Let's talk themes.

Gisellerina · June 2013

@ClaireyBee - I'm having a 1920s vintage wedding. My goal has been to make it a vintage rather than themed wedding. So I'm incorporating appropriate 1920s wedding antiques (my cake topper, headpiece, and wedding dress are all antiques circa 1920-1925). My florist is working from 1920s photographs to design the centerpieces and decorations (and hunting for antique 1920s vases to use for the centerpieces). My brass band will also be playing 1920s music. I researched popular menu items and drinks from the 1920s and then hired chefs and mixologists to modernize them a bit, so that the menu would still taste yummy to my guests. The main reason for the 1920s wedding is that FI fell in love with an 8 piece brass brand specializing in 1920s-1940s music and really wanted them as our wedding band. It just made sense to have a vintage reception with that kind of band. Also, neither of us wanted to do garter toss, bouquet toss, spotlight dances, etc. As far as I can tell, those things weren't part of 1920s weddings either.

Our wedding will be at a local country club, so the venue harmonizes with our ideas. Also, our hotel block for OOT friends and family is at a local resort operating since 1929. I couldn't find a 1920s limousine, so we're cheating and using one from 1939 - better than a stretch hummer at least!

I agree with pps that "themes" can be very prom-ish/birthday party-ish - I am not having a dress up in 1920s clothes photo booth, decorations incorporating 1920s famous people such as Al Capone, a bridal party dressed in flapper costumes, etc, because I consider all of those things "1920s themed" rather than "1920s vintage" and more suitable for proms.

I'm hoping my wedding turns out beautiful and old-fashioned, rather than themed. I will find out in a few weeks!

harper0813 · June 2013

I only like blatant themes around holidays. Like, a Christmas/winter themed wedding could be fun as long as it was mature and not cheesy. Halloween would be fun with pumpkins, candy apples, maybe even some COBWEBS of you're feeling spooky. But even those can be a little much. I think subtle "themes", like tying in aspects of your venue or seasonal colors/foods/flowers has a better effect.

I also don't mind 20s-themed weddings. I sort of wish we'd "dated" ours. Jenny Packham feels so 20s-glam to me. But it could easily get costly - it can look half-hearted unless you go all-out.

Gisellerina · June 2013

@zobird - Jenny Packham has so many beautiful dresses that feel 1920s to me too!! If I had to go with a contemporary designer, she definitely would have been it!! I also agree with the costs - some of the antique prices can give one sticker shock!! And, then there's the time factor - I've had to have replicas made of some things, like the guest book, because I just didn't have enough time to hunt down an antique guestbook in usable condition. I'm lucky enough to have a dear family friend who is an antique collector with a dealer's license, so she's able to verify authenticity and reasonableness of price for me - she's been extremely helpful.

lyndsay782 · June 2013

I am using my purple and gold/yellow colors as my primary theme, and a little bit of birds mixed in. Doves, love birds, whichever, and a bird cage for cards. My parents had a dove cake topper when they got married, and this is my little way of tying that in.

I mentioned that idea to FMIL, and now she is trying to go all out birds. It's like, "FMIL, the birds are an accent. I don't have to have everything tied to birds".

Back when I was going to serve hawaiian food (before I cut costs to add a day to the honeymoon) she was trying to convince me that they had to be hawaiian birds. Now I see where her son gets his need to match everything exactly colorwise.

You don't need a theme, but it does help when coordinating decor for small touches...

libby2483 · June 2013

I also don't think that themes are necessary, but if you are going to have a theme, I think it is best to do small touches than have the theme that permeates your entire wedding. For example, H and I are both English teachers. Our wedding didn't have a theme, but we did end up incorporating a few touches that represented us. For example, our centerpieces were books, with one book on each table being one of our favorite titles. We also had plastic sleeves with tassels so that people could turn their photo booth strips into bookmarks. We got a lot of compliments on these things, because they were reflective of our personalities without being too over-the-top. So, if you do decide to do a theme, make sure that it is something that reflects the two of you, as well as something that isn't completely overwhelming.

ravenray · June 2013

We didn't have a theme per say but our center pieces were books and the escort cards were like library cards. We are both huge readers. Everything else reflect my outrageous love for blue. I would pick a venue and see what colors work with that.

shilotony2012 · June 2013

Well, im having a theme. I love color so its kind of a rainbow theme. We are having seven different colors, each BM in a different color. The escort cards are on rainbow cardstock with a solid color attached to show what table they are at. Each table is labeled with a colored glitter cardstock in a nice frame. The table names are like Romantic Ruby, Wedding White, One and Only Orange, Passionate Purple. Chair sashes match each color. Every other chair will have one. The table cloth and chair covers are white to offset the colors. You get the idea. I just cant wait to see it all come to fruition!!!

