What does "black tie optional" mean? We are having our reception at a mansion and it will be a formal sit down in the evening. My relatives suggested making it "black tie optional." I'm considering it I guess, but I don't know what it would mean for my guests. Opinions? Past experiences?
And try not to get too negative, please. I noticed some ladies have strong feelings on the subject; let's keep it a calm discussion. I just want to get some info. Thanks!
Re: Black Tie Optional?
there is no such thing as "black tie optional". It's either black tie, or it isn't. Black tie means more than just wearing a tux or an evening gown. It is also the nature of what you are hosting. Top shelf, hosted bar; high end appetizers and meal; valet service; etc.
If you are having an evening wedding in a mansion, you should trust that your guests will dress appropriately. Unless you are having a truly black tie event, don't ever suggest attire on your invitations or elsewhere.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
I think it also depends on your crowd - most of our friends own tuxes, so they like a reason to dust them off and wear them (i would expect 70-80 percent will be in black tie). If your friends are more causal, it might not work as well, as southernbelle has experienced. I definitely would not want a lot of ppl to have to go buy or rent something just to attend the wedding.
Black tie "invited" is no different than "optional". It's just a different word. Don't tell people how to dress unless it's an actual black tie event. @thebaysidebride without further details, I don't know if your event was actually a black tie event, but for the most part, most people's events aren't.
A lot of brides come here and they are hosting their event in a Marriott ballroom and want to ask for black tie. um. no.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
An event is either posh enough to be black tie, or it's not. If you tell or hint to people to show up in black tie formalwear, you'd better pamper the heck out of them or they're going to resent dropping 400 to 600 dollars on their outfits.
Haha no, queerfemme, it's at a very high end resort, three days of hosted parties, multi-course meals, formal invites, the works. It's basically a full-on NYC wedding, by the ocean in New England. Nothing informal about it. Our crowd seems to have absolutely no problem with it, they're excited to break out the formal attire, and the few who are already up near our place without their tuxes are wearing dark suits.
Etiquette-wise, I have no qualms w/ this, and neither do our guests. The few who don't have tuxes with them appreciate that dark suits suffice.
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The formality of the event is relayed by the invitation style and the venue. A tuxedo is never inappropriate for a truly formal event. But, in all honesty, for the most part these days, weddings RARELY reach the level of that formality anymore.
ETA: Kinda like asking your guests to dress up and giving them a drink ticket. People want people to dress formal, but they rarely host them in that capacity.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
You never mention attire on invites unless your venue has an actual dress code (some country clubs) or you are actually having a black or white tie event.
A mansion and a groom in a tux do not a black tie event make.
To quote @Stagemanager14, black tie events begin after 6pm and have the following criteria:
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."