Plus-Sized

Self conscious about arms :(

Hi everyone,

I absolutely love my dress! I love the way it looks on me and love every aspect of it...except for my arms. I have always had saggy arms, even at my heatlhiest. Even when I was in pretty good shape and played tennis non stop I had issues with my arms. I even hate wearing t-shirts unless they go down to at least my elbow.

The past few months I've been dieting and lifting weights (not heavy weights, just enough to tone) and haven't noticed any difference. I bought some of that anti-cellulite cream and even got a spray tan to see if it helped and still nothing.

I bought a lace bolero jacket to wear over my dress and even though it covers my arms, it really takes away from my dress and looks a little awkward with the different lace pattern than my dress has. I keep trying to stay positive and really want to go without the lace jacket but I can't get past my self consciousness. My wedding is in less than 2 months so I'm trying to figure out what to do. Just having a whiny moment I suppose lol

Re: Self conscious about arms :(

  • they say the shake weight is supposed to work really well. i have always had big arms too so i feel your pain 
  • Sweetie, everyone has some aspect of their body they are self conscious about!  You love your dress the way it is, don't change it!  No one is going to be sitting in their chair judging your arms!  You are going to look beautiful and you are marrying the love of your life and I'm sure he is going to think you are stunning!  Stop stressing about the negatives and concentrating on the positives, you're getting married, you found your perfect dress, you're celebrating with close family and friends and you get to spend the rest of your life with your love!!  =))))  Congrats and Good Luck!!!!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • <div>OP:  Sorry you haven't gotten the results you want with diet and exercise.  It would be nice if we could spot reduce but generally, the sites we wish were smaller at the last to shrink through a healthy diet.</div><div>
    </div><div>I was self conscious about my upper arms as well and found that my veil really helped with that.  It gave me a feeling of being covered without taking away from the dress.</div><div>
    </div><div>Then, just let your photog know that your arms aren't your favorite and ask that they minimize their exposure via no shots of you straight at your arms.</div><div>
    </div><div>Good Luck!</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_self-conscious-about-arms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:c7873ef8-63a0-4be8-85ac-a1466e0f1fb1Post:9dc44e88-45eb-4bb1-8717-abc6fb251364">Re: Self conscious about arms :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]they say the shake weight is supposed to work really well. i have always had big arms too so i feel your pain 
    Posted by tiffielynn91[/QUOTE]

    <div>Actually, doctors have determined that the shakeweight can actually be harmful as it causes a jarring/tensing in the neck while using it.</div><div>
    </div><div>plus it's pervy after having watched the South Park episode.</div>
  • You will be beautiful no matter what you choose to do. 
    My MOH had concerns about her upper arms too, we got a chiffon scarf, put it across her back and under her arms, and then attached it with a sparkly pendant.  It was just enough to make her feel confident, and looked like it actually came with the dress. 
  • Nobody likes having angel wing arms...me included.  The best thing that I have found to do is always stand with your arms just a little bit away from your body.  It keeps your muscles aware and taught and it also tends to "hide" the fattest part of my arms next to my body.  It makes a difference. 

  • I hate my arms. I have even had an arm tuck done after losing 196lbs. So now I have slightly smaller arms each with a big long scar on the underside. I am wearing a sheer bolero with my dress. Do I think people would point and comment if I didn't wear it, not at all. I am inviting my nearest and dearest to share the best day of my life. Would I be self concious and not feel like I am looking my best? Yes. So for me, a bolero works best. Hey maybe at some point during the night with all the dancing I will take it off, who knows. Etsy sells some lovely plus size bolero's and they do have sheer/solid ones in white or ivory in case you decide to go that route and the two different lace patterns are throwing you off.
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  • I hate my arms too. I usually keep them covered if I go some place nice. Do not worry about it. It is your big day and you will be so excited and happy you will forget about your arms!
  • I am dealing with the same issue... i'm so selfconcious of my arms that i even wore a 3/4 length cardigan in the middle of the California desert in August. I just ordered a sheer lace bolero off of etsy. It wasn't cheap, but the shop owner was able to design the bolero around the design of my dress. For me, the peace of mind knowing that my arms are being covered, was worth the extra money.
  • I ordered the lace bolero I have off of Etsy as well. It is beautiful, but does not go with my dress and cannot be returned (my dress came in way later than I was originally told and I bought my bolero to coincide with when my dress would be in so I could have it for my fitting).

    If you know anyone that is interested, I am selling it for $50. I paid $79 for it and of course, haven't worn it. It's ivory in color and is a size XL ( I wear an 18 and have broad shoulders and it fits me). Here is what it looks like:
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/76784724/34-sleeve-bridal-shrug-re-embroidered
  • Sadly, they is no way to spot check.  Don't buy into "easy fixes" you have been working out. are you just working your arms? if so that's a mistake.. your everything.. then it would come off.  It sounds as if you don't have time to really get your arms in shape.I used to have big arms as well... had the surgery done to take all of that away after going from 260 to 150. 2 pounds and 6 inches of skin off each arm. but my Dr. says... you must maintain a good workout.... a good diet.. they won't stay like that if i dont work at them. I love my amrs... scars.. i can barely see them!

