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jbouchard10132012
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Charity Donation
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We are donating to Make A Wish Foundation rather than favors... I think Make A Wish isn't political or religiose so shouldn't bother anyone (who doesn't want to help fulfill wished of children that are battling life threatening illnesses)... Our programs mention that our ceremony is in remembrance of my mom, brother and fiancee's aunt & by the guest book table my idea was to have a picture of each, then a little blurb of we donated to this this charity blurb.... I just have no clue what to say in the blurb... Do I put why this charity is important to us (my brother actually received make a wish) or do I put what the charity does for those that don't know... or do i just put "In lieu of favors we have made a donation to Make A Wish Foundation" and leave it at that?
Thanks for your help and I have already made the donation I ONLY need advise on what the blurb should say.
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Re: Charity Donation
Well, pin a rose on your nose. Sheesh.
Out of curiousity, why can't you and your FI just be happy with making the donation in private? Why must you display in a public fashion that you donated to charity? At most,I would put a small frame (5x7) by the guest book with a statement in it that says "Bride and Groom have made a donation to the Make-a-Wish Foundation" If someone wants to ask you about it, they can.
I would also suggest skipping the pictures on a memory table. Your wedding is supposed to be a happy event, not a memorial service. Seeing the pictures can (and will) make some of your guests sad.
if you must advertise that you and your future husband are so fabulous and made a donation to the charity, do the small frame. You don't need a blurb, or any other announcement. It will come off as AWish and look at me... look at how amazing and generous we are.
And for the record, just because MakeAWish isn't religious or political, doesn't mean people support it. A lot of organizations aren't political or religious and they still piss away a lot of their donation money on administrative costs. People have a lot of different reasons for not supporting charities. this is why this is generally such a bad idea.
Why can't you just be happy that you supported the organization? Why do you have to make it about your wedding?
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
There is no way to convey a "We donated to charity rather than give you a favor" message to your guests that doesn't come off as AW-ish and "Look what wonderful, generous, people we are not to give you something instead!"
Also, there are lots of threads on this, but most people aren't keen on weddings used as awareness raisers. It's not the time for a spiel of any kind about who you think is "in need" or "less fortunate" or any kind of preaching that doesn't come from the officiant.
I think you're doing an awesome thing. Why spend money on something people will toss or sit on a shelf, collecting dust. For all these ladies saying it's self centered, I counter with- isn't it is MORE "look at me" to give someone a little plastic something with your names or faces plastered all over it? Seriously? Honestly, I'd rather do something special in honor of our loved ones that are no longer with us, in honor of the good-hearted nature of our family and friends. I say, post a simple message conveying "in lieu of gifts, we have made a donation to XYZ charity, one that has always been near to our hearts and important in the lives of our loved ones. we thank you for being a part in this contribution that will bring happiness to the lives of others, just as they did for <name here>" or something like that. A donation to any charity, supporting any cause that's helping others isn't about YOU, but that doesn't mean you can't bring attention to it and pass along the feeling of joy brought about by supporting others. Not to mention the fact that you have a direct relation to this charity, as do your family and friends. Honoring your lost loved ones through pictures and memories is a beautiful way to keep them alive in your hearts at the wedding. Not only are you helping others by giving a donation in honor of lost ones at your wedding, but your even bringing attention to these special people and happy memories. That's not selfish, that's selfless. And sentimental thoughts will be on your mind as well as your guests as you miss those who cannot be there, so i think it's very sweet of you to remember them and honor them in such a special way. Lucky for you jbouchard, the guests at your wedding will likely be much kinder in heart and much less narrow-minded than the women on these boards.
Whoa! Well look at you! TOS out the window. @knotporscha
@auberl88
To the first bolded, not a single regular poster here would ever suggest personalized favors. So your rash generalization is incorrect.
To the second bolded, what you state is completely contradictory. If you go about telling everyone you've donated to a charity...that does in fact make it about YOU. Look how thoughtful and generous WE are. If you choose to donate to charity, that is awesome, but it should be kept private.
To the third bolded...again, you contradict yourself. Happy memories and missing someone who can't be there do not go hand in hand. Having pictures of the deceased can an will stir up sadness in a lot of guests.
itzMS, you're right no one mentioned personalized favors but that's the norm nowadays. So I appoligize for anyone offended by my "rash" generalization.
But here's where I have a problem... it is the bride's Mother and Brother, and groom's aunt that they are remembering... not some second cousin no one can remember or an older "life-well-lived" grandparent... Whatever she and her fiance decide are respectful and hertfelt ways to honor those people are their choices. I will not get into a philosophical discussion about altruism. I will not remind anyone about loss and grief of loved ones, how everyone handles these situations differantly. But I will say I stand by my statements of the couple honoring their lost loved ones in whatever ways they feel those people would deserve and be proud of them for.
The only question she asked was about what to say and how to say it, and that should be the only replies given to this post...
So.....you don't think she was nice, and that's not ok in your book, but you get to insult her marriage, and that IS ok? Hmmmm.
OP, I'd leave indications of giving to charity out for reasons PPs said. If you feel that you must include a little blurb about it, I'd put it either in the program or with the guest book. Something short and sweet will suffice, "In lieu of favors, Bride and Groom have donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation in remembrance of loved ones."
Don't use "in lieu of favors".
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
At a wedding I went to, there was something similar to this written in the honor of the bride's mother to a music for children foundation:
With loving thoughts and fond memories today of Janice Beck and her love of children, a donation to Make a Wish was made in her honor.
It was discreet in the program. She also used music notes as accents in honor of her mother. Her bouquet had some sheet music ribbon tied around it...that kind of thing.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
I know this asshat got banned, but just in case anyone else is taking this serious. I make lots and lots and lots of donations to causes I find valuable. I just didn't feel the need to advertise them at my wedding.
No one here EVER says "oh, DON'T make a donation to a charity you love and support". They are saying. Sure, give as much money as you wannna. Shit, elope and give your entire wedding budget to your charity. We don't care. But, don't make some big announcement about it.
None of have any vested interest in what anyone else does for their wedding. what we are doing you is giving you blunt, honest opinions. And you can be certain that at least some of your guests will feel the same way, but they won't have the heart to tell you.
And, @auberl88 -- plastic trinkets, shot glasses, mugs, with your name & date on them suck. No one here recommends those. It's one thing to give someone a lil edible in a bag or box with a label on it, it's another thing to expect someone to drink out of a cup with your name & date on it for the next decade .
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Also, ARC is the designated affiliation in the US of the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, which consists of 188 different Societies (i.e., it's financial and organizationally separate).
If you want your donation to go to your local chapter you can indicate so on your check and it will be honored. You can also designate to other specific causes, such as the relief effort in Moore, OK, or Sandy (which is still ongoing), or whatever.