Honeyfunds are tacky and rude. It's absolutely shameful that any of you PPs are advocating for a honeyfund on an etiquette board. Yes, people use honeymoon registries. They also have cash bars and dollar dances. all of those things are tacky though, and are not acceptable etiquette. If you want to be tacky, knock yourself out. But don't give tacky advice on an etiquette board.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
I am completely in agreement with you. A lot of these remarks sound very i don't know stuck up in my opinion. Every wedding is different as is every bride. There is no one wedding fits all. Honeymoon registries are still new, however it is 2013 not the 1900 ladies! Every couples needs are different.. Some already have things for the household and would like to go on a honeymoon! It doesn't mean it would be the next day or next week! What if they want to plan something for their one year anniversary? Would you still consider it a raunchy "sex fest"? Calling a honey moon a sex fest is more tacky to me than a simple honeymoon fund. Besides, its not like you family and friends don't already assume you haven't had a raunchy sex fest already! Duh! Your getting married your not mother Theresa! Honeymoon registries are great! And.. Put it in your invitation ladies! Don't be cookie cutter perfect!.... That is BORING! How else are you getting info out to your guest from out out town that you hardly talk to but your still inviting to your wedding?? Oh thats right you talk to them once and slyly tell them where your registered!!! Not tacky or rude at all!!! NOT!!
This is an etiquette board. If you want to follow crappy etiquette for your OWN wedding knock yourself out, but don't offer poor advice on a board where people are looking for proper etiquette. Proper etiquette is never, ever boring,
Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out. (You don't have to use PayPal, and the guest can pay with a check. However, you must realize that when you do this, the wedding etiquette fairy will come down from the heavens and burn your eyes out with hot pokers.)
(That article also has some good information on different registry companies)
You might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation. So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you would be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift registry or a honeymoon one.
Wedding gifts aren't required anyway. If you don't like honeymoon registries, don't buy a gift from one. I don't understand all the sanctimonious, self-righteous, butthurtedness over this topic.
From an etiquette standpoint, yes, they are considered rude. Although personally I actually agree with most everything this poster said. We are not having one, although again personally, I don't bat an eye at them when friends have used them in the past. We're in our mid 30's and most of us are well-established and don't need the "stuff". We can certainly pay for our own vacations, but I have purchased off them before because I knew that is what the couple wanted. I'd rather contribute to an experience than buy a spatula. I'm also shocked at the number of family members and friends who have pushed us to create one. They think it is brilliant. I would never advocate couples using a fund registry, but I do think the level of hatred is interesting, and somewhat arbitrary considering the points the OP made.
Definitely in the "they are tacky" camp. It is deceptive to suggest that someone to "buy" you an experience on your honeymoon (dinner, massage, whatever), when really they are just giving you cash. If they wanted to give you cash, they would JUST GIVE YOU CASH. Everyone knows that cash is always a welcome gift (unless maybe you're going to a small child's birthday party, in which case the child would probably prefer a toy as they don't know what cash is yet). If they think that you should use that cash for a particular purpose, they could write it on the memo line or in your card. Example, "To the happy couple, hope you use this for a romantic dinner out one night."
The other thing that I don't understand is that if people want to buy you an experience, there is nothing stopping them from doing so. I have personally given gift cards to a couple's favorite restaurant with a note suggesting they have a date night on us. You could do the same thing with spa cards. I have family members with lots of frequent flier miles who have given couples flights for their honeymoon as their wedding gift. My point is you can ACTUALLY give an "experience" gift without the use of a honeymoon registry, whereas when you use a honeymoon registry you are deceiving your guests and just getting cash.
FWIW I think registering for gift cards or planning on returning gifts bought off a registry is also incredibly tacky. You register so you don't get 4 blenders or 3 different types of place settings, not so you can return physical items for cash. Aside from being rude, registering with the intent of returning things for cash seems really time consuming and also might not be possible with certain stores' policies. You should only register for items you want and will keep.
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
I don't give cash and I don't give to honeymoon funds. (You don't need a honeymoon. No one needs a honeymoon. It's a want, not a need. If you want one, pay for it yourself. I am not going to fund it for you.) So, if those are the only choices you offer me, I can either waste my money trying to pick something out for you that you don't want, or give you nothing. And I'd rather not waste my money.
Personally, I really think the phrase 'we truly don't need or want anything' is kind of sanctimonious. It's like you can find nothing to be gracious or grateful for at all, and are above or too good for the generosity or good wishes given by others. Fine, you have towels, saucepans, and a toaster already. Give them away and let people who care about you give you nice new ones. Sheesh.
Regardless if the actual honeymoon registry is rude or not, putting ANYTHING in with your wedding invite is wrong!! You are inviting somebody for their presence not their presents.
For all of you who say that a honeymoon fund isn't tacky or insulting, I have to disagree. Some of your younger guests may not be insulted (though I have been) but think of all your older guests who were always taught asking for money for their wedding was in poor taste. I just had this conversation with my FI's grandmother. Possibly the sweetest woman I have ever met, she asked me what I thought of honeymoon funds and told me she didn't understand them. I told her I found them quite rude and she told me she was relieved to hear that because she thought maybe she was just "out of touch with the times." It turns out another one of her grandsons is getting married and she just got the shower invite. Most of the women in the family were planning on going to the bride's shower until they found out about the honeymoon fund registry. Now half of them declined because she only did the fund, no other items, and they felt the party was just an excuse to get more cash. Will all of your guests be insulted? No, probably not.Will some of them? Heck yes! Try to remember they are your guests, not an ATM before you think up all the reasons these funds are great.
@kmmssg thank you !! I finally figured out how to change it, so I'm probably going to change it frequently now !!
Yeah, one of these days I might actually try to figure it out....
For the love all things holy, please explain changing the damn thing to me! I have tried repeatedly to update my ticker bc the date was changed, but I'm somehow not doing it right LOL
@kmmssg thank you !! I finally figured out how to change it, so I'm probably going to change it frequently now !!
Yeah, one of these days I might actually try to figure it out....
For the love all things holy, please explain changing the damn thing to me! I have tried repeatedly to update my ticker bc the date was changed, but I'm somehow not doing it right LOL
Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Personally, I really think the phrase 'we truly don't need or want anything' is kind of sanctimonious. It's like you can find nothing to be gracious or grateful for at all, and are above or too good for the generosity or good wishes given by others. Fine, you have towels, saucepans, and a toaster already. Give them away and let people who care about you give you nice new ones. Sheesh.
I generally give a gift of the registry for the shower and cash for a wedding gift.
No strong opinions about HM registries but I wouldn't give off it. At least by giving cash, the couple has a choice how to use it.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
@chelelyn
Read the stickied thread on top of the "knottie help" or the "Chit chat" page. I think it' explains it all there.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
It depends on your family, if the family that will give cash and that is tradion.Then fine with the honeyfund.com
If you do this honeyfund instead of the registery, then yes.
You can place it on your website only depending how formal your family is and please do not add to the invitation package.