JessBrasselina · June 2013

@ClaireyBee,

I must strongly disagree with the notion, that people think themes are silly.
Me and my friends we love themes, we always loved them -and NOT doing a theme at our wedding would have been strange.
And this is where I would go with it: listen to yourself and look, if YOU would like to have a theme!
This is your day, not a "wedding". Your day. point

Greetz,
Jess

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

I had a loose theme. We were married in a large, Creole-style building with a huge wrap-around porch which was surrounded by live oaks dripping with Spanish moss....it was BEGGING for elements of southern charm, which ended up being the "theme" we went with. Our invitations and my bouquet and the cake had magnolias as a recurring element. My dress was white seersucker. The fondant on the wedding cake was texturized to mimick seersucker as well. We had a jazz band during the ceremony and cocktail hour before switching to a DJ. Our recessional song was The Saints Go Marching In. Other than that, we just focused on good food, good drinks, and a good time. Our colors were blue (because that's my favorite) and white because white goes with everything. H wore an orange and blue striped tie because orange is his favorite color and that's what set him apart from the groomsmen.

shaylagirl · June 2013

JessBrasselina said:

@ClaireyBee,

This is your day, not a "wedding". Your day. point

Greetz,
Jess

...and, you know, it's also the GROOM's day too. His day. point. o.O

Also, on this particular day of THEIR lives, it IS a wedding (why is that in quotes, by the way?). Because, they're getting WED on that ONE particular day.

manateehugger · June 2013

NOLAbridealmost said:

I had a loose theme. We were married in a large, Creole-style building with a huge wrap-around porch which was surrounded by live oaks dripping with Spanish moss....it was BEGGING for elements of southern charm, which ended up being the "theme" we went with. Our invitations and my bouquet and the cake had magnolias as a recurring element. My dress was white seersucker. The fondant on the wedding cake was texturized to mimick seersucker as well. We had a jazz band during the ceremony and cocktail hour before switching to a DJ. Our recessional song was The Saints Go Marching In. Other than that, we just focused on good food, good drinks, and a good time. Our colors were blue (because that's my favorite) and white because white goes with everything. H wore an orange and blue striped tie because orange is his favorite color and that's what set him apart from the groomsmen.

See this is what I was getting at with "feels" and "motifs" - there is a way to incorporate ideas you like without going full on prom.

harper0813 · June 2013

JessBrasselina said:
@ClaireyBee,

I must strongly disagree with the notion, that people think themes are silly.
Me and my friends we love themes, we always loved them -and NOT doing a theme at our wedding would have been strange.
And this is where I would go with it: listen to yourself and look, if YOU would like to have a theme!
This is your day, not a "wedding". Your day. point

Greetz,
Jess

What? Could you explain your point better about how this isn't a wedding? That makes zero sense to me and I'm genuinely curious.

wittykitty14 · June 2013

Our "theme" is "hey, we're getting married!"

We picked our color scheme (blue and yellow) and went from that.

We've incorporated some elements of our personalities into the wedding. Not all of them are connected, but they tie into the idea that FI and I are the theme (if that makes sense). For example, FI and I met playing trombone, so our processional/recessional/reception entrance music is being played by a trombone quartet. FI is known as "Mario" from the video games and wears the hat all the time. As long as we can find one we like, Mario and Peach will be our cake topper. Our tables will be named after musical instruments. So it's all stuff that fits our personalities, but it won't be overpowering in any way.

Sierra524 · June 2013

I don't like themes either. We decided on two colors, Malibu blue and lime green. I love the bright colors. I also love gerbera daisies so we are using those in the decorating also. The cake will be white with green and blue gerbs on it. The tables will have white table cloths, with alternating lime and Malibu runners. The bouts and bouquets are gerbs. Our favors are hard tact candy in blue and green.

My point is, just pick some colors and decorate around that.

AddieCake · June 2013

All this time I thought J and I had a wedding. I had no idea all we had was a "my day."

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

AddieL73 said:

All this time I thought J and I had a wedding. I had no idea all we had was a "my day."

How are you going to break the news to him that not only was it only YOUR day, it was also not a "wedding"? point.

AddieCake · June 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

AddieL73 said:

All this time I thought J and I had a wedding. I had no idea all we had was a "my day."

How are you going to break the news to him that not only was it only YOUR day, it was also not a "wedding"? point.

With a cute saying or poem, of course!

MrsMack10612 · June 2013

@ellayoung - we used mismatched punch cups as well. Was a great idea and when the wedding was over, we donated them back to the thrift store.

amaryann210 · June 2013

I think I thought a lot more about this at the beginning of planning, then realized it's not that big a deal. FI and I got engaged at Mardi Gras, so we brought back beads, which I'm hoping to use as napkin rings. We settled on purple and peacock blue with ivory accents for colors and since peacocks are my favorite animal (with all kinds of meaningful symbolism for me), we'll use feathers as small accents in the centerpieces and have peacocks as our cake topper.

Peledreamsofrain · June 2013

I'm a middle of the road person about themes. If the couple has something very important and personal to them to have as a theme, as long as it's not overdone, go for it.

