Receiving line vs Table visits

easilyunamused · June 2013

Which one as a bride/guest do you prefer?

I really want to sit and enjoy my dinner, so I'm leaning more towards a receiving line. But how does this really work? After B&G walk back back the aisle, do they stand by the door and great everyone as they walk out? Will everyone know to wait in the line, or is there an announcement before hand?

TIA

Gumby68 · June 2013

We did a receiving line which consisted of us stopping at the doors after the ceremony and hugging everyone as they left the church. I'm really glad we didn't decide on table visits because we attempted to start going around to tables and we kept getting sucked into really long conversations and I know it would have probably taken the entire reception if we had continued to try to stop to talk to everyone.

Jen4948 · June 2013

I think the receiving line works better if it takes place at the reception, not the ceremony. Also, according to Miss Manners, if the ceremony takes place at a house of worship, only G-d or by extension, G-d's clergy can "receive" guests in G-d's house.

A receiving line works by having the couple and parents, if they're hosts, stand in a line near the entrance to the reception and briefly greet each guest as they arrive. This obviously won't be a good time for prolonged conversations, just a quick congratulations and thanks for coming exchange.

getaclue44 · June 2013

We did our receiving line at the reception. People left the cocktail hour and went through the line on the way into reception room. It was just us and our parents. For 110 people it took about 7 minutes.

easilyunamused · June 2013

We aren't getting married at a church. I don't think the reception would work as well, because we might not be back from photos at the exact time people start to seat for dinner.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

Jen4948 said:

I think the receiving line works better if it takes place at the reception, not the ceremony. Also, according to Miss Manners, if the ceremony takes place at a house of worship, only G-d or by extension, G-d's clergy can "receive" guests in G-d's house.

A receiving line works by having the couple and parents, if they're hosts, stand in a line near the entrance to the reception and briefly greet each guest as they arrive. This obviously won't be a good time for prolonged conversations, just a quick congratulations and thanks for coming exchange.

As long as it's not against the rules of the church, you can do a receiving line outside if you want.

However, no matter where you do one, I urge you to only include the bolded. I have been a part of, and walked through receiving lines that made the whole WP stand there- super awkward.

Also, try your best to keep everyone moving along. All of the receiving lines I have been in and gone through took FOREVER because too many ppl stopped to have full length conversations. Keep it moving, lol.

easilyunamused · June 2013

@prettygirllost I wouldn't include the wedding party. Some of my BMs are from OOT and won't know many of the guests. That would be weird! Lol and I think it will just be FI and I, because we are paying for 90% of the wedding.

Does there need to be an announcement before the ceremony begins though? It do we just stand at the door?

OjitosVerdes · June 2013

As a guest I'd probably prefer the table visits, but as a bride and considering our number of guests, we're absolutely doing a receiving line as guests enter the reception. If we were to do table visits, we'd have to forgo dinner completely to run from table to table, and even then we probably wouldn't be able to catch everyone.

To make it as comfortable as possible for the guests, we're doing it in the foyer that leads to the room where the reception will be held. Guests will have access to a bar and a photo booth to entertain themselves in case the line gets backed up, and we're limiting those who will do the receiving to FI and me, and our moms.

ETS: the receiving line will occur at the end of the cocktail hour, so it will really be an extension of it.

loca4pook · June 2013

We did table visits, really due to a timing issue. We wanted to take pictures at church and had to be out of church by a certain time, then when we got to reception, we went straight to taking pics on golf course during cocktail hour.

I am not sure either is necessarily right or wrong, just a preference.

on a funny note, my sister didn't do a receiving line because she hates hugging people and was afraid she'd have to hug a million people! LOL

bethsmiles · June 2013

As a guest I prefer table visits. I don't really like standing in line and the bigger your wedding the worse a receiving line is (IMO). Also, I feel really rushed in a receiving line. I can't really talk to the bride and groom just give a quick congrats and shuffle along.

