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who pays for flowergirls dress

I am having  two flower girls my daughter and my fiancés sisters daughter bu.t  my fiancés sister   is trying to play the I don't have money for flower girls dress and her own dress  that since  I want her daughter in wedding I should pay for  it?   so should  I  pay for it or  should I wait for her to get her dress before  I decide on her daughters dress? (did I mention she always has money for her smoke and her cigs ) so I think she can go without  smoke for a few months for her daughters dress

Re: who pays for flowergirls dress

  • I would just pay for it unless she gave you her budget ahead of time. I don't know if that is the right or wrong thing to do, but you can get a young girl's dress pretty cheaply and you would end up in a much better situation than if you fought with the mother over how she should be spending her money. 
  • I don't  mind  paying for dress it was the way she put me on the spot   in front of  her  family  my future mother in law and  my   MOH
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You really think she is going to give up smoking for a few months in order to pay for a dress for her daughter?  Seriously?



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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Just pay for the dress. This is not a hill to die on. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I am having  two flower girls my daughter and my fiancés sisters daughter bu.t  my fiancés sister   is trying to play the I don't have money for flower girls dress and her own dress  that since  I want her daughter in wedding I should pay for  it?   so should  I  pay for it or  should I wait for her to get her dress before  I decide on her daughters dress? (did I mention she always has money for her smoke and her cigs ) so I think she can go without  smoke for a few months for her daughters dress

    Hate to say it OP, but the bolded is really not any of your problem. I understand your frustration, but how she spends her money is up to her. Honestly, I would probably just pay for it yourself. There are TONS of options for flower girl dresses that are extremely affordable (Kohls, Target, childrens consignment shops). If its really going to cause a ton of stress, just buy it. Like Addie said, this is not a hill to die on.
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  • true  but I am also on a tight budget me and fiancé are paying  15 grand for our own wedding
  • The following pieces of information are irrelevant: what she spends her money on and what you and your FI are paying for your wedding. You can find a dress, for cheap, for the FG.

    Also, if I read the OP correctly, this potential FG is your FI's sister's daughter -- his niece, and your soon-to-be niece. This isn't a hill you want to die on, and this isn't a feud you want to start. Find cute, cheap FG dresses at Kohls or Macy's or somewhere. The FG dress for my wedding cost $27 from Kohls. It's an Easter dress, but it's perfect for the wedding.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Nobody forced you to shell out 15k for your wedding. FI and I have a household income higher than I ever imagined we would, and we are spending 6k on our wedding. Did you ask her in advance what she could afford, or did you just choose a dress and tell her what it cost? If so (and I suspect you did), you put her on the spot just as much as you say she did to you. Pay for the darn dress.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers


    true  but I am also on a tight budget me and fiancé are paying  15 grand for our own wedding
    Well, then, I guess you could always kick that poor little girl out of the wedding if you don't want to pay for her dress if her mother can't. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • I am having  two flower girls my daughter and my fiancés sisters daughter bu.t  my fiancés sister   is trying to play the I don't have money for flower girls dress and her own dress  that since  I want her daughter in wedding I should pay for  it?   so should  I  pay for it or  should I wait for her to get her dress before  I decide on her daughters dress? (did I mention she always has money for her smoke and her cigs ) so I think she can go without  smoke for a few months for her daughters dress

    Because she is supposed to make your wedding a priority over her own life?  I don't smoke, but honestly, why would you expect someone to give up anything for your wedding? It's your wedding. If she can't afford the dress, you should suck it up and buy it for her if you want the kid in the wedding. You can easily find flower girl dresses for $20-60. 
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