Can't Decorate My Church?!?

banana468 · June 2013

RetreadBride said:
Wow I'm really surprised at the reaction of leaving any flower
decorations for the rest of the parish to enjoy the rest of the week.
This seems completely normal to me. Really what else are you going to do
with large flower displays?

The church doesn't enjoy them for the rest of the week. They see them on Sunday, and then they wilt.

What do you do with them? You send them home with friends, or to your elderly relatives who couldn't attend. Your local nursing home or hospital, or a neighbor.

WE paid for them.....WE should get to decide. That's an easy point. I'm surprised no one can see this.

Nope. You ask to get married in a church, you go by their rules. The altar isn't just an area of photos. It's sacred space. Taking the flowers with you implies that the look was more important than the sacredness in the ceremony/sacrament.

If you don't like the rules, don't get married there.

banana468 · June 2013

RetreadBride said:
Well, banana....as I said, I'm glad MY church, and my husband's church, don't have rules like yours. So we don't have a problem. Do we?

I guess my husband didn't forget something at seminary that your pastor seems to have forgotten - Thou Shalt Not Steal?

I'll ask you kindly to not insult my parish thank you.

Those are the rules. It's nit stealing because you decide you want to change them.

You can disagree with policy but when you begin to question the holiness of someone in a statement like that you are over the line.

banana468 · June 2013

I HAVE a child, thank you.

Your comments are insulting and extremely disrespectful. I expected better.

NYCBruin · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

Well, you can ask, and I can say no.

I pick my lines, not you. You can set boundaries for other people when you have children.

I'm sorry to have insulted your priest. I crossed a line. I had never heard of the flower-leaving rule before this post and since my husband's church does not have a similar rule, it seemed really bizarre to me. Thanks for taking the time to explain the reason for the rule to me.
Have a nice day.

FTFY

@banana468 didn't come back with an insulting remark about how somehow your lack of a flower-rule means that your husband doesn't respect the altar/church.

A church is not just another vendor. It's a place of worship that has many rules. Sometimes those rules don't make sense to those who aren't members of the church. As someone with a husband who is a pastor, I would have thought you would have understood that. You can certainly disagree with the rules, but there's no need to insult the people who enforce the rule.

Sorry if this is snarky, but I found your comments accusing a priest of stealing to be really insulting. And your follow up response to another poster's calm request that you not insult her church was just as bad.

banana468 · June 2013

Thank you @NYCBruin! I'm flabbergasted at these comments. I'm rather surprised that someone who knows TK's TOS so well to post comments that are insulting to my beliefs.

manateehugger · June 2013

I'd just like to chime in that I completely agree that Retread's comments were completely insulting and unnecessary. I've found her contributions to this thread distasteful.

FWIW - we will be getting married in FI's Lutheran church. It has the same policy. I didn't think twice about it - we look at it as a thank you to the church community for allowing us to use the sanctuary.

manateehugger · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

This gets funnier by the minute. Banana seems to think other people have some sort of obligation to be respectful to HER, and the rest of you bitch about me "insulting" you after all the bullshit you've posted about me in the last few weeks. Thanks for Funny Freaky Friday.

You know, I have zero dogs in whatever fight this is. I don't think I've ever even had a conversation with Banana on here - or you, Retread. I just thought that when you can't just simply disagree with a policy and instead start hurling insults at other peoples' religious leaders, you've crossed a definite line.

And now you can't even gracefully say, "I stand by my opinion on the issue, but I should not have implied that your priest is a thief. I apologize."

I remember the Bible too - there are quite a few verses about forgiveness and grudge holding as well.

Edited for grammar.

Sierra524 · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

Well, banana....as I said, I'm glad MY church, and my husband's church, don't have rules like yours. So we don't have a problem. Do we?

I guess my husband didn't forget something at seminary that your pastor seems to have forgotten - Thou Shalt Not Steal?

How is it stealing if the bride and groom donate the flowers to the church?

What are you going to do with the flowers afterwards? According to you, they could be donated to the hospital or something. But face it, who is going to want to take time out of their wedding day to take flowers to a hospital?! & you would rather give them to a hospital instead of donating them to the church you just got married in? As a wife of a pastor, you should know better than to insult other parishes. Have a little respect.

AllieBear725 · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

This gets funnier by the minute. Banana seems to think other people have some sort of obligation to be respectful to HER, and the rest of you bitch about me "insulting" you after all the bullshit you've posted about me in the last few weeks. Thanks for Funny Freaky Friday.

Seriously? I have never posted any bullshit about you, and your post to banana insulted ME.

TKzilla · June 2013

FTR - if anyone reading this decides to donate their flowers to a hospital or nursing home, make sure you call ahead because some have strict rules about that sort of thing. I'd hate to see someone try to do a nice thing and get shut down

NYCBruin · June 2013

RetreadBride said:
This gets funnier by the minute. Banana seems to think other people have some sort of obligation to be respectful to HER, and the rest of you bitch about me "insulting" you after all the bullshit you've posted about me in the last few weeks. Thanks for Funny Freaky Friday.

I also don't believe I have ever interacted with either of you. I certainly haven't posted anything about you before this. Your post was so wildly offensive I felt the need to comment on it.

TKzilla · June 2013

@RetreadBride, did you know you have 666 points?

AddieCake · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

This gets funnier by the minute. Banana seems to think other people have some sort of obligation to be respectful to HER, and the rest of you bitch about me "insulting" you after all the bullshit you've posted about me in the last few weeks. Thanks for Funny Freaky Friday.

