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Etiquette

Putting ID required on invite.

My sisters hotel will be requiring ID for every drink they serve and some of the guests would be very unhappy if they don't get to drink. Is there an appropriate wording we can use to put on the Reception insert in her invitations? 
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Re: Putting ID required on invite.

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Is it not pretty common to get asked for ID when ordering a drink?
    wittykitty14CLoGreenEyes
  • I've never been asked for ID while ordering drinks at a wedding.

    I would assume OP, that guests will still have their wallets/purses with them though.



    jendemeyer
  • I know they didn't ask at my wedding and a lot of my guests hadn't brought ID.
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  • My bartender let me know to warn people about the ID thing. I'm not sure how closely she actually checked everyone's ID, if at all--I was a little distracted, as you can imagine.

    However, we put this information in an "Odds & Ends" section of our wedding website. No one seemed to have any problems. I wouldn't put it on the reception card, personally, but I generally feel that "less is more" on those sorts of inserts.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd put it on a website or use word-of-mouth to spread the information.
  • I always bring my ID to a wedding just in case I'm carded, but I've never been carded at a wedding. I would just spread it via word of mouth and out it on your wedding website.

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  • colexcolex member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I got caught without my ID at my friends wedding (same wedding with the mean photographer) I could have desperately used a drink after that ordeal but no dice.
  • I would think most people would have access to ID. Even if they didn't drive and didn't want to carry around a crapload of stuff at the reception, I don't think most people would completely leave it at home. Maybe in the car or hotel room, but they could always get it from there. If you want to be extra cautious, you could spread it via word of mouth or on the wedding website.
  • I've never been carded at a private event.  I always have my ID on me.

    That said, I know a lot of people that don't always carry their ID and a wedding would be the type of event that they don't bring an ID to.

    I would err on the side of caution and include an insert.  I would feel really bad if a guest either couldn't drink b/c she didn't bring her ID or had to leave the reception even for a few minutes to get their ID from her car/hotel room.  I've witnessed people getting carded and not having their ID on them and it's always embarrassing for them and awkward for everyone else.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Yeah, I don't expect to be carded at a wedding, but I always have my ID on me. Who doesn't carry around ID? You never know when you'll need it. 

    If nothing else, we usually go somewhere after the wedding where I will need it. 
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  • FYI, if they're carding, I would see if they can add extra bartenders. I went to a wedding recently where they carded all 200 guests, and it took AN EFFING LIFETIME to get a drink.
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    SKPMsouthernbelle0915
  • People actually go places without their ID?? This is honestly news to me!

    I agree with Stage's suggestion about an added insert. Or, if most of your guests will probably check the website, have a note up on there.
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    Anniversary
  • Let the info go out by word of mouth. When people call to RSVP, tell them about the ID requirement. When they RSVP by mail, make sure someone gets in touch with them and lets them know.

    "Aunt Jane, would you please make sure all your (adult) kids know to bring IDs with them if they want to be served alcohol?"
  • I have never ever ever been carded at a private event for a drink, and I still get carded for cigarettes and R rated movies! I also never carry my purse to a wedding and rarely have my ID. I would put an insert in the invitation that says something along the lines of "venue policy requires carding for alcohol regardless of apparent age. We apologize for any inconvenience." ETA: @mlg, your bare minimum is much more than mine. H carries his wallet and pays when we're out. "Downsizing" for me usually just means my phone, and even that is often locked in the car.
    First, ... I'm jealous. 

    Second - OP - I agree that word of mouth is probably best. You could also put it on your website if you have one. I live in the crazy state of Arizona where some of my guests, depending on their lodging plans after my wedding, will have to go through an in-state immigration checkpoint. This means that our international friends who are here on work visas need their passports and visas on them. I put it on our wedding website, and have let people know via word of mouth. 

    I also never go anywhere without my ID, so I don't think it will be that big of a deal regardless. 
  • edited June 2013
    I always get carded, so I always bring mine. However, I have only been carded once at a wedding (my cousin's reception) and I forgot my ID. I just ended up having my dad buy me a glass of wine. :)

    I think It's better to be safe and add it to your website or use word of mouth as pps have suggested. It's awkward being carded if you don't have your ID handy.

    ETA forgot a sentence
  • gailpetegailpete member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    I agree with PPs either put it on your wedding website, or if you have an accommodations/other information card in the invitation, include it on there.  Even if I didn't normally carry it with me, like Stage, if I knew it might be an issue, I'd ask DH to hold onto it for me in case I needed it.
  • Personally, I think it's irresponsible to not carry your ID at all times.  You never know what's around the corner.  But that's just my opinion.

