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So what does "Semi-Formal/Formal" mean to you?

auriannaaurianna member
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edited June 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Just got an STD for a wedding next summer and I went to the website. Under attire it mentions that it's "Semi-Formal/Formal". The reception is at a country club... but it might be starting around 3pm if they don't have a gap (though they don't actually specify reception start time).
My guess is they are hoping for cocktail attire but don't know how to word it (not that it should really be worded at all).

I'm trying to think of a nice way to ask...
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Re: So what does "Semi-Formal/Formal" mean to you?

  • PookiesonPookieson member
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    I wouldn't ask.  To me semi-formal is cocktail attire.  Cute dress kind of thing.  I mostly wouldn't ask because they shouldn't be telling me what to wear to begin with. 

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  • auriannaaurianna member
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    Well I'm wondering if I ask in the right way if she'll realize it was confusing and take it down. Dare to dream?
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  • BangBangs39BangBangs39
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    Semi-Formal and Formal are two different options... I would just say "Got your STD, I'm very excited, I checked out your wedding website, I just want to clarify with you whether the preferred attire is semi-formal or formal..." 
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  • auriannaaurianna member
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        Gisellerina said:
        My guess would be cocktail attire as well.


        Peledreamsofrain said:
        If it's at a country club, I'd break out the suit jackets and nice dresses. Not full blown formal though.


    Just adding those since hopefully the double thread will get deleted.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
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    I would think cocktail attire; but with a 3pm start not super formal-- a nice dress; men in nice shirt with tie.  Our wedding was at a country club and there dress code was simply no jeans.  It can vary so if you are worried, ask the bride; but unless the country club has specific requirements they should not dictate what you should/ should not wear.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
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    I would show up in a dress and FI would show up in a suit. That's what we always wear to weddings.

    Is there something I'm missing here?

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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    I'd wear a cute dress and tell my date to wear a suit. Don't ask in hopes she'll delete it. Passive aggressive and not your place to be correcting her.
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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    It means the B&G are rude.

    But seriously, I would probably wear a cocktail dress.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • mcda04mcda04 member
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    You can't go wrong with a cocktail dress. We just went to a "black tie/formal" wedding so I bought a long formal gown only to arrive to a regular cash bar, casual attire wedding. I was not a happy camper.


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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    I'd wear a cute dress and tell my date to wear a suit. Don't ask in hopes she'll delete it. Passive aggressive and not your place to be correcting her.
    Not to mention she might not take it down and instead add to it.  I'm thinking of a wedding website with photos of attire that is "ok" and "not ok."
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I would be livid if I bought a dress suitable for a black tie event and got there to find it wasn't. WTF?

    OP, just wear a nice dress. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    alisonmarie658 said:

    My parents were once invited to a wedding where the invitation said "black tie" They later heard from the bride and groom that they wrote this only so that her family would show up in something nicer than jeans and a flannel shirt. All it did was confuse all of their guests.

    I would be LIVID if I dropped a few hundred dollars on a gown for no reason. Holy crap.

    But agreed - cute dress.
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  • auriannaaurianna member
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    Oh I'll probably do cocktail LBD. (it's what I would have picked beforehand if I hadn't read the "/formal" on website, at least).

    I was just really curious what you all would get out of "semi-formal/formal."

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  • auriannaaurianna member
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    edited June 2013
    thanks

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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
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    I think it's also funny that she is " / " a word that has SEMI in the name.  It makes me think of, like, directions when you're going NNW and WNW instead of just NW.  Like, you're officially on the more "formal" side of "semi-formal" but I can't just say "formal" b/c it's not quite there...

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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    alisonmarie658 said:
    PDKH said:
    My parents were once invited to a wedding where the invitation said "black tie" They later heard from the bride and groom that they wrote this only so that her family would show up in something nicer than jeans and a flannel shirt. All it did was confuse all of their guests.
    I would be LIVID if I dropped a few hundred dollars on a gown for no reason. Holy crap. But agreed - cute dress.
    Luckily they cleared this up with the guests in my parent's circle of friends right after they got the invitation --  but one lady actually was really disappointed because she was really looking forward to re-wearing a dress she bought for an awards banquet.
    That's good at least. The lady should have worn it anyway, ha! I can't fathom doing that to people though. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    A cocktail outfit sounds right for the time of day of this wedding, especially if it's at a country club.
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  • LavenderHoneyBeeLavenderHoneyBee member
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    BangBangs39 said:
    Semi-Formal and Formal are two different options... I would just say "Got your STD, I'm very excited, I checked out your wedding website, I just want to clarify with you whether the preferred attire is semi-formal or formal..." 
    Don't do this. There is no reason to point out the faux-pas. The bride most likely means semi-formal OR formal, leaving it up to the guests to decide. No need to be dense and put her on the spot about it. 
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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
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    For ladies buying long formal gowns for black tie weddings, maybe it's better to just wear a nice cocktail dress if you don't want to otherwise buy the gown.  Would a guest really get kicked out of a "black tie" event if they're wearing a fancy cocktail dress rather than a long evening gown?  Thoughts?
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  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
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    Agree - cocktail attire, suit for the men. I'd alway err on the overdressed side for a wedding. you'll look awesome.

    but what a bizarre way to phrase it. basically, she's saying "nice clothes." weird.

     

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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    CrazyCatLady3 said:
    For ladies buying long formal gowns for black tie weddings, maybe it's better to just wear a nice cocktail dress if you don't want to otherwise buy the gown.  Would a guest really get kicked out of a "black tie" event if they're wearing a fancy cocktail dress rather than a long evening gown?  Thoughts?
    I don't think a guest would kicked out for not wearing a long formal gown.  However, if it really was a black tie event and I showed up in a cocktail dress, I would be extremely uncomfortable.  I mean, would you want to be the only woman wearing a cocktail dress when everyone else was wearing a floor length gown?
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • michellemayawheelermichellemayawheeler member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary

    It depends on the wedding these days...It means a little dress,knee length not a formal long one especially at a country club.

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  • michellemayawheelermichellemayawheeler member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    A little black dress......is safe than sorry.
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  • kiwikiss56kiwikiss56 member
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    I just went to a black tie wedding where 3/4 of the women were wearing short dresses.  Probably 1/2 were wearing more casual dresses...it was very odd.  I wore long and I was one of the only younger person wearing one.  All the guys wore tuxes though.  Can't go wrong with a LBD! 
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  • SVikeSVike member
    First Comment

    We put formal on ours because to us and our friends semi-formal means jeans and a nice shirt. We've definitely had to clear that up with a lot of the older guests though. Oops.

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