No nooky before the wedding...

jenn5628 · June 2013

I'm just slightly over a month out from our wedding. All along I've been joking with FI 'oh, didn't I tell you? We're not going to have sex for 6 months before wedding

' etc... but I've known couples who have set a time line - like no sex for the month before or week before. I suspect it's some vain attempt to re-gain some virginal status, but I do like the idea of building that anticipation for the wedding night. Has anyone done this? Or will you do this? How long did you 'abstain' for before the wedding?

misssunshine17 · June 2013

I told FI a month, but in reality it'll probably be more like a week.

jenn5628 · June 2013

FI and I might break up within the month if I held out that long!!

AddieCake · June 2013

My husband started the job that keeps him on the road in January before our wedding, and when he left on the 1st, I didn't see him again until 4 days before the wedding in March. Does that count?!

jenn5628 · June 2013

Well played Stage, well played!

WinstonsGirl · June 2013

Didn't bother. We also didn't bother the wedding night either cos we were both so tired

LiLe422 · June 2013

I agree with Stage.

My H and I spent the night before the wedding apart. I stayed at the resort with a few girlfriends to set up. He stayed home to take care of our fur babies. My H...he made damn sure he got him some before I left for the night

Although, we did joke about abstaining before the wedding. Does that rate?

MoonlightSilver · June 2013

Like Stage said, sex is worse the longer I have to wait between getting some. I'd never have gone for abstinence before the wedding.

lyndausvi · June 2013

The last time we had sex before the wedding was the Thursday before the Saturday wedding. It wasn't planned, we just weren't together alone long enough to make it happen on Friday. He stayed with his mom the night before, I was with my entire family. We both wanted to wait to see each other until the first look.

Sierra524 · June 2013

I have no intentions of holding out before the wedding.. I would probably become a bridezilla if I didn't have sex during the week of.

HobokensFury · June 2013

Trust me you're going to need the sex to relax you and relieve wedding stress.

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

MuppetFan · June 2013

Does anyone else think of the Newlywed Game when they read "Nooky?" or...Kid Rock?

jenn5628 · June 2013

TXKristan said:

We abstained for most of our engagement for personal / faith reasons. We gave into the temptation a few weeks before the wedding. But, I do remember the week leading up to it, I had been up a good part of the night working on programs and centerpieces and I was just so tired. DH (then FI) tried to cuddle and fool around, and I told him there was no way in hell it was gonna happen that night.

LOL, I see this happening with us too! I might just make it official for the week leading up to the wedding just to prevent an argument!

Weezy56 · June 2013

We put sex on pause for a few weeks, it heightened the anticipation for us and the wedding night sex was awesome. On the flip side though, it probably still would have been awesome whether we abstained or not. And just because it worked for us doesn't mean it works for everyone, as you can see from PPs

MuppetFan · June 2013

StageManager14 said:

Does anyone else think of the Newlywed Game when they read "Nooky?" or...Kid Rock?
I think Limp Bizkit, personally.

Haha that's what I meant by Kid Rock. I suck

RailWayWife · June 2013

We wont be doing "anything" the night before

HisGirlFriday13 · June 2013

FI and I will be abstaining for the better part of the week before the wedding, but only for logistical reasons. I'll be in my hometown, where we're getting married, and he'll be in the town where we live now. Hard to have nooky when you're 100+ miles apart! Otherwise, nope. We aren't abstaining now, so why do it then? And I agree with Stage... Abstaining makes the next time fast and kind of awkward. Why would I want that?

sdg2502 · June 2013

I hadn't really considered this but I have a split personality on this one.
On one hand, I think abstaining would be fun to build up a sense of anticipation and to make us really look forward to our wedding night and not just the day.
On the other hand, I think the few weeks up to the wedding could be stressful and I would regret abstaining then. Plus, we're getting married in Vegas. Our first night in our hotel room, with a view of the strip, having had a few glasses of wine...I don't think I'd be capable of abstaining!
I think not seeing each other the night before is enough for me.

radleyboo · June 2013

Like some of the PP's here, FI and I have been living together for some time now. Personally, I can't imagine sleeping anywhere but in my own comfy bed the night before the wedding. I'll want to get as much sleep as possible to be ready, and I don't sleep well away from FI or in another bed.

