yo lurkers

hmonkey · June 2013

now that we have thoroughly picked apart jarednmegan's relationship, i ask each and every one of you:

have you pulled credit reports?

kryan32 · June 2013

FI and I both had pretty mediocre credit (mid 500s) when we started living together. 5 years and a lot of hard work later we're both up in the 700s. We also have savings accounts and a much more stable financial future together than we did when we were alone...

zizibet · June 2013

No, don't need to.

CarolinaHeart · June 2013

zizibet said:

No, don't need to.

Can I ask what makes you 'not need to?'

CarolinaHeart · June 2013

FI's is pretty awesome and I have none at all. "/

RoseofOrion · June 2013

FI has good credit; I have none.

CarolinaHeart · June 2013

FI's is pretty awesome and I have none at all. "/

zizibet · June 2013

I was upfront with FI about mine when we got serious. He's only had problems the last few years because of 2 layoffs in a row and several months of unemployment, and I know all about that.

kiddodarling · June 2013

It never occurred to me to do that. However, I took over the finances for the both of us the second we were engaged cause I'm a control freak and a bit of a scrooge. As a result, though, I'm pretty sure H has no clue when anything is due or how much money we have and he would no longer survive without my financial skills.

hmonkey · June 2013

y'all don't seem to understand the different between a credit report and a credit rating. i don't mean the rating -- i mean the full financial history, and not just someone telling you, "yeah, i had some bills."

not to get all reagan on you, but for serious -- "trust, but verify."

ReturnOfKuus · June 2013

We did! It's one of those things you kind of need to do before buying a house.

hmonkey · June 2013

low five for @returnofkuus for doing this, high five for not being homeless just for the experience!

NerdyLucy · June 2013

Technically, I have not pulled his credit report on my own, but we own a house together so we got each other's histories there. No skeletons in the closets, so to speak.

What we found out is what we already knew. We've been together since the start of our adult credit history, pretty much, so there were no surprises.

Gisellerina · June 2013

No, like @zizebet, no need to.

ETA: Our prenup process has involved a very detailed asset (both encumbered and unencumbered) and liability disclosure process. Also, we've both recently undergone background and credit checks for professional licensing and work (around the time we started dating). Were it not for those things, then yes, reviewing credit reports definitely would have been part of the engagement process.

ReturnOfKuus · June 2013

hmonkey said:

low five for @returnofkuus for doing this, high five for not being homeless just for the experience!

I really wish there were a way to get you and Dumpster Dave to meet, and get it all on video.

AMS482 · June 2013

Yup! After I moved in with him when we started discussing the future, he asked to see my credit report.His credit report was spotless. I showed him mine. He said he wouldn't marry into bad debt so I busted my butt to clean it up and he eventually popped the question. No one should marry bad debt at all. Ever.

Ven&Radio · June 2013

We bought a house together prior to getting engaged, so we have seen each others credit report/history.

zizibet · June 2013

I do understand the difference-but we were really upfront with each other when we got serious.

entropicbeauty · June 2013

I handle all the financial business in our relationship - DH's financial history was brought up when he went through bankruptcy and again for our pre-nup. There's a reason I handle the finances. Haven't had issues since.

ReturnOfKuus · June 2013

Maaaaan. He's broke AND had a wildly inappropriate relationship with another woman? Four damn men.

hmonkey · June 2013

i read this as he went through bankruptcy twice.

oh, it's just the one time? that's ... about what i expected.

entropicbeauty · June 2013

He stupidly co-signed for work related expenses (new truck & other equipment) and when the company went bankrupt his personal finances were tied to that. Rather than paying thousands upon thousands of dollars of business debt, he chose bankruptcy.

My husband is definitely not perfect- I don't try to hide that...but we're making it work just fine.

kiddodarling · June 2013

Courtpenguin21 said:

I have been with my SO for four years and part of it was in college so we didn't really think about it until I went to a bank to get a loan on my car more than a year ago. I saw his credit report and score and he saw mine. The banker explained what everything meant and he had a lower credit score for a bill he never even knew about. (He was very dependent on his mom to take care of things and she can be disorganized.)

I saw his credit score again around January and it was in the 400's. He had some loans in his name and rather than putting them in forbearance or paying on them, handed all the papers to his mom because she is the only one with the logon information for his account. She lost the papers or forgot and the loans were not taken care of. I told him that if he did not take care of the loans or at least get on his mom to put them in forbearance then he was going to be in a lot of trouble and his credit would be nonexistent.

He put them in forbearance and we are working on him improving his credit score. Mine is decent because I have been paying on my school loans and am consistant with my car loan. I also had a credit card in college to build my credit. Slow but it works.

I'd be a little concerned that he has to rely on his mom to pay his bills and that he wasn't aware that the loans weren't being taken care of. He didn't notice that money wasn't being taken out of his account to pay for them?

Jean0715 · June 2013

My FI and I have been together for about 4 years, living together for 2 of them. We got engaged this past December and are planning on getting married in Oct 2014.

We have kept all of our finances separate (until recently). Nothing was joined, not a checking account, not a credit card, nothing. We both work at the same company so we know relatively how much we each make and are very open about our expenses and our spending habits. I never directly asked him for his credit report but we talked about it so I trusted him his credit was fine. I can'T imagine having this conversation: "Baby, don't come home unless you have a certified printout of your credit report. Oh and don't forget to pick up italian bread!"

We just joined all of our finances and did some rearranging with credit cards and accounts. So thats when I found out his credit score and he found out mine. He was honest and I was honest with mine so there were no surprises.

It sounds silly to pull a credit report before getting married, but I think that its important to know what what your getting into.

Oface4eva · June 2013

I think a credit score doesn't lie, and honestly there is a lot of shame associated with bad spending habits...or at least there should be. And that shame would at times *ahem* lead someone to lie.

I know this from experience. So yes, I feel like a credit report is somewhat necessary, it removes fact from emotion.

kryan32 · June 2013

I was burned badly by a past BF because I was waayyyy too trusting... By the time I realized how dishonest he was, I had put myself and my daughter in financial danger - and thank goodness it was only financial... I eventually found out he was lying about everything from his age to his background to his financial situation, and I ended up losing thousands of dollars, getting evicted from the house we were sharing, and having to go to court because ex-BF hadn't been paying the rent...

NOLABridesmaid · June 2013

I'm sorry, but I have never understood buying a home with someone you aren't married to.

kryan32 · June 2013

NOLA - we were renting - he was supposed to be paying the rent and I was covering all the utilities... except he wasn't paying the rent...

VarunaTT · June 2013

NOLA, you and I can agree on that one. Just being married is way less of a legal obligation than buying a house.

hmonkey · June 2013

YES. divorce is easy compared to trying to get out of a mortgage.

saying "don't come home without a credit report and a loaf of bread" is the idiot's way of saying "i don't know how to have an adult conversation about finances."

NOLABridesmaid · June 2013

Yes. You break up and now you have to try to agree on what you're going to do with the house. Either buy out the other person, sell and who is paying the mortgage in the mean time. One person is butthurt about the break up and one person is trying to move their new boo in.

smh....

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