Gift Registry

nicknuttnc · July 2011

I do not want a traditional gift registry since we already have our home. I want a honeymoon registry instead. I would love to give my guest the options of giving us different excursions. I do not have any idea on starting this idea. I would like to put this in my invitation but do not know how to execute the idea. Do I start a bank account for the registry or do I have for cash and checks. I am booking on-line to Cancun/Riveria Maya. The resort have a lot of add-on. Do anyone have any ideas?????

llucas45 · July 2011

www.honeyfund.com

K&J64 · July 2011

Putting your registry information on your wedding invitation is generally frowned upon. Most people opt to include it on their wedding website and let people know by word of mouth. In some areas it's acceptable to send registry inserts with shower invitations, but even then it's not printed on the actual invitation. Honeymoon registries are often ill received too, I think it's a know your audience issue personally. Be sure your friends/family wouldn't view this as distasteful before pursuing it.

daisywithak · July 2011

Kcullen is correct. It is considered rude to ask for money/putting money towards honeymoon as well as including info in your invites (word of mouth or wedding website is the best way to do this). While I would never suggest breaking etiquette, you are an adult and I'm sure you know your family/friends best. You should probably also have a small traditional registry for anyone that doesn't feel comfortable contributing towards your honeymoon. Good Luck!

nicknuttnc · July 2011

I love both suggestion. I am making a pocketfold invite to include all the information about our wedding. I am including a accomodation, gift registry, map and direction card, and a reception/rsvp card. I have most of my guest coming from out of state or country and want to make it easy for them. I will put in a little thing about my website on the bottom of card. Thank you for all your help......

bpark2011 · July 2011

We are in the same boat; we have most of our househould amenities seeing as we've been living together/living on our own for quite some time now. We are moving shortly after the wedding, so we are asking for monetary assistance in lieu of traditional gifts. We are registered at DepositaGift.com, which is a totally awesome site. You can add anything you want, and if you add traditional "registry" items, guests often feel like they're actually buying you a present as opposed to simply depositing money into a bank account (though this is exactly what they're doing...no matter what items are listed where on your registry, or what is listed, all the money is put into an online account that you can cash out of anytime - the check is mailed to you). Our registry is also linked to our website, and we put our website on the invitation (which also has other info on it for the wedding guests, like directions, etc).

It sort of sidesteps the registry on the invitation thing, but honestly, I really wouldn't care if it was on the invitation, and you should make that call yourself. If your wedding guests love you and are attending because they are celebrating your love, they really shouldn't be ruffled by a registry link on the invite.

samgirl · July 2011

www.depositagift.com it's awesome, very gay friendly and easy to use. fantastic customer service.

mariemoten129 · July 2011

we're using www.travelersjoy.com It's got the best % rates that they take out of the amount that is given to you!

RobinWilson12 · May 2013

Put your ideas regarding gifts on the wedding website. If you have created a gift registry with online gift registry service then they must have an option for creating a wedding website. You can personalize your website by yourself and can put the information on the events of your wedding and photos on it. I had a great experience with Ourwishingwell.com, regarding this.

minsu5 · May 2013

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

QueerFemme · May 2013

minsu5 said:

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

Just a head's up, honeyfunds are generally frowned upon here. A honeyfund is the same as asking your guests for cash, which is considered very rude and against proper etiquette.

minsu5 · May 2013

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

Just a head's up, honeyfunds are generally frowned upon here. A honeyfund is the same as asking your guests for cash, which is considered very rude and against proper etiquette.

I don't see a material difference between a gift registry and the Honeyfund (and all other cash option honeymoon registry). In both situations, you are providing guests the option to give you something in a particular form. Whether it is money for an excursion or a set of dishes, you are setting up a favored means of receiving a gift. It does not obligate any guest to follow it (I quite frankly ignore gift registries and give cash), but to those who want to know what the engaged couple wants, the registry can provide the answer.

If someone genuinely wants to avoid appearing to ask for money at a wedding, then avoid all forms of gift registry. But in my experience, it's really not that big of a deal.

QueerFemme · May 2013

minsu5 said:

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

Just a head's up, honeyfunds are generally frowned upon here. A honeyfund is the same as asking your guests for cash, which is considered very rude and against proper etiquette.

I don't see a material difference between a gift registry and the Honeyfund (and all other cash option honeymoon registry). In both situations, you are providing guests the option to give you something in a particular form. Whether it is money for an excursion or a set of dishes, you are setting up a favored means of receiving a gift. It does not obligate any guest to follow it (I quite frankly ignore gift registries and give cash), but to those who want to know what the engaged couple wants, the registry can provide the answer.

If someone genuinely wants to avoid appearing to ask for money at a wedding, then avoid all forms of gift registry. But in my experience, it's really not that big of a deal.

I hear you, and I'm telling you, the are actually quite different. If you posted this on the etiquette forum or even the gift registry forum, you would get very specific, detailed answers of why this is considered horribly rude and against proper etiquette.

You can probably search back just a few days on either board and see the reasons. This forum doesn't get as much traffic, so you won't be blasted for the breach of etiquette here, but I'm just giving you a head's up. Go lurk on those other boards if you are really interested.

minsu5 · May 2013

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

Just a head's up, honeyfunds are generally frowned upon here. A honeyfund is the same as asking your guests for cash, which is considered very rude and against proper etiquette.