    I don't generally drink in public, so I've never given this much thought.  I don't think that I would expect to get carded to drink at a wedding though.  However, if I'm going to drink, I always make sure to have it on me.

    But given the variety of responses on here, it seems that a lot of people think differently on this.  I don't think it's weird that they'd card people, because again, it's a responsibility thing.  I would put in on the website and let people know by word of mouth.
    snippet17
  • I always give my ID and my credit card to FI if I'm going purse-less. I'm almost never without my ID. I suppose include it on your website and an insert would be the best idea.




  • I've never been carded at a wedding before and I look very young, everywhere else I do.  I would never go anywhere without my id though

    Anniversary

  • I would use word of mouth.
    People should always carry proof of identification with them. Heaven forbid something happens, it's the best way to id you. Slip the license into your SO's wallet if you have to. If they don't bring their id with them, it's their own fault. Just because they've gotten away with it in the past, doesn't mean they always will. Be happy someone thinks you look under the age of 30 or 40 or what ever and move on.

    I've worked as a waitress and I carded everyone. Everyone. It was never worth losing my job over to skip someone, just because they looked like they could possibly be over 21. I could also get arrested. Not worth it just because someone didn't feel like bringing their license with them.
    I had one guy get really agitated because *gasp* he had to go out to his car and get it. It's the law, buddy. It's the rule in my store. Don't get all cranky just because I'm doing my job.

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  • I would use word of mouth.
    People should always carry proof of identification with them. Heaven forbid something happens, it's the best way to id you. Slip the license into your SO's wallet if you have to. If they don't bring their id with them, it's their own fault. Just because they've gotten away with it in the past, doesn't mean they always will. Be happy someone thinks you look under the age of 30 or 40 or what ever and move on.

    I've worked as a waitress and I carded everyone. Everyone. It was never worth losing my job over to skip someone, just because they looked like they could possibly be over 21. I could also get arrested. Not worth it just because someone didn't feel like bringing their license with them.
    I had one guy get really agitated because *gasp* he had to go out to his car and get it. It's the law, buddy. It's the rule in my store. Don't get all cranky just because I'm doing my job.

    There's a big difference between not carrying your ID and giving the waitress shit about IDing you. I've gotten plenty of attitude from people who HAVE their IDs.
    Yes and no. I mean, if you don't carry around your id, and you get carded, there is a bigger chance you'd be annoyed than if you happened to have your id on you. Because if you have your id on you, then at least you get the drink you wanted. General you, not you you.

    Not that everyone who gets carded and doesn't have id gives the waitress a hard time. And, oh absolutely have I been given attitudes from people who had their id's on them. (Sorry, ma'am, would you RATHER me assume you're over 40?)
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    mlg78
  • I would not trust word of mouth if your venue's policy is so strict.  Just stick a little insert in there and be done with it.  Disseminating your venue's policy isn't rude so you will be fine.
    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    have my ID with me. . . so the police can identify my body!  Hello, doesn't anybody else watch ID TV? :-P
    Exactly why I take it with me on my walks! You just never know!


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    mlg78[Deleted User]snippet17
  • I've been to 3 weddings since I reached the legal drinking age and have been carded at 2/3 of the receptions when I ordered a drink.  People tend to guess my age is about 16, so I expect it and always bring my ID, just in case.
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  • H and I are frequently carded at weddings, as are many of our friends. If it's close (the guest looks youngish), many places will card because they could get in huge trouble if they served underage, so I am not surprised we have been carded at private events.

    I always take my ID in my clutch to a wedding. If I don't need it, then OK, but I don't want to be stuck without it. I would never think of putting something on my website or invitation about IDs required because I would assume most people would have it on them.


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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I always have my ID with me, even if I know I'm not going to need to pull it out, and even if I'm with other people who could ID me if needed. What if we had a car accident and we were all incapacitated?  If something happens to the person I'm with and I need to drive home, I should have it on me. In some areas of the country, it's technically illegal to not carry some form of ID. I do occasionally get carded, so I take it with me.  I didn't know so many people never carry ID either, but it's really the smart thing to do. Stick it in your bra, give it to your SO, whatever.  If you get carded, be flattered and move on. It's no big deal.

    You might try taking an informal poll of family or friends, see how likely they are to have their ID on them that night. That might tell you if you need to proceed with notifying your guests of the venue policy.
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