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Bride with a Plus One Problem

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Re: Bride with a Plus One Problem

  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited July 2013
    mstuttle12 said:
    She will know a lot of other guests at the wedding, plus, she knows my entire family.  I guess I just figured that she (along with the other single people in the WP) would be busy most of the day being in the wedding, then taking pictures, that it really wouldn't make a difference.  I go to weddings with my fiance and end up dancing the night away with my girlfriends most of the time anyway.

    If she did get a plus one, I feel as though I would have to open it up to a lot of other people, which we don't have the space in the venue or the budget for.  I also told her to wait it out and we'll see when RSVP's start coming back if there will be room to add on plus ones for people.

    1) pictures are done shortly after ceremony ends, so she will be free during 90 percent of the reception

    2) CLEARLY, she is uncomfortable, what type of friend ignores that. You said she "begged", clearly that should be speaking to you if you care about her.

    Sure, she might know others, but if they are all couples, she still might be uncomfortable.

     3). Everyone here is telling you that it is NORMAL for bridal party to get an "guest", so if we ALL think it, so will your guests. They WILL understand

    I invited everyone with plus ones..As a person who was single for many years before getting married, I DREADED going to weddings alone. It was uncomfortable and always appreciated being able to bring a friend if i wasn't going to know anyone else.  I think once us brides shack up, we forget how hard that can be on single people. have some empathy, clearly she is asking for it

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  • schellzinatorschellzinator member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    All of our bridal party members and single guests will be receiving "plus ones" regardless of their relationship status.  I - like some PPs - have been that single person at a wedding that the bride and groom thought I'd be comfortable because I knew everyone. I always told myself that at my own wedding - I wouldn't make that decision for others. So FI and I adjusted our guest list to make sure everyone had that option. 

    I do get the budget aspect - however, she's a WP member - and also like previous posters - I'd make room for the potential plus one.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ohhhh I know- how about making her plus one be her bridesmaid gift!

    Oh wait. That's also a terrible idea. She's one of your nearest and dearest, supporting you on your big day, and I just don't get not wanting her to enjoy it.
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  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary

    I'm joining late, but give the girl a plus one. chances are she won't even bring someone, but she is doing a lot for you, you should let her be as comfortable as possible.

     

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  • mstuttle12mstuttle12 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Thank you everybody for the input!  Just wanted to update that I've thought it over and taken everything into perspective.  My FI and I did ultimately end up giving the entire BP plus ones.  :-)
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  • hmwang92088hmwang92088 member
    First Comment
    I'm sorry but after reading all of these post I can't help but say how horrible some of this advice is! Honestly it is your wedding not hers! My FI and I aren't giving our wedding party or our single guest's a +1. Financially we can't afford it and we haven't invited some our family because of that. I refuse to have some random person at my wedding that I don't know when I couldn't afford to invite all of my family. I have been that single girl before as well and honestly you make friends and have fun. It isn't about them it's about you and you FI! 
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  • LavenderHoneyBeeLavenderHoneyBee member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm going to be in a similar situation as you, and really don't know what I'll do yet. I'll might have 3 single BM's. I'd love to give them plus ones as they are in the WP. But I'd feel rude giving them plus ones, and not giving them to other single guests - I'd have about 4 single friends coming. I think it's odd to be like ohhh well the BMs got plus ones bc they are in the WP. But you aren't so, too bad for you! So then I feel like okay, maybe I should just give everyone a plus one even though I really don't want random strangers at my wedding?

    But anyways. This is a decision you'll have to make based on a lot of factors. Will this BM know other people? Is she traveling a distance? Would you know the plus one? Whatever you decide though, if you give her a plus one - you must give all other members of the WP a plus one.
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  • hmwang92088hmwang92088 member
    First Comment
    My budget has nothing to do with poor planning first of all. It is just simply because we can't afford it. I wish I could have everyone there but unfortunately that just wasn't in my cards. My house caught fire 7 months ago which kind of took precedence over my wedding. So it isn't because of poor budgeting it's because of priorities. And yes the people who have significant others did receive a +1. This wasn't about giving my friends the shaft, it was about being able to include as many people as possible. Maybe I just have really sociable friends that this really hasn't been an issue for me. Sorry you feel pressured by your friend and people in this blog to invite your friends +1.   
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    mstuttle12 said:
    Thank you everybody for the input!  Just wanted to update that I've thought it over and taken everything into perspective.  My FI and I did ultimately end up giving the entire BP plus ones.  :-)
    Good call!  It probably won't even make much difference budget-wise.  We gave everyone plus ones at our wedding, and budgeted for them.  Out of probably 10-15 single guests, only 1 chose to take advantage (and one other started a relationship between invite and RSVP time).  Taking their guests out of the budget was like winning $1000!
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  • LizM61409LizM61409 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Just my 2 cents... I once attended a wedding with FI, who was a groomsman. I really didn't know anyone else there (yes we were dating at the time but it was a bunch of his college friends who I hadn't met). It was pretty boring hanging around the hotel room while he had to get there early for pictures, really awkward sitting by myself for the ceremony as well as waiting for him to finish with the pictures after the ceremony. Yes, we eventually sat together for dinner but overall it was a pretty lame experience for me.

    This will be ten times worse for a date of a bridesmaid, seeing as there will be much more time apart before the wedding (hair, makeup, getting ready, etc etc). I have no idea why a single bridesmaid would want to subject a date to hours and hours of being alone and awkward for her "comfort" at the reception. That seems pretty selfish to me, having been on the other end of it
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    hmwang92088 said:
    My budget has nothing to do with poor planning first of all. It is just simply because we can't afford it. I wish I could have everyone there but unfortunately that just wasn't in my cards. My house caught fire 7 months ago which kind of took precedence over my wedding. So it isn't because of poor budgeting it's because of priorities. And yes the people who have significant others did receive a +1. This wasn't about giving my friends the shaft, it was about being able to include as many people as possible. Maybe I just have really sociable friends that this really hasn't been an issue for me. Sorry you feel pressured by your friend and people in this blog to invite your friends +1.   
    Then I apologize, your original post came off wrong to me. I still think wedding party members should be given a plus 1 considering all they've done for (general) you. I'm sorry to hear about your home. Single guests don't require plus ones. To me it sounded like no one would get a plus one and you were saying tough cookies. Sorry :-)

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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