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XP - "X" number of seats have been reserved in your honor

chellekelchellekel member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
in Michigan-Detroit

I will be ordering my invitation suite this weekend.  I am having an adults only reception.  I am abiding by the etiquette rules and I am not noting that on the invitation itself.  I will also be putting the full names of all guests on the envelopes.  I would like to be proactive and try to prevent people from adding extra folks - so I was going to use "X" number of seats have been reserved in your honor suggestion I have seen frequently on TK.

Now to my question....Has anyone had any issues with people trying to swap the named invitees for someone else because the reply card has a certain number on it for seats?  Do you just respond, "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invite was only for ____?"  But then what do you say when they mention that a certain number of seats was reserved anyway so what's the big deal?

TIA!

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Re: XP - "X" number of seats have been reserved in your honor

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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment

    It's an interesting question I've never seen before. Most people know when an invitation is sent that the people named on the envelope are those being invited. However, over more than 3 years on the Knot I have read many times that invitees add more guests on their RSVP's than were invited.

    However, I don't recall seeing the question about "swap outs". To be honest, I think you will have a hard time policing a swap out for one of the named, invited guests. I think most brides & grooms plan a wedding around X number of people being invited and send the invitation out to specifically named people. But if Aunt Mary's invitation is to her and her adult daughter, for example, if Aunt Mary's daughter doesn't want to come, but Aunt Mary chooses to bring her new boyfriend and responds with the fact she's bringing someone else, how do you call Aunt Mary and say "I invited you and your daughter, you can't bring your boyfriend"? I agree it's rude that Aunt Mary has chosen a replacement you did not invite, but I think you'll create hard feelings if you notify her that her boyfriend isn't invited to your wedding. She may see this as the perfect time to introduce him to the family.

    I can't think of an easy way your question could be handled etiquette-wise. If it were me, I wouldn't go there unless someone "swaps out" a known trouble maker who riles up every event they attend, and you were expressly excluding them from the event.

    Good luck.

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    mrsbeemrsbee member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    I have had that problem, and I've read about a lot of others. I invited my cousin and his teenage daughters. He sent back the rsvp for him, his daughter and "guest." It drove me absolutely insane. But then I realized that if they hadn't told me, I wouldn't even notice because I don't know that side of the family that well. Our biggest problem was the single friends who aren't in relationships. They all suddenly became close to being engaged, or at least they claimed they were. 

     

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