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First meeting with the priest

tammym1001tammym1001 member
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in Catholic Weddings
I'm not Catholic, but my FI is and we are getting married in his church. We have our first meeting with the priest this weekend to discuss the wedding. What can I expect?
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Re: First meeting with the priest

  • Jessica41381Jessica41381 member
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    I'm not Catholic either but my fiancé is. When we did out first meeting we discussed our wedding date, filled out a paper with some personal info(address, religion, parents religion, etc.) then we set an appointment to take the foccus, and that was it!
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
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    Depends on the priest, but it's likely you won't actually be discussing the wedding at the first meeting. More talk about marriage prep
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    Thanks ladies! Even though my FI is Catholic he isn't really sure how the process works to get married in the church so I have no idea what to expect.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    agapecarrie said:
    Depends on the priest, but it's likely you won't actually be discussing the wedding at the first meeting. More talk about marriage prep
    This.  You might complete an interview ensuring that you are free to marry (no previous marriages, no one's pressuring you, etc.).  They might also give you a test called "FOCCUS."  It's not a "test" in the sense that one can fail it, it's just designed to point out any areas the church feels are important to successful marriages where you and your FI might differ widely in opinions.

    It's important to be open and honest the whole time.  Since you are not Catholic, if you have reservations about anything, bring them up.  The priest can help to soothe your concerns.  It should go really smoothly.  Congratulations!
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  • itzMSitzMS member
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    Make sure to know your parent's full names, birth dates, and their religious preferences.

    I know this seems silly, but DH was totally caught off guard (he doesn't have his parents' details committed to memory)

    Our priest also asked for all of our educational and work details, as well as any religious education we've had.

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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    Luckily I know all of that information for both of us because FI would probably blank out on that.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    tammym1001 said:
    Luckily I know all of that information for both of us because FI would probably blank out on that.
    Haha, make sure and remind him -- sometimes they separate you before you do the "freedom to marry" interview.  We weren't separated but the pastoral associate kept getting on to me because I was helping DH answer the questions.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    TXKristan said:
    It's probably a good thing that he's not an expert in marriage prep ;).  The first meeting with our priest was over lunch.  Some people have a first meeting with the "freedom to marry" interviews (ours was towards the end).  

    @Agapecarrie is right - it varies from priest to priest.  If he needs you to bring something like baptism certificate, he'll let you know.

    That's very true. LOL We're actually having lunch with the priest as our first meeeting too, but we are picking him up at the rectory so I assumed we would talk there before or after lunch also.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    In that case, you might just be having a nice lunch.  =)  We invited our priest over for dinner and expected it to be all-wedding-all-the-time, but he never brought up the wedding until after dinner was finished and cleared away, and even then it was almost like an afterthought.  It's going to be awesome if he can actually get to know you as more than just parishoners.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    So we met with the priest yesterday for lunch. It was really nice. He already knows my FI really well so he spent some time getting to know me and we talked about what kind of wedding we want and we set the date with the church. He said we'll get together in the fall to do everything else. Yay!
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