Bringing in multiple desserts- OK to ask for help?

sjw6789 · July 2013

My fiance and I have decided that we do not want to have the one fancy traditional wedding cake. We are on a limited budget, fancy cakes are expensive, and neither one of us are too concerned about upholding tradition. Our idea then is to have a dessert table with multiple items; something for everyone basically, e.g. cookies, brownies, cupcakes, etc.

Our current idea is to recruit several members of our friends and family to bake something. Disclaimer: we are absolutely not asking any one or few people to take on a huge load. We're simply asking for one person each to make one batch of cupcakes, or a dozen cookies, or something else small, maybe in lieu of a gift or something. We would certainly never place the burden of providing desserts for 150+ people on only a couple of people.

Is this OK? I know if any of my friends ever asked me to do something like this I would do it happily. But that's just me. I'm asking because I honestly just don't know if this would be received well, and if the majority tells me it's a bad idea I won't do it.

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

This is murky. I understand that one little cake or tray of cupcakes is not a lot to ask, especially instead of a gift, but you're asking people to cater your wedding. Plus, your VIPs are going to have a lot to do the night before and the day of your wedding and worrying about baking a cake and transporting it (and potentially screwing up your wedding if they forget) is burdensome.

NYCMercedes · July 2013

sjw6789 said:

My fiance and I have decided that we do not want to have the one fancy traditional wedding cake. We are on a limited budget, fancy cakes are expensive, and neither one of us are too concerned about upholding tradition. Our idea then is to have a dessert table with multiple items; something for everyone basically, e.g. cookies, brownies, cupcakes, etc.

Our current idea is to recruit several members of our friends and family to bake something. Disclaimer: we are absolutely not asking any one or few people to take on a huge load. We're simply asking for one person each to make one batch of cupcakes, or a dozen cookies, or something else small, maybe in lieu of a gift or something. We would certainly never place the burden of providing desserts for 150+ people on only a couple of people.

Is this OK? I know if any of my friends ever asked me to do something like this I would do it happily. But that's just me. I'm asking because I honestly just don't know if this would be received well, and if the majority tells me it's a bad idea I won't do it.

IF, and only if, someone asks, then you can let them bring a tray of cookies or brownies. This is different than your "recruit". Never, ever say it is in lieu of a gift as that assumes they are planning on giving you a gift. Also, you must check with your venue and caterer to see if they allow any food, and especially homemade food, to be brought into the reception. Most places don't allow it. ETA . By far it would be better to purchase a variety of desserts at SAMs than to ask anyone to bake.

michellemayawheeler · July 2013

It is okay,if it is intermediate family and close freinds. The occassion is organized with a meeting.

Then you know what is going to be brought and not any confusion.

sjw6789 · July 2013

We've already checked; our venue does allow it.

Yeah I thought about just going through the bakery at Walmart or something. But Sams Club is a good idea; I didn't think of them. They may be cheaper than Walmart and have bigger quantities and still be good.

manateehugger · July 2013

sjw6789 said:

We've already checked; our venue does allow it.

Yeah I thought about just going through the bakery at Walmart or something. But Sams Club is a good idea; I didn't think of them. They may be cheaper than Walmart and have bigger quantities and still be good.

FYI Costco sheet cakes are GLORIOUS.

Edit: and I strongly recommend against recruiting family and friends to bake for you.

Viczaesar · July 2013

michellemayawheeler said:

It is okay,if it is intermediate family and close freinds. The occassion is organized with a meeting.
Then you know what is going to be brought and not any confusion.

No. It's not okay to ask people to cater your wedding for you. And what is intermediate family?

sjw6789 · July 2013

PDKH said:
FYI Costco sheet cakes are GLORIOUS.

Yeah I'm definitely starting to lean toward the Costco/Sams Club route. Do you know about how much they are? Their website has prices for stuff like bunt cakes and other prepackaged products but I couldn't find info on special order sheet cakes.

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

If your family offers you can take them up on it, but it's not ok to ask them to do it "in lieu of a gift" (gifts are optional, so it sounds like you were expecting them to give one and justifying the ask this way).

