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I have never done much arm work....do you think arm exercises bulk up arms too much?
Only start with 8lb weights if you can. Don't try to over exert yourself, which leads to injuries. If you pick up a weight and don't feel comfortable with it, adjust the weight until you are comfortable. Lifting weights should be challenging, not dangerous.
Just for the record, not all the ladies using 5lb weights are bored. I lift more, but I know a handful of ladies that use 5 and 7.5 lb weights. They feel challenged with those weights because of the way they workout (high reps, low weight). Weights, just like cardio, is not a one size fits all approach.