    An early post says stand with your arms a little out. YUP that works.try tilting your elbow out so it looks natural. turn your body to the side, and put the arm that is pointing out back.. just a little bit. Yes i knonw all the tricks and trades of heavy arms...

    BUT MOST IMPORTART.. YOU WILL LOOK BEATUFUL.no worries about your arms. everyone will be looking at you.. your beauty, your smile, your happines.... arms...will not be noticed!
  • II've decided to spray tan I ALWAYS look better tanned. If you get airbrushed they can "define" the problem areas.


    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_self-conscious-about-arms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:c7873ef8-63a0-4be8-85ac-a1466e0f1fb1Post:bcf04d00-9351-4082-ae2d-15f7d8d6e6ba">Self conscious about arms :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone, I absolutely love my dress! I love the way it looks on me and love every aspect of it...except for my arms. I have always had saggy arms, even at my heatlhiest. Even when I was in pretty good shape and played tennis non stop I had issues with my arms. I even hate wearing t-shirts unless they go down to at least my elbow. The past few months I've been dieting and lifting weights (not heavy weights, just enough to tone) and haven't noticed any difference. I bought some of that anti-cellulite cream and even got a spray tan to see if it helped and still nothing. I bought a lace bolero jacket to wear over my dress and even though it covers my arms, it really takes away from my dress and looks a little awkward with the different lace pattern than my dress has. I keep trying to stay positive and really want to go without the lace jacket but I can't get past my self consciousness. My wedding is in less than 2 months so I'm trying to figure out what to do. Just having a whiny moment I suppose lol
    Posted by rkw0717[/QUOTE]
  • I'm 67 days away from my big day. I also have fat arms.
    I was just reading about spray tans, but I am concerned,
    does anyone know if the color rubs off? I don't want a
    brown or orange spray tan, rub off on my wedding dress.
    I

    soon to be D.A.B. 08/25/12 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I would be interested in it if you still have it for sale. Do you know the circumference of the arms?
  • i had issues with my arms as well. i had 2 boleros on my wedding day, but decided to go without. i asked my photographer to soften them because i have scarring from my eczema & fat arms and he understood. i havnt seen his pics yet, but honestly most non-pro pics actually looked pretty good. the boleros just took away from my dress & honestly it was hot enough already *LOL*  
    imageimageimage
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    blissing
  • I HATE my arms too! In my opinion I feel that wearing a cover up just makes them look big and draws more attention to them, but that's just me.  Like PP said it's your wedding day and you will be beautiful, no one will be worried about your arms.

    If you are still worried, It Works! Global has body wraps that you can use anywhere on your body.
    I'm only posting this on here because it really does work.  I have had several brides us these on their arms before their wedding and they loved them.  I wont go into to much detail because I don't want to sound like a sales person. But if you want more info on how to tone your arms message me or check out my facebook page at ItWorksLynchburg.

  • I hate showing my arms as well.  This was a major issue for me as I dress shopped as none of the designers seem to make dresses with sleeves these days. I knew this was a non-negotiable for me feeling good on the big day.  Thank God I had a wonderful seamstress at DB that was willing to work with me.  Everyone tried to sell me on a bolero but I am shaped like an inverted triangle and boleros make me look like a line backer.  I think a veil can definitely soften the appearance of the arms, but as a second time 46 year old bride I felt it was too much for me to wear a veil.  Ultimately I settled on adding sleeves.  The sleeves were intended to be worn up over the shoulder, but again this just emphasized my shoulders and made the sleeve stop just shy of the area of my arm that brings me the most angst.  I wanted to wear them off the shoulder which I felt made them younger, sexier and more romantic.  It required a willing and talented seamstress who was willing to experiment and add some elastic so that I could move my arms for hugs and dancing.  In the end I LOVE the way they turned out!  Here is the pic:

     

    Amy&Bert
  • Kennede, I love how you added the sleeves.  It looks very good on you!
  • Thanks!  I am hoping they don't scream "add-on", but even if they do I am not sure I care!  I went from a sense of anxiety about my dress, to a sense of calm the minute the sleeves went on.  I feel like I might be able to actually feel beautiful on my wedding day now!
  • you might be able to take the dress to a semstriss and see if she can add some sleeves to it. i went shoping for my dress with my mom sister and aunt we narrowed it down to 3 dresses that i liked but all strapless, one of them was a one shoulder and i am so in love with it if i purchase the gown i can get another strap for it. the back is high but we are going to add lace to the back and add a little more lace to the straps to make a cap sleeve thats if i get the dress. the owner of this small bridal shop was very helpful and showed me a dress that was already done for someone elses wedding with sleeves added on it. jackets can work well but only if its the right lace or fabric to go with your dress
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