catholic wedding on saturday

Re: catholic wedding on saturday

• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  I replied to your post in another thread, so I'll only address a few of your items here:

  
  

  1) your FI HAS to be married in the church to be considered in good standing with the church.  If he hasn't expressed that to you, I think the two of you should be sure to talk about the role religion will play in your home together.  Where to get married will be the least of your hurdles if you haven't figured that out.

  
  

  2) I would skip the receiving line.  I know you are talking about finding things for your guests to do before the reception, but you'll have plenty of time to greet your guests at your reception.

  
  

  3) If the church will let you use their hall space to entertain your guests, I think that's an awesome idea!  I gave you some others in the other thread.

  
  

  Good luck!  And relax.  In the grand scheme, these are TINY details.  You will still get married, it will still be awesome.

  

  
  

  
  

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• Chloeagh member

  

  June 2013

  Does it have to be a dinner reception? FI and I are having our ceremony at 11, then having a lunch reception because we can't afford a 2+ hour long cocktail hour. And in my opinion, a cocktail hour longer than an hour is way too long.
  

  

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• Tami87 member

  

  June 2013

  So Catholic ceremony with mass will take around 1 hour and 15 min depending on how long the priest talks during the homily and how many people receive communion. If you are having a ceremony outside of mass (which is sometimes suggested for mixed faith marriages) this will be 30-45 min.
  
  Agree with professorscience that it sounds like you guys need to talk some more about religion and the role it will play in your family. As she mentioned your FI has to get married in Catholic church to remain in good standing. He will also be promising to raise any children Catholic and you would be promising to not impede this effort. As part of the ceremony you both will be asked "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
  
  As for the timing, I think that if you can make the gap smaller than would be better. You also may not be able to do a receiving line and take pictures at the church depending on what else is scheduled that day. I know at our church we were given a limited time block and had to chose one or the other. We picked pictures and greeting guests when they arrived at the reception site.
  
  Gaps are common in my circle and weddings are expected to be all day affairs so I don't find them as offensive or annoying as many people on this board do. I do think it is nice to provide some type of place for guests to relax and hang out in between with light snacks and at least water and tea or something if possible. For example a relatives house close to the church, a room at the hotel for out of town guests or the church hall you suggested sounds like a great idea to me.
  

  

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• lalaith50 member

  

  June 2013

  Gaps are also common in my circles, and sometimes the family offers an activity for people to do, and sometimes not. If most of your guests are from out of town, you could rent a bus or something to take them around for a tour of the city, but if most of them are in-town, then you don't really have to worry - they can find ways to entertain themselves, even if that means going home to take a nap! I was recently at a wedding, and they had provided (I dont know if it was rented,) a room at a local restaurant with a bunch of tables where people can talk, and the servers brought out appetizers and had some pitchers of drinks. I think the church idea sounds great for this too.

  
  

  And... I don't know how firmly your money deposits are in place, but you could always solve this whole problem by getting married on a Friday, or even some churches will allow Sunday, then you can have the ceremony whenever you want!

  

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• hyechica81 member

  

  June 2013

  we made a deposit on the venue a year ago.. so changing that is out of the question plus we got a really good package deal. we booked it with the hopes that we could do a later ceremoney around 130-2 in order to keep the gap from being supper long. i have never heard about the other stuff you are saying i haev a friend who got married in the catholic church ( non catholic and she did not have to sign any of those papers or prommis to raise any children in the church) our comprimise was we get married in his church and any children we have will be baptized and raised in my church.. it was our agreeement to each other. now if his church is strick strick then i would have an issue there

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  
  

  hyechica81 said:

  we made a deposit on the venue a year ago.. so changing that is out of the question plus we got a really good package deal. we booked it with the hopes that we could do a later ceremoney around 130-2 in order to keep the gap from being supper long. i have never heard about the other stuff you are saying i haev a friend who got married in the catholic church ( non catholic and she did not have to sign any of those papers or prommis to raise any children in the church) our comprimise was we get married in his church and any children we have will be baptized and raised in my church.. it was our agreeement to each other. now if his church is strick strick then i would have an issue there

  Has your FI actually talked to his church yet?  Have you set up marriage preparation?  Because you go over things like what is expected of people married in the Catholic church.  It's not as simple as just showing up and getting married.