I don't see a material difference between a gift registry and the Honeyfund (and all other cash option honeymoon registry). In both situations, you are providing guests the option to give you something in a particular form. Whether it is money for an excursion or a set of dishes, you are setting up a favored means of receiving a gift. It does not obligate any guest to follow it (I quite frankly ignore gift registries and give cash), but to those who want to know what the engaged couple wants, the registry can provide the answer.

If someone genuinely wants to avoid appearing to ask for money at a wedding, then avoid all forms of gift registry. But in my experience, it's really not that big of a deal.

I hear you, and I'm telling you, the are actually quite different. If you posted this on the etiquette forum or even the gift registry forum, you would get very specific, detailed answers of why this is considered horribly rude and against proper etiquette.
You can probably search back just a few days on either board and see the reasons. This forum doesn't get as much traffic, so you won't be blasted for the breach of etiquette here, but I'm just giving you a head's up. Go lurk on those other boards if you are really interested.

If people feel the need to blast one another because of their personal rules of etiquette, they are not fostering the sense of community these boards should provide to couples. Doing something new or nontraditional is not necessarily going against proper etiquette. For example, the Emily Post Institute (http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/652-inside-weddings-registry-rules) takes a favorable point of view on alternative gift registries. They do, however, provide discrete rules on how couples share where they are registering.

Nonetheless, thank you for the head's up; I appreciate it. If anything, we certainly added some activity on this board. I would love to see the Gay Weddings community grow and continue to have open, respectful conversations about our wedding planning experiences.

laurenp84 · June 2013

Hi. I'm new on here and was glad to see others who have registered on www.honeyfund.co.uk . Me and my fiancée live together and so don't need traditional wedding gifts. I have just finished setting up our honeymoon gift list and at least this way it gives our guests the opportunity to contribute towards the wedding/honeymoon if they want to.

Hope I don't get into trouble now!!

ashleyep · July 2013

minsu5 said:

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

cmgilpin said:

minsu5 said:

I'm all for having a gift registry that's beyond BBB and Macy's. Plus, neither I nor anyone I know frown on gift registries. It's convenient for guests to know what you want without asking you directly, and it's so commonly used, guests expect it. My fiance and I will still retain our separate homes after marriage, so we don't need any more household items. Instead, we've signed up for the Honeyfund because we love to travel and would appreciate any gifts that'll create an experience.

Just a head's up, honeyfunds are generally frowned upon here. A honeyfund is the same as asking your guests for cash, which is considered very rude and against proper etiquette.

I don't see a material difference between a gift registry and the Honeyfund (and all other cash option honeymoon registry). In both situations, you are providing guests the option to give you something in a particular form. Whether it is money for an excursion or a set of dishes, you are setting up a favored means of receiving a gift. It does not obligate any guest to follow it (I quite frankly ignore gift registries and give cash), but to those who want to know what the engaged couple wants, the registry can provide the answer.

If someone genuinely wants to avoid appearing to ask for money at a wedding, then avoid all forms of gift registry. But in my experience, it's really not that big of a deal.

I hear you, and I'm telling you, the are actually quite different. If you posted this on the etiquette forum or even the gift registry forum, you would get very specific, detailed answers of why this is considered horribly rude and against proper etiquette.
You can probably search back just a few days on either board and see the reasons. This forum doesn't get as much traffic, so you won't be blasted for the breach of etiquette here, but I'm just giving you a head's up. Go lurk on those other boards if you are really interested.

If people feel the need to blast one another because of their personal rules of etiquette, they are not fostering the sense of community these boards should provide to couples. Doing something new or nontraditional is not necessarily going against proper etiquette. For example, the Emily Post Institute (http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/652-inside-weddings-registry-rules) takes a favorable point of view on alternative gift registries. They do, however, provide discrete rules on how couples share where they are registering.

Nonetheless, thank you for the head's up; I appreciate it. If anything, we certainly added some activity on this board. I would love to see the Gay Weddings community grow and continue to have open, respectful conversations about our wedding planning experiences.

Someone made a fabulous post about the reasons why a honeyfund wasn't a good idea and I wish I could find it. The gist of it though is that a traditional registry is useful for your guests. They want to get you a gift, but don't know what to get you, so you supply a registry. No one needs to be told that cash is acceptable, it obviously is, so it's only useful to you. What you can do is say "we're saving for our honeymoon" if someone asks what you would like or where you are registered. It's okay for that to spread by word of mouth and opt out of a traditional registry if you prefer cash. That's the "correct" way of doing it.

Plus, as I've recently learned, Emily Post is an etiquette expert who died something like 60 years ago, her grandchildren or great-niece or something run her estate and publish books in her name now. They are not experts the way Emily Post was or that Miss Manners is. They've tried to update her etiquette tips with the times (as they should be) but have statements with which she probably wouldn't have agreed.

All of that being said, as always, know your guests, and at least offer a traditional registry, especially if you have a shower or if you have an aunt who is easily offended. I will never give a gift on a honeymoon registry, I would prefer to write you a check so you get all the cash. And I will decline a shower invite if you don't have a traditional registry to purchase from.

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