Wedding Etiquette Forum

A quick seating question

Thanks in advance for any help y'all can give me.

My fiance was orphaned as a young child, and has no real family (raised in foster care, never adopted). He does, of course, have friends who will be attending our small wedding, but for the most part the guests will be my family.

So my question is, how do we get the message to our guests that we don't want a "bride" or "groom" side in the chapel, and that everyone should sit wherever? Do we spread the word through family, have ushers guide them, what? I want something subtle, but that will get the message across.

Thanks, again!

Re: A quick seating question

  • playtntsbpg30playtntsbpg30 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010

    Was it in and out of different forster homes? Is he close to any of those parents that was apart of raising him?


    If you have ushers sitting guest, have them seat them on both sides. Or the person with the sign in /guest book, have them tell everyone as they are entering to please sit anywhere.  And defintialy try to spread it around between now and then by word of mouth.
    Good Luck

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  • have ushers just even the sides...not a problem.
  • playtnteppg27:
    Unfortunately, he was never in one foster home for a long period of time, and was never really close to any of the foster parents. One "foster brother" (another foster child who was in a couple of houses with him) is still a close friend, and is his best man.

    I have been resisting having ushers, since our wedding is going to be small-ish, but the idea of having the guest book attendant directing guests is a good one. Hopefully my immediate family will be able to spread word in advance pretty well, too.

    Thank you both!
  • I'd say don't have ushers.  We didn't, people sorted themselves out fine.
  • We had Ushers and if people asked what side they should sit on, the Ushers told them that we werent' doing sides and they could sit anywhere.  Really, most weddings I've been to lately haven't split up sides, you just sit where ever.
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  • Yeah, it seems like the sides thing is way less prevalent than it used to be.

    You don't need to have ushers if you don't want. But you can also make the usher thing very informal. For example, I asked my brother and a couple of nephews a few weeks before the wedding to arrive early and help to guide people to their seats, hand out programs, etc.
  • We didn't try to split the side for our wedding, and they didn't just split naturally.  I think you'll be fine without any sort of direction.  People will sit where there are open chairs.
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  • Unless the entire guest list is your family and you're not inviting any friends of his at all.. I wouldn't worry too much. Most people don't really do the sides thing anymore and I'm sure his friends will gravitate towards his side anyways. How small is small-ish? 50-75 people?
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