The weddings I've been to where the bride and groom did table visits I felt like I got to talk to them more and I really appreciated it more.

ETA: If you do a receiving line the ones that have just the bride and groom are MUCH better than the ones with the parents and WP too.

erinlin25 · June 2013

we did table visits and it worked fine. We enjoyed our dinner; took pictures here and there and also danced with each other. We split up and he went one way I went the other so we did not go to each table together but between the two of us we saw each guest at their tables; and we would meet up here and there. This way we each were sure to hit everyone to say Hi and thank you but both of us actually ended up getting to see & thank everyone. We only had 100 guests so it may have been easier for us. I could see with a larger guest list that would have been hard to do.

Either way is fine; I don't think I ever was at a wedding that did a receiving line; I was used to table visits.

easilyunamused · June 2013

I feel like I'd miss people with table visits. With the receiving line, at least you know you'll get everyone. Especially if someone doesn't make it to the reception. We will most likely do a little table visits as well though anyways.

We will have less than 100 guests. Probably closer to 80.

@loka4pook I'm not excited about hugging everyone either. Some people yes, but every single time? Not so much.

harper0813 · June 2013

As a guest, I prefer table visits. I always feel very awkward in a receiving line, especially when the parents are involved and I don't know them at all. Receiving lines = forced/quick conversation.

annathy03 · June 2013

I prefer table visits as a guest, but I think we will do a receiving line and then try to get to as many tables as we can. I don't think there is a major downside to the receiving line if you keep it moving, and it ensures you get a chance to thank everyone. Table visits are more common where I am from but unless they split up like Erin described (a few did, that works well) most of my married friends didn't manage to get to each table.

emeejeeayen · June 2013

At a wedding I went to recently, the bride and groom did table visits. Or should I say, "table visits," because they didn't actually visit. They forced us all to stand up and take basically a class portrait with our table with them standing next to us, and then they left. Literally did not say a word to any of us. So awkward.

ETA: and FI and his 2 brothers were groomsmen!

aurianna · June 2013

As a guest I HATE receiving lines, especially when all the parents and bridal party are in them. I usually know very few of these people and having to shake their hands or hug them or get kissed by them or have to make small talk to some of them because there's a hold up at the bride & groom is just so awkward for me as shy introvert.
Also crowds bother me a bit and I don't like feeling trapped in the church until I get through the line.

At our wedding we actually stood at the doors of the church and greeted people as they came in (then I did a quick costume change into my gown about 10 minutes prior to the ceremony). And then I did table visits at the reception to try to get in anyone I may have missed just prior to the ceremony start. It worked out well.

Kate61487 · June 2013

As a guest and as a bride I MUCH prefer table visits. receiving lines are long and awkward and forced and uncomfortable, IMO.

We had almost 300 guests in attendance and H and I visited every one of them and managed to eat dinner; it wasn't terribly difficult. As the B&G we were served first, we each took a few bites of salad and decided to get started; we covered maybe half the room before we were served our main course - we went up to each table, did a general greeting to the whole table, went around and hugged/shook hands with each guest as we had general chit chat with the whole table, then gave our thanks and farewell and moved on. We then went back to our table, ate dinner, and returned to the table visits as our guests were still eating and finished them up just as they were clearing plates and the ice cream bar opened. We spent more time talking with the guests vs. a receiving line, but probably took the same amount of time total b/c we were talking with a group of 10 instead of one at a time.

yellowrose314 · June 2013

As a guest, I've only ever been to weddings with receiving lines, and they were all before the reception. They're not my favorite. Mostly because I find them kind of awkward, like I'm standing in line for a movie, except I'm standing in line to give awkward handshakes to the bridal party (most of whom I never know) and the bride and groom and their parents. I think as a guest I'd prefer table visits.

