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Shower invitees: out of state family?

kmrazekkmrazek member
10 Comments
in Illinois-Chicago
I looked at the shower board and couldn't find this topic anywhere, so I'm posting it to you ladies. 

My fiance's family is almost all in Minnesota, spread all over the state (between 6 and 10 hours driving time away from here).  My MOH (sister) is starting to get ideas for the wedding shower she has offered to throw for me, and asked me for a preliminary guest list.  I am having a dilemma with the MN family - is it rude to invite them knowing it would be nearly impossible for them to make it, and thus making them possibly feel obligated to send a gift?  Or is it rude to leave them off the invitee list entirely, assuming they wouldn't make the trek to Illinois or wouldn't want to possibly send a gift in lieu of attending? 
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Re: Shower invitees: out of state family?

  • mandybear7mandybear7
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Usually OOT family is excluded from shower invites, so as not to appear gift-grabby. Can you MOH email someone in his family (FMIL?) and let her know the shower plans. She can ask if they want to throw a combined shower or if they had something else in the works, or nothing at all. That way, they know about the shower so no one will feel left out and there is no pressure.
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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  • sgyllingsgylling
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I went back and forth on it too. I ended up sending OOT people them anyways. They were all family or good friends because otherwise I felt like they would be like, why didn't I get an invitation? I have been invited to OOT showers and it was nice to be included and I didn't mind sending a gift since usually you are pretty close to the person anyway. Just my 2 cents:)
    Steph & Brandon 4.17.10
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  • kthamekthame
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I second syglling...we are doing the same thing. Half of my bridal party is OOT and all of FIs family is OOT. My MOH is throwing the Bach party the same weekend though, so it's like a 2 for 1 (for some of the guests anyhow).
    imageimage
    Finally...we are Mr. & Mrs.!!! WooHoo!!!

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  • aesthyerinaesthyerin
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I  was in the same boat, a lot of FI's extended family is n the East Coast (we're in Chicago). I left the decision up to him and he said it wasn't important that those aunts be invited. He was content with mom and grandma that were here in town so we went with that.
    ~Erin~
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