shrades77 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:1d0fe9c0-f0ef-40fd-9f2f-f54da8294bd4">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]The registry cards should not go out with the invitation.  They go out with the bridal shower invitation only.
    Posted by thecatsfancy[/QUOTE]

    THIS.

    Please do NOT put registry cards in with your wedding invitations.  I have seen it done too, but I think it is extremely tacky...  if we can help one person change their mind about putting it in their invite, than we've done our job.  ;)

    hope that helps!
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:25286248-3e71-4e68-ba73-ed5cb2df564b">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh and I forgot....Who cares about a spelling mistake.... And yes I've seen someone put a registry card in their invitation, thats why I was so curious...
    Posted by DanielleJoe09[/QUOTE]

    Her point about the spelling mistake wasn't so much about it in the post as on your wedding invite. I imagine most people wouldn't want their wedding invite to have a misspelled word but hey, I could be wrong perhaps you genuinely don't care if your invite has misspellings.

    Trust me dear, NO ONE was mean. Try posting this question on one of the national boards. Everyone answered your question in a straightforward and honest manner.

    Please explain to me, how is it 'mean' to say you shouldn't do something because its considered poor etiquette?
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  • hippie4yahwehhippie4yahweh
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:c6f60c36-6439-4b60-9c76-ded07e3ff7a2">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh geez, I don't think anyone was overly harsh. Considering the OP didn't seem to get offended I think people are being a wee-bit sensitive.
    Posted by Booger+Bear[/QUOTE]

    Erin, I think I'm in love with you. And sorry that now that I've realized it, you're already married and running away together doesn't seem to be an option.... ::crying inside::
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  • hippie4yahwehhippie4yahweh
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:54402aff-443a-4b0d-a720-0d24ffa17816">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE] Ohh and Hippie, the spell check doesn't work in the subject line  It does work in the comment box though.
    Posted by mordacious[/QUOTE]

    Ohhh yeah I was probably talking about the actual POST, where it's written a second time, huh?  ::sarcastic wink:: right back at you.
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  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow! This was blown way out of proportion. She got her answer. We're not rude. We're a great group of ladies :)

    Ditto Booger + Bear. There are some things that are just common sense. I've never planned a wedding before, but I'm pretty sure it goes without saying that you do not ask people for money especially in the invite.

    At any rate, I am glad you got your answer.
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sorry Steph - you're just a few days late lol!

    But I stand corrected - after thanking people for their comments, she changed to calling us mean when other people thought comments were mean.
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  • mordaciousmordacious
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_question-monitary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:16d27ef4-ac69-49e1-9413-1e9160c53d23Post:819c028f-2871-4422-b355-9f9e2e0e2fd4">Re: Question about Monitary gifts...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question about Monitary gifts... : Ohhh yeah I was probably talking about the actual POST, where it's written a second time, huh?  ::sarcastic wink:: right back at you.
    Posted by hippie4yahweh[/QUOTE]

    Excuse me for trying to give you heads up for the next time you want to be a complete bitch to someone for a spelling mistake. That wasn't a sarcastic wink, defensive much?
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