That being said, DH and I did table visits at our wedding. We only had about 80 people at our wedding though so it only took us about an hour altogether (we floated around in between courses). We definitely got sucked into some longer conversations than we had intended, but we had a lot of people at the wedding we didn't get to see too often so it was nice. Although we both felt like we missed some people, which was unfortunate, but we caught up with them at some point during the evening. It just felt more personal to me then saying "thank you for coming" in a receiving line.

OjitosVerdes · June 2013

Kate61487 said:

As a guest and as a bride I MUCH prefer table visits. receiving lines are long and awkward and forced and uncomfortable, IMO.
We had almost 300 guests in attendance and H and I visited every one of them and managed to eat dinner; it wasn't terribly difficult. As the B&G we were served first, we each took a few bites of salad and decided to get started; we covered maybe half the room before we were served our main course - we went up to each table, did a general greeting to the whole table, went around and hugged/shook hands with each guest as we had general chit chat with the whole table, then gave our thanks and farewell and moved on. We then went back to our table, ate dinner, and returned to the table visits as our guests were still eating and finished them up just as they were clearing plates and the ice cream bar opened. We spent more time talking with the guests vs. a receiving line, but probably took the same amount of time total b/c we were talking with a group of 10 instead of one at a time.

@Kate61487 - if you were able to do it with this many people, I might reconsider. How long would you estimate you spent at each table? Assuming there was a 20 minute gap between your salad and main course, that would only have given you roughly a minute and a half at each table for the first round. While that works out to just mere seconds per guest, if you're greeting them as a group I can see how it could work. And in a receiving line you'd only have seconds per guest anyway. Did you feel rushed at all?

wittykitty14 · June 2013

As a guest, I prefer table visits. As a bride, I'm doing a receiving line with just FI and I, and probably parents. We'd like to do table visits too, but we haven't decided.

I only hate receiving lines when there's a TON of people in line (like the whole WP plus parents). If they're small and you're able to get through rather quickly, it's not so bad. We're definitely doing a receiving line because there's a couple people in my family who can only make the ceremony, and we wanted to make sure we saw everyone then. There are back exits to the church, so people will be able to leave if they want to skip it.

We also have some people coming to only the reception, which is why we might do table visits as well. The only thing is that we're worried that we won't get enough time to eat. Sitting down, relaxing, and eating this delicious food is something FI want to make sure we do!

Storm29 · June 2013

We did table visits, and I think it went perfectly. However, number of guests could be an issue here--we had a fairly small wedding, about 80 people. DH and I also made the rounds separately, which may or may not be the norm, but I think it worked very well for us.

harper0813 · June 2013

I'm really happy to see so many table visit success stories on here. @Kate61487 , I'm glad you got to eat! It gives me hope that I'll be able to, too!

We're going to keep pictures short during cocktail hour - 30 minutes for photos and then we'll go back inside for the last 30 minutes to circulate and have more one-on-one time. We'll divide and conquer. Hopefully it will be manageable with <175 guests - I just don't want them to wait in line. And I know my mom will freak out and insist on standing in a receiving line with us if we did one, and with how chatty she is, it would take an hour. No, really. I'm not exaggerating. We went to a cousin's wedding with a receiving line and I had to push her forward and cut her off mid-conversation because the bride had gotten visibly bored after four minutes of politely listening.

winelover123 · June 2013

We're doing both. In the receiving line it will only be FI and myself. As a guest, I hate awkwardly hugging the parents of the bride and groom and the WP. We'll do a quick receiving line before doing pictures, then we'll eat first and visit the tables during dinner.

AprilH81 · June 2013

winelover123 said:

We're doing both. In the receiving line it will only be FI and myself. As a guest, I hate awkwardly hugging the parents of the bride and groom and the WP. We'll do a quick receiving line before doing pictures, then we'll eat first and visit the tables during dinner.