Unless you can make everything yourself, I would go the costco or local grocery/bakery route. If you want to get a small round cake to cut (put some flowers on it so it looks professional) and then serve sheet cake, that's definitely a cost-effective option.

manateehugger · July 2013

I think the Costco cakes are between $15-$17 per cake. Some specialty flavors are more expensive. They serve about 35-40 if I remember correctly.

And I'm glad you're leaning this route. It isn't appropriate to ask anyone to do something for your wedding before they offer.

itzMS · July 2013

sjw6789 said:

My fiance and I have decided that we do not want to have the one fancy traditional wedding cake. We are on a limited budget, fancy cakes are expensive, and neither one of us are too concerned about upholding tradition. Our idea then is to have a dessert table with multiple items; something for everyone basically, e.g. cookies, brownies, cupcakes, etc.

Our current idea is to recruit several members of our friends and family to bake something. Disclaimer: we are absolutely not asking any one or few people to take on a huge load. We're simply asking for one person each to make one batch of cupcakes, or a dozen cookies, or something else small, maybe in lieu of a gift or something. We would certainly never place the burden of providing desserts for 150+ people on only a couple of people.

Is this OK? I know if any of my friends ever asked me to do something like this I would do it happily. But that's just me. I'm asking because I honestly just don't know if this would be received well, and if the majority tells me it's a bad idea I won't do it.

You're going to end up with a bunch of the slice-and-bake cookies, box-mix brownies, and other store bought items anyways.

Just do a dessert order through a grocery store like others have suggested.

LiLe422 · July 2013

scribe95 said:

Yeah this doesn't seem any different than potluck to me. Just only desserts. Lots of places can provide reasonable desserts. But by doing multiple ones you might be right at the cost of a large cake.

Exactly. Completely inappropriate, OP. I am with others whom suggested grocery store cakes/desserts.

sjw6789 · July 2013

PDKH said:

I think the Costco cakes are between $15-$17 per cake. Some specialty flavors are more expensive. They serve about 35-40 if I remember correctly.

That's not bad at all. We could certainly get more than one. And packages of cookies are like $5. I wouldn't be surprised if we could do all of this for around $100, which I'm OK with.

Thanks everyone for the input. This is my first time planning a wedding after all.

deannagirly · July 2013

You could casually mention it to family/friends "oh we're not having a wedding cake, just a bunch of little deserts" and if they're like oh well I'd love to bring something, then let them. But don't put the task on anybody, only if they voulunteer, also be careful when you mention it that it doesn't seem like you are asking them.

Otherwise, Costco sheet cakes are pretty and you can get them to write things on them, here they cost 17.99 for one of the basic ones (many options) but I beleive you can get them to do other things as well, and a sheet cake will feed 30-40 people.

EDIT: Also, as far as cookies go, Safeway has HUGE packs of cookies for $5, they probably have about 40 cookies in them, and the red velvet cookies are to die for, all of the cookies are moist and delicious. I think they're only $5 with a club card (which is free to sign up for) otherwise they're $10

NOLAbridealmost · July 2013

sjw6789 said:

PDKH said:

I think the Costco cakes are between $15-$17 per cake. Some specialty flavors are more expensive. They serve about 35-40 if I remember correctly.

That's not bad at all. We could certainly get more than one. And packages of cookies are like $5. I wouldn't be surprised if we could do all of this for around $100, which I'm OK with.

Thanks everyone for the input. This is my first time planning a wedding after all.

Great call! Stick around!

coolwhipz1 · July 2013

Unless I had specifically offered to bake something for a friend I would be super annoyed that I was asked to bring something to a wedding. I wouldn't tell you that to your face though. And depending on time I would probably just end up buying something.

I happen to make cakes, and although I really like doing it I get annoyed when people assume I'll make them one for free, or that I like to do it for EVERY family event.

OP-----figure out a way to not have your guests bring something.

Bringing in multiple desserts- OK to ask for help?

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