Atheist wedding ideas

Knottie_22388050 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:c8796597-0d7b-45c0-bf66-a4ffee887fdbPost:c8681e03-a4aa-416d-8209-c53764699e02">Atheist wedding ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]We're working on putting together our own ceremony, and I'm wondering if there are any Atheists/Agnostics/non-religious folk here who have ideas for readings or on the ceremony in general? We're having a friend officiate, so we are completely building this whole thing from scratch. What I've been finding has mostly been super long, too sappy, or just not right. No references to god, religion, and we'd like to keep them short, sweet, and more on the fun side than weepy. We found one by Bob Marley that we like (the "He's not perfect" one). Any other ideas?
Posted by kandacelant[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>How about a traditional hand fasting cerimony?

</div>

pricegurl08 · March 2013

Have you thought of having a Handfasting ceremony? My fiance and I are going this route because neither of us are the big religous type. It's meant to signify a couple coming together as "One" I personally find it really romantic. Hope this helps

[Deleted User] · March 2013

For our wedding, we're using a Taylor Mali poem called "How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog" and ee cummings's "i love you much most beautiful darling". I also love this one: http://tim-pratt.livejournal.com/106839.html. I kind of wish we were more into sci fi or fantasy kind of stuff to make it make sense for our ceremony.

Leahzc · April 2013

One of my best friends and her hubby are not religious in the least (their in church for weddings and the occasional funeral), so they got married on the beach with just close family and recited Dr. Seuss-type vows. It was cute and very appropriate for them and their personalities.

My fiancé' joked that we should do the wedding vows from Game of Thrones.. LOL

1684569412 · June 2013

Mmm. I'm thinking that our planned wedding, with our delightful pink-haired officiant, forty-year-old flower girl, and the giant poodle ring-bearer would *really* annoy someone who was upset by something "mildly goofy".

SilverSarahB · July 2013

StageManager14 said:
I am thinking you don't understand the difference between "unusual" and "goofy". Nothing about an officiant's hair color or the age of your flower girl affects the text or tone of a wedding ceremony. And I don't think anyone here would have an issue with those things. It's when the ceremony itself becomes a joke that people find it in poor taste.

All I can say is "too damned bad". The tone should fit the people getting married, as it is the moment of the creation of their union. If that is goofy instead of solemn, then that's how it is and the guests are either happy about it, or they are way too self-interested. I don't get to define anyone else's marriage, but I do get to define my own. That does extend to how I am wed. Anyone bugged by that is just gonna have to deal.

I"m not too worried about it, really. I've always been me, which has included being happy or goofy a good part of my life. If someone thinks it's in poor taste, they probably already think my life is in poor taste and chose not to be in my life a long time ago. They certainly wouldn't be attending the ceremony.

kryan32 · July 2013

We want a wedding that is spiritual without being religious... Our officiant gave us some great quotes to use as readings if we wanted them, including the Bob Marley one, which we're using... Here are a few others:

Take into account that great love

and great achievements involve great risk.

And that a loving atmosphere in your home

is the foundation for your life.

Be gentle with the earth, be gentle with one another.

When disagreements come remember always

to protect the spirit of your union.

When you realize you've made a mistake,

take immediate steps to correct it.

Remember that the best relationship is one

in which your love for each other

exceeds your need for each other.

So love yourselves, love one another,

love all that is your life together and all else will follow.

-The Dalai Lama

Love is like a tree,

it grows of its own accord,

it puts down deep roots into our whole being.

- Victor Hugo

The Art of Marriage

by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

The little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is never taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,

but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,

dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner,

It is being the right partner.

There are tons more - I can email the file to you if you want it...

Jen4948 · July 2013

Briannamahan, it's never a good idea to put your personal contact information in posts here. People can contact you through the Inbox (it's the second icon near the top of the screen that looks like an envelope with an arrow pointing to it). I strongly advise you to edit your post to remove your email address.

smfretz · November 2013

.,.

melbenso · November 2013

I'm agnostic and my FI is a Unitarian Universalist. One of the readings we are considering is "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

kitty8403 · November 2013

We had atheist friends who chose to write their own vows and had a musician friend play an original piece for them. People loved it!

Ours is walking a fine line, religion wise, and we are trying to be as diplomatic as possible. I'm leaning toward trying something that is less typical here to keep the ceremony interesting-- wine box ceremony, ring warming, hand fasting--something along those general lines. I haven't figured out our readings yet.

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