Wedding Shower Guests

SP29 · June 2013

My MOH is throwing me a bridal shower and we are discussing the guest list. This is a ladies friends and family shower.

As I understand, guests invited to the shower are guests who will be invited to the wedding. My fiance and I are inviting a small number of extended family members from his side of the family whom I have never met, some of whom my fiance has not seen in many years.

Should I be inviting them to the shower as well?

Kate61487 · June 2013

Not necessary. All shower guests must be invited to the wedding; not all wedding guests must be invited to the shower.

I would probably ask fmil, though, if she thinks they should be invited / if they would be hurt to be excluded. (only if there is room on the guest list, of course)

AddieCake · June 2013

I agree with Kate. You don't have to invite EVERY woman invited to the wedding, but when it comes to family members, it's best to double-check so you don't accidentally create drama.

misssunshine17 · June 2013

Ditto PPs. I roll my eyes when I'm invited to someones shower that I'm not really close with. Just invite those who you are close with, unless it'll create a big blow up.

SP29 · June 2013

Thanks!

My Fiance agrees with me about not inviting members from his side I've never met, but my mom thought I should invite EVERYONE.

I'll have a chat with his mom though first to be sure

midgetp23 · June 2013

We are in the exact same situation! My MIL is suggesting that we invite EVERY woman we are inviting to the wedding, but some of my fiances family he hasnt seen in a very long time and are from his dads side of the family. When we turned the guest list over to our MIL to send her side of the invitations, she had a fit! We just dont see it necessary to invite them to the shower.

BangBangs39 · June 2013

I would invite them - especially since you've never met them. It would give you a good opportunity to interact prior to wedding day.

cwaggoner07 · June 2013

I agree - with family I think you need to spread the shower circle a little wider. But definitely discuss with other family members - they may feel horribly slighted if they're not at least extended an invitation.

xxstardust · June 2013

Maybe it's regional, because I know that there has been (in my area at least) a whole lot of side-eyeing brides who "snub" FI's family by not inviting them to showers.

PetKatSold2011 · June 2013

In short...no. Make it about yourself/your FI and people you WANT to invite. My FI is American so he figured it would all be women and most of my friends anyway....BUT my mother thinks I should invite the women AND men from my side of the family (uncles etc) because it's the "omg what if they feel left out" mentality (My family is South American, having a Bridal Shower isn't apart of our tradition to begin with). I had decided to just invite close female friends, my aunts and a couple females that my FI is excited to introduce me to (not guilted or forced to invite) along with our fathers and bridal party (including groomsmen primarily to talk about bachelor party plans and to make it about my fiance also not just myself). For the wedding we are inviting alot of people, some we aren't even close to. The Bridal Shower is to have a nice time and play some games with the people we are closest to and who would appreciate being there. I don't think Bridal Showers are everyones thing (what would a 60 year old uncle of mine want to do wrapping someone in toilet paper, lol). Also if it's someone your close to, it's not about the gifts you recieve nor is it about them spending the money for it (a stranger might just think of it as an expense to a stranger). I don't expect anything big, just want to gather and have a great time. We figure, we are already throwing a lavish event for the entire family to come together....we wanted the shower to be an intimate event celebrate getting our house together and hanging out/introducing guests and friends to each other. Ultimately....you do what you want to do...Also, not sure how your family is but regardless, you won't be able to make everyone happy. For me to pay for a plate for someone I don't know along with them coming to a wedding can be pricey...to you and your FI, not only the person coming as a guest to the wedding. If your FI wants you to meet someone before the wedding then its a different story. It's about the both of you...the wedding is about the both of you also but lets face it, alot of it is for other people...at least take the chance and keep something for yourself. Sorry for the longwinded speach lol.

SP29 · June 2013

Thanks for the replies.

The shower is actually a "Best Wishes" shower only. At first I wasn't going to have a shower at all, but I live out of province from my family and some of my friends (including my MOH), and my MOH wanted to do something nice and get everyone together for a nice afternoon.

I talked to FMIL and are going to invite some extended family members she thought appropriate.

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