MIL doesn't like how I want people to walk down the aisle...please help.

Re: MIL doesn't like how I want people to walk down the aisle...please help.

• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2013

  Sorry, but you're already married-it happened when you "signed the papers."  That was your "wedding," regardless of the lack of your extended family, a big white dress, attendants, and a big party to follow.
  
  You do not get another "wedding" on top of that.  What you are planning is a "vow renewal" or "celebration" but it is not your "wedding."
  
  That said, if your MIL (she is not your FMIL, by the way) doesn't want your husband to walk with your mother, and she's paying for this event, this wouldn't be my hill to die on.
  

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• ladybug278

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  Just to clarify, this ceremony is worded as a celebration of our marriage and a vow renewal. Yes 3 years is short of doing a major one like at 10 years, but it fits for our family right now. No where does it say wedding and we have not once referred to it as such. I just worded it like that here because I figured it would be easier to understand. I never knew what a PPD was...
  Anyway we are not registering or doing any 'firsts' like you would normally do at a real wedding because this is not in fact a wedding. Sorry for miswording my original post.
  Thanks for the advice as far as MIL, yes not FMIL because she is already my mother in law, she will be walking with DH, as in dear husband because we are already married. My mom, as in the person who gave birth to me, will be walking with my brother. My FIL, and not FFIL because he is already my father in law because yes...I am already married, will be standing up there already as the officiant.
  Thanks for the advice. All I wanted were opinions on how people walk down the aisle, and although most of the other posts made me feel like sh*t, I did decipher the answer to my question.

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• ladybug278

  

  June 2013

  Yes, we are having some things done that would normally happen at a wedding because when we got married we didn't have a typical ceremony. We not only want to honor our marriage and recommit to our vows but also want to honor those friends and family who are close to us.
  
  And no...I was not 'scolded' but good grasping of words there.
  
  Again thank you to the people who actually had something productive to say. Since we didn't originally walk down the aisle during our wedding ceremony I wasn't sure of the proper etiquette but now I have a good understanding of how it is usually done.

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2013

  NM86 said:

  Yes, we are having some things done that would normally happen at a wedding because when we got married we didn't have a typical ceremony. We not only want to honor our marriage and recommit to our vows but also want to honor those friends and family who are close to us.
  
  And no...I was not 'scolded' but good grasping of words there.
  
  Again thank you to the people who actually had something productive to say. Since we didn't originally walk down the aisle during our wedding ceremony I wasn't sure of the proper etiquette but now I have a good understanding of how it is usually done.

  I realize you're calling this a vow renewal and I'm glad you didn't say "wedding" on anything. But honestly having bridesmaids (you're not a bride, you're a wife) and groomsmen (he's not a groom, he's a husband) and other truly wedding specific elements is indicative of a PPD. If you want to renew your vows and have a fun reception/get-together with family and friends, by all means it would be very special for you two and for them. 

  
  

  People aren't trying to rip you a new one here. They're just trying to help you avoid a huge etiquette faux pas and something that, no matter how special you try to make it, could be construed as a theatrical dress-up event that lessens the meaning of the vows you took when you became husband and wife (when your intent is exactly the opposite). We all know you don't want that and people are just trying to help you see that perspective. And in my book, that IS productive. 

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• artbyallie mod

  

  June 2013

  
  

  NM86 said:

  Yes, we are having some things done that would normally happen at a wedding because when we got married we didn't have a typical ceremony. We not only want to honor our marriage and recommit to our vows but also want to honor those friends and family who are close to us.
  
  And no...I was not 'scolded' but good grasping of words there.
  
  Again thank you to the people who actually had something productive to say. Since we didn't originally walk down the aisle during our wedding ceremony I wasn't sure of the proper etiquette but now I have a good understanding of how it is usually done.

  
  You chose not to do those things when you got married. It is inappropriate to do them now. And the proper etiquette is to not have a pretend wedding.

  

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  June 2013

  Maybe me and FI won't actually get married at our ceremony in October. We'll do the big dress, I'll be the center of attention, and it will be SO SPECIAL! Then 3 years from now we'll sign the paperwork and become husband and wife.
  
  
  Because that makes sense?!!
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• QueerFemme member

  

  June 2013

  Honestly, your MIL is paying for a good portion of this fake PPD.  Let her do cartwheels down the aisle or walk with whomever and however she wants to.

  

  Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  June 2013

  I'm just going to ignore the whole issue of a fake second wedding because PPs have addresses that.
  
  I'm surprised so many posters think its unusual for the groom to walk his MIL down the aisle. Two of the three weddings I've been to have been done exactly as the OP described - groom walks both the MOG (with FOG following behind) and the MOB. My own wedding and my mother's wedding was done that way as well. I believed that was traditional.

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