Wedding Gift Ettiquette

Re: Wedding Gift Ettiquette

• wittykitty14 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  Wedding gifts are 100% optional.  If people choose not to give one, there's nothing wrong with that.  Some people always give gifts, no matter what.  There's no right or wrong on this one.

  Edited for clarity

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• harper0813 member

  

  June 2013

  Gifts are not required. But I definitely don't think you're a sucker. It's very sweet, gracious and thoughtful to send a gift if you're not able to make it and I always do the same. Don't sweat it.

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• fuerst37 member

  

  June 2013

  I think it's a very sweet gesture. About half of our guests who did not attend sent presents, I think. In terms of whether I send gifts, I base it on the relationship. For the last wedding we were invited to, not only were we only casual acquaintances, but it felt like a gift grab (complete with registry info on the invites), and I declined to send a gift. When a good friend was married in a destination wedding that I couldn't afford to attend, I did send a gift.
  
  Gifts are optional, not obligated.
  

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• FizzySips member

  

  June 2013

  ^^^ this!!! ^^^

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  Gift: a thing given willingly to someone without payment.
  
  They should not be expected or "cover your plate" or anything else. If someone wants to give a gift, they give one. That said, I have always sent a gift whether I attend or not. It's a personal preference because I want to wish the couple well in the start of their journey. Even if others don't or if i don't get gifts at our upcoming wedding. it does not make me feel like a "sucker"... I don't understand how that would make you feel like a "sucker"?

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• tammym1001 member

  

  June 2013

  I don't think you've been handing out gifts like "suckers".  I've sent gifts to couples getting married or having babies when I wasn't even invited to their celebration. If you want to get someone a gift you do, if you don't want to then you don't get them one.

  
  

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• Pookieson member

  

  June 2013

  Gifts are optional.  We had probably 5 guests that showed to the wedding that did not give us wedding gifts and probably closer to 10 that didn't show and mailed us a gift.  We give a gift if we attend (unless it's a destination wedding or something that costed us a ton of money to attend) and we *usually* send a gift if we can not attend.  If we are not particularly close, I may just send a card. 

  You are not a sucker.  I think it is very generous of you. 

  

  June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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• nikkiborge

  

  June 2013

  Thanks guys, I was just curious to see what other people thought. We do the same for showers that we are invited to but cannot attend. I feel like gifts are a physical well wish, and it means more if we cannot attend. Much thanks!

  

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• erinlin25 member

  

  June 2013

  while gifts are optional; its a nice gesture to send something even if you cannot attend.  We had a few people do this which was totally unexpected, but obviously appreciated it. 
  
  As for me, for the most part I have always attended the wedding. I could not attend my cousin's out of state wedding, and I sent them a gift since I was too far to really be a part of anything else.  Another friend a few years back I could not go to the wedding, but was at the shower and bachelorette party (and brought a nice gift to the shower) so did not send a wedding gift since I actively participated in other wedding related parties.
  
  If it was not a close friend/family member I would not have sent a gift (like for the random cousin's wife-to-be whom I never met, invited me to her shower but not to the wedding--heck no did I send her a gift).
  
   
  
    
  

  
  
  
  

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