How do I keep myself calm and avoid bouncing all over the place?

Re: How do I keep myself calm and avoid bouncing all over the place?

• KatWAG member

  

  June 2013

  I think you are completely normal. But remember that no one will be as excited about your wedding as you (except maybe your Fi) so keep wedding talk to a minimum with friends.

  Start by setting your budget and an approx. guest list. There is no sense in looking at places that are too small or super expensive.

  I phsically went to 7-10 venues before I decided. But I looked at a bunch more online.

  

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• winelover123 member

  

  June 2013

  Completely normal. I only visited two venues and then our guest list went up and one was out. Visit all three that you like and see if there are any restrictions with catering and such. It doesn't really matter which order you visit them in.
  

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• AprilH81 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  We have a budget already and a pretty good idea of guest list and all of the venues would work.  The smallest venue (and on the surface the least expensive)  is my least favorite of my top 3 but that may be the best bank for our buck.  

  
  

  Thanks for the reassurances, I'm sure once I get a venue and date locked down I will be able to focus more.  I think it is all of the options that is distracting me.  I normally have a very easy time making decisions, but I think I may be starting to buy into the industry hype.  I need to stop.  lol

  
  

  I'm trying not to get my heart set on specific decor ideas until we have a venue just in case it ends up not fitting the space.  I'm not sure how successful I am going to be at that.  I saw a beatuiful centerpiece today that I want to replicate.  It was a tall clear square vase filled with pine cones and tree branches.

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  June 2013

  Totally normal!  I was kind of all over the place at first, too, trying to decide what I was really wanting. And I also had an aunt who kept making suggestions that would get me off in other directions as well. 

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• AprilH81 member

  

  June 2013

  
  

  AddieL73 said:

  Totally normal!  I was kind of all over the place at first, too, trying to decide what I was really wanting. And I also had an aunt who kept making suggestions that would get me off in other directions as well. 

  
  

  
  

  My sister is giving me ideas too.  I'm lucky that she has good taste and our vision is similar.    She is excited to help me start crafting...

  

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• harper0813 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  Sounds like how I felt, which I hope is normal, too! I spent the first month thinking and organizing and making lists and I actually got some things like the venue, early guest list, florist and DOC taken care of that first month so that the following months were easy and I could sit back and enjoy being engaged. I don't think it hurts to get a couple things out of the way. But be careful not to overwhelm your fiancé.

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• Peaseblossom55 mod

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  I waited a month after being engaged to start planning. I felt so overwhelmed at first.  We put together a guest list, then we met with the church for date. After that I felt a bit crazy. I emailed close to 30 venues and eliminated some based on price, date availabilty, we only went to see 5 before we chose.  The venue was the biggest deal now we are working on a photographer, I figure each month we can tackle something new. I do the research and go over them with FI and from there we meet with vendors.  We have a new house so FI is focused on the house at the moment and I am wedding focused we spend time during the week discussing each of our plans and goals with each other and it seems to work.

  Spreadsheets have become my new best friend.

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2013

  Congratulations! I was like that, too. Best things you can do is make a plan and stay organized.

  
  

  We actually never saw our venue until a few months ago. It was new and under construction when we booked it (and busy! we didn't even get our 1st or 2nd date choice over a year in advance). We looked at the specs and liked it. It was a risk but we couldn't be happier with how it turned out.

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• erinlin25 member

  

  June 2013

  I was all over the place too and planned the wedding in 9 months from when we got engaged to our wedding date, so I definitely feel you on the feeling of needing to get the ball rolling.  Reality is there are so many different options that would be beautiful--so you need to talk with your FI and figure out what is important to you and go from there.  If you change your mind constantly, stop looking at alternatives once you make up your mind.  Make a decision and move on.  While I can be indecisive, once I make the decision I am happy with it and can "keep looking" without second guessing, but I know that is not always easy for everyone.  Always remember there are hundreds of pretty dresses, fabulous venues and good vendors--find the one you love, stay confident with your decision and move on to your next task or you will drive yourself crazy!
  
  Before looking at anything, you need to set a budget so you can set your tentative guest list-- and then you need to get a venue so you can confirm the date.  I looked at about 10 different venues online first and then I narrowed it down to look at 3 with my FI.  We liked visit #1; hated #2 so looked into #1 more, held a date and when we went to our details meeting to sign the contract-- we HATED it.  Outside was lovely; inside was nothing special and the food was not good.  Back to the drawing board,  I then went to venue #3 another weekend with my sister in law to be and it was instant LOVE.  Set up a time to get more details and it was a done deal that was the place for us.  Confirmed the date (had to change the original date as ours was taken) signed the contract and I stopped looking at venues.  
  
  The rest of planning went at a similar pace. I spread my own things to do so it worked for me, not some list online making me feel like I was way behind schedule.  I researched vendors recommended by my venue.  They recommended them so if I met them and I liked them I booked them and moved on.  I met a total of 1 photographer, 1 florist, 1 DJ and 1 Baker...our wedding day was perfect. 
  
  Some people like to meet a bunch of people before making a final decision.  Others like me, that just makes it confusing.  So I did not drive myself nuts.  I definitely recommend using preferred vendors from your venue if you have that option-- they are preferred for a reason, so you can rest easy knowing they have all worked the venue before and can work together well.  Of course if you meet someone and it does not feel right, then yes, meet the next person.  But if you meet them and like them-- seal the deal.
  
  Good luck and happy planning.  It can easily be done in 9 months.
  

  
  
  
  

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