This is my thought as well. We will probably have between 70-75 guests and FI and I will do a receiving line (no parents or WP) after the ceremony before finishing pictures. That at least gives us the opportunity to greet and thank everyone without worrying about missing anyone. We can then go around and visit each table and take a little more time throughout the afternoon. Our parents can also visit with "their" guests this way as well.

Jean0715 · June 2013

I think either is ok, but like PP say table visits are less awkward and you are able to spend a few extra moments with your guests that you may not be able to have in a receiving line.

To avoid this issue of not being able to totally enjoy our dinner because of the table visits and to avoid the awkwardness of the receiving line we are going to make sure that we are there for cocktail hour and be sure to thank our guests then.

FI and I have decided to do photos before our ceremony in a local park. This will allow us to have our "first reveal" and a private moment, have all the photos of the wedding party taken then. That also eliminates the time gap between ceremony and cocktail hour for our guests.

Pookieson · June 2013

I would have liked to do a receiving a line as a bride because it is less work on me and I'm selfish and lazy. However, I had 214 guests....so we did table visits to avoid the super long line (it was 104 on my wedding day, I didn't want to give grandma heat stroke). As a guest I prefer table visits because I don't have to stand in line (I'm selfish and lazy remember).

OjitosVerdes · June 2013

annathy03 said:

I prefer table visits as a guest, but I think we will do a receiving line and then try to get to as many tables as we can. I don't think there is a major downside to the receiving line if you keep it moving, and it ensures you get a chance to thank everyone. Table visits are more common where I am from but unless they split up like Erin described (a few did, that works well) most of my married friends didn't manage to get to each table.

This is exactly what I'm worried about. I'm not thrilled about splitting up either, as due to how spread out our families are geographically (especially mine), neither FI nor I will have met the majority of the other's non-immediate families until the day of the wedding. I'm just not sure we could cover all the tables without splitting up, but splitting up would defeat one of the things we're looking forward the most, which is introducing one another to our respective families.

Edited for 'haven't had my coffee yet brain'

manjermj · June 2013

Our church allowed for photos in the church after Mass or a receiving line. We didn't have the option of both. So we exiited the church under the Marine Corps sword arch and went back inside for photos then did table visits during dinner (we had 150 guests and 16 tables). DH was a little annoyed having to rush through dinner, but it was the only way we were able to get to every table. Luckily our caterer moved dinner as we got through tables and our DJ was great and kept us noted how much time we had left until our "planned" time for cake cutting and spotlight dances.

jarednmegan · June 2013

We aren't doing a receiving line, period. You and H can greet guests as they are dismissed from the ceremony...just go from one row to the next, thank guests for coming and they file out. As a guest, I like that better than waiting in line to say hi to the entire BP...for one thing, it takes less time.

We are having the ceremony and reception in the same space, so we won't have any reason to do a receiving line or dismissal. Guests already will be seated at tables being used during the reception. So we'll probably do table visits.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

scribe95 said:

With table visits there is no guaranteeing you are seeing each guest. They could be in the bathroom, at the bar, on the dance floor. I went to a wedding in Chicago years ago and the couple did table visits and I never saw them all night. Paid hundreds of dollars to travel, pay for a hotel - not a word.

Receiving lines at church are easy. You have an usher or groomsman release rows starting at the front a little at a time so the line doesn't get too long. That way the people mostly sit while waiting. Was at a 200-person wedding a few weeks ago and it took about 15 minutes.

That's impressive, but it's not an option for us. We only have 20 minutes after our ceremony to take pictures, church policy because they have mass about an hour after our scheduled ceremony.

I don't think we could keep ppl from talking too much in the receiving line anyways so we'd never be able to do it in 15minutes ;-)

keochan · June 2013

We're just doing table visits. FI doesn't want to do first looks and we'll only have about 20 minutes for pictures of us before the sun goes down. We're having a small wedding, expecting about 65, half of whom is family. We plan to visit non family first, then make the family rounds.

Receiving line vs Table visits

Re: Receiving line vs Table visits

Choose Another Board

Search Boards