RSVP mail/online combo

Re: RSVP mail/online combo

• libby2483 member

  

  June 2013

  I'm a little confused. Are you proposing that guests can indicate whether or not they are attending on a paper RSVP, but the only way guests could choose their meal option is online? If so, yes, that is odd.

  
  

  I would skip the online option and have people RSVP using traditional paper cards.  We gave guests the option RSVP using paper and online methods, and only about 10 percent of our guests used the online option.  If you need to know which guest is eating what, do something like the following.

  
  

  Please reply by the twentieth of June

  
  

  M _________________________________

  
  

  ______ Accepts

  
  

  ______ Regrets

  
  

  Please initial each guest's entree choice:

  
  

  ______ Chicken

  
  

  ______ Beef

  
  

  ______ Vegetarian

  
  

  All of this information will fit on a standard RSVP card, so I think that's really your best bet.

  
  

  Also, I'm curious as to why there would be six people on an invitation that would then not be seated together.  Anyone 18 and over should receive their own invitation, even if that means sending more than one invitation to a household.

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• AddieCake member

  

  June 2013

  Yes, it's very odd that 6 people who receive the same invitation would not be at the same table, b/c that would mean at least 4 of them are children. 

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• MeganLAnderson member

  

  June 2013

  I understand that adults 'should'  (according to American standards) get their own invitation, but many of my finance's single adult cousins told me to just include them with their parent's invitation when I asked for their personal addresses.  My fiancé's family is all first and second generation Americans and have a completely different set of norms for wedding etiquette.

  
  

  The format libby2483 listed is what I would prefer, but some of the invitations that I like only have room for seven lines.  I guest 'accepts' and 'regrets' could share a line.

  
  

  This leads to a secondary question:  I'm not sure whether to make children's meal option or just assume that everyone under a certain age will have it.  I'd also like to keep track of babies that are coming but not eating because I want to make sure they have enough room.  I attended a wedding reception recently where I sat at a table with a few babies and kids that didn't have their own chair spot and we were all tripping over each other, the highchairs, and the kid's bags because they only counted the adults when creating the seating chart.  My first thought was to include spots for this on the Response card too, but it is irrelevant for two-thirds of the invitations.

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• libby2483 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  MeganLAnderson said:

  I understand that adults 'should'  (according to American standards) get their own invitation, but many of my finance's single adult cousins told me to just include them with their parent's invitation when I asked for their personal addresses.  My fiancé's family is all first and second generation Americans and have a completely different set of norms for wedding etiquette.

  
  

  The format libby2483 listed is what I would prefer, but some of the invitations that I like only have room for seven lines.  I guest 'accepts' and 'regrets' could share a line.

  
  

  This leads to a secondary question:  I'm not sure whether to make children's meal option or just assume that everyone under a certain age will have it.  I'd also like to keep track of babies that are coming but not eating because I want to make sure they have enough room.  I attended a wedding reception recently where I sat at a table with a few babies and kids that didn't have their own chair spot and we were all tripping over each other, the highchairs, and the kid's bags because they only counted the adults when creating the seating chart.  My first thought was to include spots for this on the Response card too, but it is irrelevant for two-thirds of the invitations.

  Yeah, I guess if you've checked with your cousins and asked their address, and this is their preference, it doesn't hurt to follow their wishes.  Etiquette is about accommodating your guests, so it would be odd if you kept insisting they give you their address.  I had a few cousins like this as well. 

  
  

  When I was creating our RSVP card on Wedding Paper Divas, there wasn't enough room to include all of the RSVP options.  I just put a note that I needed to add one more line, and when they did my invitations, they added it for me. I approved it in the proof before ordering.  So, many companies will work with you to play around with the layout a bit.

  
  

  Also, I would put the kid's meal option on there, and not assume that everyone under a certain age will get the kid's meal.  My uncle ordered his two-year-old son top sirloin, and his four-year-old daughter chicken.  We also had a couple of kids select the vegetarian meal.  My fourteen year-old-cousin got the kid's meal chicken strips.  I would just let people decide, rather than assume.  Our RSVP card looked like what I suggested above, with a children's meal as the fourth option.

  
  

  I wouldn't include anything about babies coming but not not eating on the RSVP.  If someone with a small baby RSVPs, and it is unclear it the baby will be coming/eating/whatever, just call them to clarify.  I agree it is a good idea to have chairs for the babies, even if they won't be eating.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  June 2013

  I would use "initial next to preferred entree" so that you know who wants what.

  
  

  I agree that if an adult cousin specifically requested that you include them on their parents' invitation that you should respect their wishes, but for those that didn't, send individual invitations like normal.  For those, I would consider doing individual RSVP cards for each adult child, even in the same invitation.  You could pre-fill their names so that they aren't confused.  You will probably have a fair number of families where the parents and adult children don't all have the same RSVP.  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2013

  If your adult cousins want you to use their parents' address, could you mail a separate invitation addresses to them? Might make this less confusing. Libby's RSVP format is a good idea.

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• OtterJ member

  

  June 2013

  Having the option to either RSVP via the mail, or online is great, but you need to make each option complete....meaning, people need to choose to RSVP using one OR the other.  Make your RSVP cards complete with all needed information  (Have them initial the meals that they want, etc.), and then have an online option that lets them chose which meal each person wants.
  
  It will be too much of a hassle to have people RSVP through the mail, but then go online to select their meal option.  You will end up getting a lot of incomplete information. 
  
   I didn't use a mail-in option, but did have my guests RSVP online through my wedding website that I created on the knot.  I didn't have a meal option, but the website did provide a meal option that I could use if I wanted to. 
  

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