FMIL and FFIL have gotten married 33 years ago on September 6th. When we have decided to get married on September 7th, we didn't think about this and later, when they reminded us we were like "Ok well, I guess they'll have dinner together on that night and that is perfectly fine!"
We are having a wedding in Las Vegas. We have a about 20 guests coming. FMIL is all over herself and wants to be the center of the attention all the time (for example, the dress she'll be wearing at the wedding is a long electric blue dress... Not a "normal" blue, *electric* blue). When we told her we were getting married in Las Vegas, she seriously said, at a family dinner, that it would be a great idea to renew their vows there! Fortunately, FI's uncle was there and told her "First, you don't renew your vows on a 33rd anniversary. and also, why trying to steal the spotlight of your son who's getting married the day after?". She shut up and swallowed.
But recently her and FFIL have still decided to do something special. They are going to have dinner and have decided to invite most of the wedding guests! Last weekend, they saw my dad and his girlfriend and they invited them. My dad thought it was super rude saying "We're going to Vegas to celebrate you, not them. What is her problem? Can't she just have an intimate dinner with her husband?" and I replied "No, she can't".
What also makes me feel miserable is that FI's parents have much more money than we do. It's ok, they do whatever they want with their money especially if they want to celebrate and stay at a nicer hotel than ours but I know that just their anniversary dinner will be more classy than our wedding reception. If you know Las Vegas a little, they have decided to have their dinner at Maggiano's while we're having our reception at Le Village Buffet. It's not that I'm jealous of their money (although, if you have read another thread I wrote I'm pissed at the fact they told us they would help us with the wedding cost and they haven't while they pay the trip and all expenses for my FI's brother who's soon turning 27) but I sure don't want to feel like their anniversary dinner is more special than our wedding when the whole purpose of going to Vegas is our wedding.
FI and I aren't very please with their decision to have a big celebration the day before our wedding. My dad and his girlfriend told FI's parents they won't join them because they have other plans planned but we don't know what to do... My MOH is arriving that day so I told FMIL I wasn't sure I could attend because I want to welcome my friend and spend some time with her before the big day because she needs to know a few things to assist me during the wedding. I just let a door open to see her reaction and just by saying this FMIL started to sulk. FI doesn't want to go either.
FI doesn't want me to tell his parents the truth. He says it will cause drama for absolutely nothing. He says we better just find a reason (like my friend arriving) as it will cause less drama.
Is it me or it's rude from them? What would you do? I don't want to not attend and then having her complain about this all day the day after and I don't want to go as I don't want to feel my wedding is less special than just her anniversary dinner (and I don't want her to steal our spotlight). We are already having plans with them on the Thursday, before the bachelor's and bachelorette parties.
Thanks for your input!