I'm in a bit of a predicament. Here is the gist of it: Do I have to include my future brother-in-law's wife as a bridesmaid?
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My fiance brothers whom are already married. I am good friends with one of the girls and have known her since college before I even met my fiance. The other is more of an acquaintance to me. We talk at family events but we don't hang out or talk outside of those family events. I was not a bridesmaid at either wedding. I have always held a small group of close friends and those are the girls that I wanted to share my wedding day with. My fiance's one sister-in-law who I have been friends with since college is someone that I would like as my bridesmaid. The other brother's wife however is not someone I'm close to but part of me feels that it would be poor manners not to invite. She's not known to be an active bridesmaid unless you are her best friend. Should I just bite the bullet and included her as a bridesmaid just because she is married to my future brother-in-law? Or is there another way to incorporate her without offending her?
From my recent experience I have seen that being a bridesmaid costs a lot of time and sometimes money. I have planned to provide the more expensive items for my bridesmaids myself, such as their dresses and shoes, etc. These are expenses for which I plan to foot the bill because I don't want any of my closest friends not being able to participate because the expense would be too large. Because of this I also don't want to spend money on someone who I've never been close to and thinks they are doing me some grand favor just by showing up.
At the end of the day though, if it causes trouble in the family then I'd be willing to suck it up and deal with it but I just want to know if anyone has ever come across this situation and how to handle it diplomatically. What options do I have?