But if you are theme-ing just for theme's sake, that shades to amusement park/birthday party/David Tutera territory. It comes off forced, overdone, and garish because there's no heart or care to it. No meaning. If you don't care about the ocean, you don't know what about it is beautiful and touches the soul. Instead you just drape nets and dead crustaceans everywhere and it shows that it doesn't touch you.

gmcr78 · June 2013

We're not doing a theme, really. Our colors are black and red with damask and black lace details. We are getting married on Day of the Dead, so we're incorporating tiny touches of that: sugar skull cake toppers, white chocolate "sugar" skulls for favors, and on each guest's escort card there will be a specific color of sugar skull to indicate meal choice. Tiny touches, not a theme.

Jessa617 · June 2013

When I first started planning my wedding I was thinking casino and old style vegas. I wanted to incorporate a lot of italian things. It got to a point where I said to myself "Wait..what am I doing? This is my WEDDING, not a party!!". I toned it down and just went with a "color theme", red and black. I had some sparkles and rhinestones and a touch of feathers. It looked much better than trying to stick with an actual theme. I thank the powers that be that made me stop myself becasue if I went full out casino theme, it would have been a shit show. If you pick two (or three) colors, you can find everything you need in those colors.

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

Our wedding (sorry, MY DAY) will be tropical/ocean inspired. FI proposed on the beach in Maui. Our colors are pale blue and green. The wedding party, table cloths and uplighting will be these colors. The centerpieces will be vases of water (no fish, don't worry). That's it.

And I'm pretty sure the buffet will be Mexican food. Because I like Mexican food.

button6004 · June 2013

We have a very loose "tying the knot" theme. And by theme I mean our invites have a bow at the top and our cake will have a small bow on each layer. And my shoes have a bow. Just small random accents, we mostly want to highlight our colors.

pesematology · June 2013

thejucheidea said:

We're having Japanese and Buddhist things in our ceremony and reception

Ooh, I would love to have your input in my thread in Vows. I've always been interested in Buddhist takes on marriage, since it's the whole forming attachments/eschewing attachments thing.

katienjeff · June 2013

I'm also "middle of the road" person on themes. For us, we're doing a WWE wedding, because we met at a Wrestlemania pizza party and both love wrestling. I did everything in red, black, and white, with different accenting things. Like most everything is in colors, and then the main things are WWE inspired. I made our toasting glasses, unity candle, guest book, all the bouquets, and we're having a wrestling ring cake. It probably sounds dumb to other people, but we really wanted our wedding to express us, how we met, and that kind of thing. And we did our engagement party in just blues and greens with shell accents (because I love the ocean, I used to live right near it.) and we're having that as a small get-together/cookout in our backyard so our families can get acquainted and have a good time. But I love the idea of doing just colors too- if a "theme" or whatever doesn't stand out to you, just go with colors you like. I've seen the most beautiful pictures of red, blue, and pink weddings on this site. Say if you did red and black, maybe you could accent with pearls and lace, or pink and diamonds. Or maybe rustic colors, with accents of like hemp macrame stuff with yellow and green.

And whoever had the casino/mardi gras- that sounds awesome!

kerbohl · June 2013

I'm doing a medieval theme, since I almost have my RMA in Medieval Studies (final meeting on Friday - hooray!) and we met through the Medieval Studies program at our university. Also, the two of us already have a ton of medieval decor, so it is cheaper and personal because we are using our own stuff to make the medieval theme present. But the plan right now for the theme is mainly decor, invitations, and little touches in the attire to make it medieval. Everything else is traditional wedding.

My suggestion to you, OP, is to think really hard about who you and FI are as a couple, and have something that speaks either to your personalities or to how you met. It should be something that people who know you will instantly understand, or that can be made clear by a quick note somewhere. So if you travel, you have small touches of a travel theme. If neither of you have ever left the country, a travel theme is not something that is easily understood or says anything about you.

katienjeff · June 2013

@kerbohl- that sounds so cool! I think it's awesome when people do more meaningful, expressive weddings. I know the foo-foo isn't that's important, but nobody in my family has had a traditional wedding since like 1982. So in that case it's really exciting to be princess for a day. lol.

Bubblegum5586 · June 2013

The first thing we picked was royal blue as our wedding color (its both our fav color, looks great with our blue eyes AND it was our College color - we started dating freshman year). Then I needed an accent color.... I wanted something a little different then what I normally see with blue and we ended up picking an apple green color. I loved these colors together (accented with Ivory) nice and bright like I wanted!

Everything snowballed from there. So now green apples are our inspiration. Which I feel is perfect because we are having a september wedding in New England and WE LOVE APPLES! I really love it because the date is technically on the last day of summer (sept 21) so its summer colors with a fallish theme, a nice connection from one season to the next.

For apples stuff - we are having hard cider, apple crisp for dessert, our favors are green apple candles, and our center pieces are green apples in large vases (all different shapes and sizes for each table). And the stationary has either a green apple or a tree with green apples on it.

NonosGirl · June 2013

FI and I are using our love of beer as inspiration for our wedding. We love craft beers and going to local breweries so we eventually decided that it would be something we wanted to incorporate into our wedding. I was all over the place at first as well but because of timing and the venue we fell in love with the beer thing seemed to fit. It won't be over the top "beer themed" but I'm sure it will be clear to our guests that we love beer.

Let's talk themes.

Re: Let's talk themes.

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