Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Non RSVPers

EPalmer2013EPalmer2013 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Can anyone tell me whether or not it is tacky for the bride to call anyone who has not RSVP'd to find out if they are coming or not?  It is very frustrating to think of all the time that goes in to the invites, addressing, and over all planning and then on top of it I have to call each person.  Is there someone else I can dictate this little task too or is it up to me to call?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Non RSVPers

  • EPalmer2013EPalmer2013 member
    10 Comments
    They were mailed in May and July 1st was the deadline.
    Report Reply
  • KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You should definitely get in touch with them. It is so rude that they haven't RSVPd. If it were me, I would have the person closest to them call. For example, if it were on my fiancé's side (an aunt of his), I would ask him or my mother-in-law. If it were my friend I would call. My aunt, I could ask my mom to call (but she might say no. Some people aren't willing to do it).
    Report Reply
  • meggiemomeggiemo member
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I did exactly what PP said. We waited a few days, then I asked the "closest" person to them to call. FMIL called her family, my mom called my family, he called his friends.
    Report Reply
  • EPalmer2013EPalmer2013 member
    10 Comments

    Good plan on having others help.  I'm going ask my dad and my grandma for assistance.  Thank you.

    I'm sure other brides feel the same way. We worry about doing things by ettiquette even when the guests do not. 

    Report Reply
  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    When is your wedding?
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    EPalmer2013 said:
    They were mailed in May and July 1st was the deadline.
    Yes - I would call them. It's not rude or tacky to do so. It's almost two weeks after your deadline. Your wedding must be very soon and I'm sure your caterer needs your final numbers.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • MoxieMickieMoxieMickie member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    When they are contacted, be sure to give a default action, like "if I don't hear otherwise by X I will assume you are not coming."
    Report Reply
  • KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MoxieMickie said:

    When they are contacted, be sure to give a default action, like "if I don't hear otherwise by X I will assume you are not coming."

    Yes, good idea!
    I might also leave an email address in addition to leaving my phone number if i get a voicemail. Less phone tag that way.
    Report Reply
  • BarbLovesDaveBarbLovesDave member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper

    You need to be proactive and contact the non-RSVP-ers. It need not be you, personally, the bride. Could be the groom, parents, etc. It has to be someone discreet and reliable.

    Be sure to make it clear that the default answer is "decline".

    "If I don't hear from you in the next two days, I will mark you down as having declined."

    Report Reply
  • LAM524LAM524 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Def. reach out. Maybe they haven't received it! I agree with others. Make an default answer..."If...then."

    tinkerbell gif photo: Tinkerbell stuck in keyhole animated gif Peterpan2_coince9e.gif
    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    When is your actual wedding?



    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    OP, in April you said you were getting married in the fall. Now you're saying that you sent invitations in May with an RSVP deadline July 1. This doesn't add up.



    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards