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Involvement in Wedding Shower

cmcole4509cmcole4509 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
So I don't know a lot about wedding showers. Am I supposed to have anything to do with my own wedding shower? Like do I decided the date and time and send out invitations, or is that the job of whoever is hosting it? Also, is there a traditional time that people throw wedding showers, such as a certain amount of months before the wedding?
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Re: Involvement in Wedding Shower

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    No, you have nothing to do with it.  If someone offers you a shower, you can accept it.  You should not ask someone to throw you a shower or throw one for yourself.  It is likely that the host would confirm the date with you and maybe the general plan.  

    My mom's best friend hosted my shower.  We talked about a date together, since I was coming from out of town, and then she picked a restaurant and menu, sent out the invitations, and handled RSVPs.  

    My shower was in April for a July wedding, since the timing worked out with me coming into town.  I think showers are typically in the 2-3 months before the wedding.  
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  • cmcole4509cmcole4509 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thank you :)
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    I disagree with jessicabessica that you have nothing to do with it. You absolutely have say in the date! Without you there, it wouldn't be a shower.  You also have say in the guest list, as long as it falls within the host's limits since you need to make sure that only those invited to the wedding are also invited to the shower.

     

    As for where it's at, what happens, what food is served, etc., you don't get say...but there are some very key things that you definitely will have input on!

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  • cmcole4509cmcole4509 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thank you all for your input!
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  • southernredandwhite85southernredandwhite85 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    You should ask the host how many people she would like to host/accommodate and then make the invitation list. You'd hate for your host to leave off someone important that you want to be there or invite someone who isn't invited to the wedding.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Agree with PP; your only real involvement is to ask the hostess what she can afford in terms of guests and then supply a full and accurate guest list WITH ADDRESSES. You should have some say-so in the date, of course, and if your opinion is asked for on other things, provide it. Don't say 'whatever you want'; speaking as a several-time hostess of bridal showers, that is NOT helpful.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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