  
  

  No one holds a gun to your head and makes you sign some form, although one of the things you have to complete is an interview that will determine if you are free to marry, and you do sign a form there.  And in your wedding you will be asked to welcome children as gifts from God and raise them in the Church.

  
  

  So here's the thing: if you don't plan on raising your children Catholic, and you don't plan on participating in the Catholic faith, why get married in a Catholic church?  If your husband wants to continue practicing, that's excellent, and he's doing everything the right way to continue to receive the sacraments.  However, if you and he fully intend to attend and raise your kids in YOUR church, then you're going to be standing up there on your wedding day and lying about your intentions for your marriage.  Part of his duty as a Catholic is to raise his children in the faith.

  
  

  I'm not saying interfaith marriages don't work -- they definitely do, but it's important that you both actually look at what a marriage (Catholic or otherwise) means and make sure that you actually agree with what you'll be promising to do on your wedding day.

  

  
  

  
  

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  Also, even though you've already paid for your reception site, see if they will let you move your time up.  Most places either have set times for afternoon receptions and evening receptions, or they let you get in at whatever time you want.  They might let you start cocktail hour at 4, which would significantly shorten your gap.  My reception began around 4:00 and ended around 8:30-9:00, we had a beautiful view of downtown and it was dark outside by the end.  Afterward several people went to a bar and/or afterparties to keep things going.

  

  
  

  
  

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• hyechica81 member

  

  June 2013

  i was thinking of seeing if we could do a earlier time slot and pay the difference to them as long as they dont have a wedding already going on at the venue in the room we have booked

  
  

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  hyechica81 said:

  i was thinking of seeing if we could do a earlier time slot and pay the difference to them as long as they dont have a wedding already going on at the venue in the room we have booked

  
  

  Hopefully they wouldn't do this.  Even if your reception started at 7, your vendors would need to be in there at least an hour early, which would mean an earlier event would have to be done and cleared out by 5 at the absolute latest.  I've seen a lot of ceremony sites that will do multiple weddings in a day, but I find it rare that one would do multiple receptions (in a single room, that is).

  

  
  

  
  

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• hyechica81 member

  

  June 2013

  the only vendor that is needed at the reception is the dj and the cake vendor the venue is providing flower centerpeices for all my tables 

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  Yes, but they still have to set up.  It's not a five-second thing...

  

  
  

  
  

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• Calypso1977 member

  

  June 2013

  is your FI wanting to marry in the church because its important to him or becuse its important to his family?  because honestly, if its important to him, then raising his children catholic should be equally important.

  you dont marry in a catholic ceremony without the intent to raise your children catholic.  its pretty much a requirement.

   

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• agapecarrie member

  

  June 2013

  Marrying "in the church" means more than just marrying inside the Catholic church building.

  
  

  It means that one has to intend for the marriage to be what the church intends... free, total, faithful, and fruitful. One of the questions you must answer at the wedding-- in the statement of intentions is "will you accept Children lovingly from God and raise them according to Christ and his Church". 

  
  

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• hyechica81 member

  

  June 2013

  its important to him and his small family. my mom was married in the catholic church and had her first 3 children baptized in the church. when i was 6 years old my mom left the catholic church and went back to her old church and raised us as christian orthodox. when my little sister was born she was baptized in the christian orthodox church. when iw as 16 my godson/cousin was being baptized. me along with 2 of my siblings and some  of us cousins who were baptized in the catholic church our parents had our priest do a small ceremony to confirm us in the church as in my church when you are baptized you get all your sacrements at once..  they take the communion a small peice and rub it against your lip when you are baptized..

  
  

  i would love to have any children we have be raised in both churches.. i have had friends before that went to 2 churches it can be confusing but it worked for them 

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  I agree that it can be done, but you have to think about what you are promising.

  
  

  I would just really encourage you to speak to a priest about it, as well as a clergyman from your home church.

  

  
  

  
  

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• SarahA203 member

  

  June 2013

  I'm getting married in a Catholic Church at 6:30 pm on a Saturday. It's not completely out of the question. See if there's another church in your area who is okay with a Saturday pm wedding--unless its an issue with the priest not being able to officiate. Also, it's not out of the question (at least in my area) to have a catholic ceremony in another church. As long as its your church, or at least in a church period, it should be fine. Just talk to the priest. And probably your fiancé.

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• professorscience member

  

  June 2013

  To have a ceremony at a nonCatholic venue there are usually dispensations involved.

  

  
  

  
  

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