What does this even mean? I haven't seen anything posted about you since the flagging incident from quite some time ago.

manateehugger · June 2013

FTR - if anyone reading this decides to donate their flowers to a hospital or nursing home, make sure you call ahead because some have strict rules about that sort of thing. I'd hate to see someone try to do a nice thing and get shut down

I was just about to say this too - most hospitals wont accept them anymore.

TKzilla · June 2013

PDKH said:

FTR - if anyone reading this decides to donate their flowers to a hospital or nursing home, make sure you call ahead because some have strict rules about that sort of thing. I'd hate to see someone try to do a nice thing and get shut down

I was just about to say this too - most hospitals wont accept them anymore.

And it makes perfect sense on both ends - people want to send flowers to their loved ones to cheer them up and don't think about possible complications for that patient or other patients. When my grandmother was in the ICU, I was like "Oh, let's send flowers!" Then my mom was like "Slow down. Think about it. She's in the ICU with COPD. Flowers would not be good for her." I never even thought about it.

manateehugger · June 2013

CourtaniaLynn said:

PDKH said:

FTR - if anyone reading this decides to donate their flowers to a hospital or nursing home, make sure you call ahead because some have strict rules about that sort of thing. I'd hate to see someone try to do a nice thing and get shut down

I was just about to say this too - most hospitals wont accept them anymore.

And it makes perfect sense on both ends - people want to send flowers to their loved ones to cheer them up and don't think about possible complications for that patient or other patients. When my grandmother was in the ICU, I was like "Oh, let's send flowers!" Then my mom was like "Slow down. Think about it. She's in the ICU with COPD. Flowers would not be good for her." I never even thought about it.

Yep that, and now (sadly) it's a safety issue too. They can't accept random unannounced deliveries.

banana468 · June 2013

Seriously? @KnotPorsha may not think your posts violated TK's TOS but they were seriously insulting me directly.

I have NEVER insulted you @RetreadBride. We've had disagreements but I've always been respectful. Again, I expected better.

TKzilla · June 2013

RetreadBride said:

Yeah, you're right.

It was a really shitty thing to say, and I'm sorry. I apologize to Banana.

I've been in a lot of pain all week, and I'm sick of being treated as irrelevant in the real world. All my "friends" have needed help in the last year, and now it's, "thanks, Retread. We appreciate it. You can go away now, and when we need you again, we'll let you know." I'm fucking sick of it. There will not BE an "again." The gravy train has left the station.

This week at work I got yelled at by a donor for no reason at all, and the witch looked for a second as if she was going to slap me. She gets HER ass kissed because she gives a lot of money. I am convinced they would have done the same if she DID hit me. I didn't even get an apology behind doors.

I swear to God, every time my back hurts, I think about taking every pill in the bottle.

That's really scary and you should probably talk to someone professionally. Nobody here wants to see you in THAT much pain.

mcda04 · June 2013

Retread I'm sorry you're having a difficult week.

OP; I agree with Kristin and Banana.

When i began planning my wedding, I threw a fit when they told me I couldn't throw petals or use a runner. Then I came here and googled pictures of ceremonies with no decorations. I ended up buying two small arrangements for the alter and nothing else. Our church has beautiful stained glass and lots of natural beauty. Our pictures came out great.

MuppetOverlord · June 2013

@retreadbride I'll refrain from commenting on the offending post since you apologized. I am sorry that you're having such a bad time today. I hope you feel better soon.

OP - I agree with the others and I'm glad you appreciated our advice. I also warn about Pinterest. I love it, I used it through the whole process but I fully experienced a lot of heart break too when i couldn't afford some things that I decided I LOVED on there. My florist hates it because people come to her (including myself) with all these photos from peoples dream wedding on a very low budget and are sticker shocked when she tells them the cost. I just suggest being open to alternative ideas that may achieve a similar look or feel.

Congrats!

PrettyGirlLost · June 2013

thayilstyle312 said:
Hi everyone!

This is my first post and I've actually just got engaged last month.... So totally new!

Anyways, I booked my church and reception hall.. Everything is beautiful but I'm not sure how to decorate the church aisle. My fiancé and I are both catholic and I have been a super active member of my parish for over 10 years, so I have a sentimental attachment to that church. Unfortunately they told me that I am not allowed to have flower petals thrown on the floor (or anything that requires clean-up) and since they have marble floors, I also can't have an aisle runner.

I'm more than a little annoyed.. I think it's harsh to say I can't have either or. But anyways, how can I decorate the aisle (not the pews) with these restrictions? Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!
Tia

I'm probably too late to the party, but these restrictions are common for many of my local churhes, Catholic and other. The aisle runners or crashes or whatever they are a tripping hazard, and no one wants to clean up a mess of petals, especially if the church needs to prepare for another mass after yours.

Ask your church what their policy is on pew bows. If they allow them, pew bows can be a lovely way to decorate your ceremony. I personally have never liked aisle runners. . .no one is looking at a Bride's feet or the ground she is walking on.

banana468 · June 2013

@RetreadBride, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. That is a scary place to be and I hope you're able to get the help/treatment that you need. I've watched several family members suffering and I wish you are able to get better.

I accept your apology and hope we can go back to disagreeing with kindness as we always have. :-)

Can't Decorate My Church?!?

Re: Can't Decorate My Church?!?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards