charging guests for dinner

southernredandwhite85 · June 2013

That's incredibly rude. I'd decline.

annathy03 · June 2013

Another member of Team Decline! If she can't afford much, then she should host cake and punch at a non-mealtime. NOT pass her reception cost onto "guests" aka customers!

I do like XT's wording: OR you could decline and say (maybe by phone would be better) "Sorry, as much as I'd love to make it for your special day, we can't afford for travel and dinner so we will be wishing you well from afar!"

NerdyLucy · June 2013

I've read this entire thread three times and I still can't believe it.

Well, I guess I CAN believe it....

My parents once went to a dinner party like this. I remember that they were invited to a party by some old friends, but the invitations only implied that there might be h'ordourves or finger food, so Mom and dad had dinner as usual, and later went to the party. It turns out that there was a full plated meal. They were surprised and they wished they hadn't eaten dinner before leaving for the party, but it was no big deal.

Then, before they left, they were given a bill for the food (this was at a venue with waitstaff). There was nothing that had even alluded to the fact that they'd be paying, and if I recall correctly, most of the other guests were just as surprised (and appalled). I think I was about 14 at the time, and I can still remember their faces when they got home and told me about it. Dad kept saying, "Well gosh, if I had known we'd be paying for the food, we'd have gone there starving instead of filling up beforehand!"

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

Well, if you've always wanted to see what it feels like to skip out on a bill, this is a guilt free opportunity to give it a whirl.

Jen4948 · June 2013

I would also politely decline.

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

Decline. But ask someone to take pictures!

Summer2011Bride · June 2013

Yeah no. This is awful. If someone told me I had to pay $150 to attend their wedding, I would laugh in their face.

hockey20 · June 2013

Team Decline, all the way. I'm sorry, but if they feel that the catering is so pricey that they need to pass it on to their guests, who the bride and groom should be honoured to have attend, than they need to find a cheaper caterer.

It is NOT the guests responsibility to foot the bill for something out of the hosts price range, this is what is called poor planning.

MuppetFan · June 2013

Liatris2010 said:

This is a friendship I would let go. I just couldn't be friends who someone who sent me an invitation suggesting I pay for the privilege of eating in her vicinity on her wedding day.

She's right! The potluck wedding I have to go to has permanently tainted my opinion of the couple. If it were almost anyone else, I wouldn't even remain their facebook friend.

allispain · June 2013

Team Decline all the way!

I mean, really, asking your guests to pay their way at your wedding? Does not compute.

cmalork · June 2013

I'm on Team Decline! I wonder if her wedding party and groomsmen are having to pay for that as well as everything else they have to pay for. I agree with the bolded part.

OR you could decline and say (maybe by phone would be better) "Sorry, as much as I'd love to make it for your special day, we can't afford for travel and dinner so we will be wishing you well from afar!"

pesematology · June 2013

Wow. Just wow. So bad.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

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lyndausvi · June 2013

I was thinking about this last night. DH and I often (like twice a month) have a $150 dinner tab. There certain friends who join us. We have other friends were that is too expensive for their liking (not necessarily they can't afford it, they don't want to which is fine) , so when we want to go out to dinner with them we choose a less expensive place. No big deal as tere are a ton of awesome restaurants in all price ranges. We do not limit ourselves to any price range.

I can't for the life of me see how ANYONE could actually good in good faith invite people off all different economical situations and tastes to a meal that forces them to pay that kind of money. And they don't even get a choice! If I'm spending $150 for 2 of us for dinner you better bet we are picking the venue and meal we want to eat.

allispain · June 2013

lyndausvi said:

I was thinking about this last night. DH and I often (like twice a month) have a $150 dinner tab. There certain friends who join us. We have other friends were that is too expensive for their liking (not necessarily they can't afford it, they don't want to which is fine) , so when we want to go out to dinner with them we choose a less expensive place. No big deal as tere are a ton of awesome restaurants in all price ranges. We do not limit ourselves to any price range.

I can't for the life of me see how ANYONE could actually good in good faith invite people off all different economical situations and tastes to a meal that forces them to pay that kind of money. And they don't even get a choice! If I'm spending $150 for 2 of us for dinner you better bet we are picking the venue and meal we want to eat.

This. This is exactly what I was thinking when I read OP's post. FI and I might spend that much on dinner for the two of us once or twice a year. We're not made of money, so it's a special treat to celebrate a birthday or an important milestone. When we do spend that much, it's at a place where we can choose which bottle of wine to split and can pick food off of an extensive menu, so that we both are happy with our choices.

I stick to my original comment on the idea of charging guests this much money to attend a reception: does not compute.

PhoneCardLady · June 2013

I would want to know what I'd get for $75, then decline....

Belle2188 · June 2013

I refuse to believe this is real.

kipnus · June 2013

I have never, ever spent $75 on a meal just for me. That's a big bill for two of us! There is no way I would go to that wedding.

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