This is a second wedding for both of us, neither of us had sex on our wedding night the first time around. We are both hugely superstitious about that now, so there will definitely be relations on our wedding night!

kmmssg · June 2013

If you are abstaining for reasons of faith then I understand it.

As an old married lady, if you've been doing it like rabbits and all of a sudden you decide to abstain to make the wedding night more special, I don't get that one at all. More power to you if that is your decision but I don't get it.

If you have been living together and/or having sex on a regular basis and just stop "because" of the wedding, that seems to me like a recipe for MORE stress. I just don't see the other partner being all excited to be told, "Sorry Honey, but no nooky for the next month til after the wedding so it will be more special..." DH and I were living together when we got married - this would NOT have flown at all!

MissMolly · June 2013

No, this sounds a little silly to me. Once the cherry is popped, there's no going back, so trying to "regain virginal status" is just plain absurd. If my wedding does happen and my fiance isn't sent running for the hills away from me, then for absolute certain, I won't cut off things on the sexual end. If he runs, well, then no issue with the sex.

BostonGIrl4732 · June 2013

FI and I were long distance for a while and both living with our parents. That started the no-nooky streak. Then we moved in together, but I'd come off the BC pills, so we currently have no BC (wrapping it up doesn't work for us). I'm trying to schedule a doctors appointment so I can go back on the pill, but at that point we're so close to the wedding I could see us holding off until the honeymoon.

Who are we kidding, as soon as I'm on the pill again that's all going out the window....

kjlamb · June 2013

no nooky before the wedding. FI and I are both virgins, but if we weren't i would not stop just because of the wedding

erinlin25 · June 2013

yeah, no; 3 days to and its pretty much what enables me to sleep well, haha

swimmy1988 · June 2013

We joke about that all the time.
The week leading up to the wedding I will be at my mother's and he won't be coming to the venue until the day before. Maybe I'll jump his bones then lol.

rajahmd · June 2013

We don't plan on abstaining. We've joked about it and had half-serious conversations about it, but I doubt we'll actually do it. We're even spending the night before our wedding together. Hell, we might just have sex the morning of our wedding, just to get one last premarital hoorah in.

MissMolly · June 2013

kjlamb said:

no nooky before the wedding. FI and I are both virgins, but if we weren't i would not stop just because of the wedding

Are you doing this for a specific reason?

amaryann210 · June 2013

FI and I are waiting until we get married. We're not virgins, but haven't yet been with each other. It's partially for religious reasons and partially just being traditional. I've been around the block enough to know that, for me, I don't need to have sex with him before we get married to know he's the right one, and he feels the same. I'm absolutely anticipating the wedding night and I am a realist- it probably will not be amazing, but I'm not a teenager living in a fantasy, so I won't be disappointed. We have the rest of our marriage to have sex.

Summer2011Bride · June 2013

Alesha1978 said:

kjlamb said:

no nooky before the wedding. FI and I are both virgins, but if we weren't i would not stop just because of the wedding

Are you doing this for a specific reason?

Perhaps your tone isn't coming across correctly in written format, but it seems judgmental to me. Why does anyone have to defend their reason to wait until marriage to have sex? This would be the exact same as someone questioning you why you WERE choosing to have sex before getting married.

laylasaurus · June 2013

There will be no holding out. We will probably try to work in a quickie at some point the day of, I'm 100% sure we will both be too drunk and tired the night of. On a related note, the last friend's wedding I was at, she passed out next to the bonfire at 4 am with the groom trying unsuccessfully to wake her up. That's the last I saw her before I crashed in my tent (we were all camping on her parents property). Apparently she ended up sleeping in her dress on her parents dining room table. I'm not sure exactly how that happened, though I do know that a few bridesmaids ended up in the bed she and groom were supposed to have. Groom crashed in a tent he only managed to half set up. I imagine when confronted with the table verses the half falling down tent, she just went with the table. Drunken logic wins every time. And surprisingly, no one was upset by any of this. They definitely didn't get any, and everyone knew it.

No nooky before the wedding...

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