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Indian Wedding - Can the bride attend the baraat?

Laurenbentley927Laurenbentley927
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I am Caucasian and my fiance is Indian so we are having a fusion wedding - Catholic and Hindu. This is my first Indian wedding so I've had to learn a lot about the Indian traditions. Most of our guests are not familiar with Indian weddings...only about 20-30% of our guests are Indian, so really only my fiance's family will know what traditionally is done. We are planning on having a baraat, and I recently learned that the bride isn't "supposed" to be part of the baraat at all..I'm supposed to wait inside by myself, peering out a window, watching everyone else have a blast. I'm wondering if it is totally unheard of for the bride to join her family to be there when the groom arrives. That way I would at least get to see everything and feel a part of it. Is this totally disrespectful or unheard of? I've been trying to find examples of brides joining the baraat (or the end of it) but am not finding much. Thank you for your help!
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Re: Indian Wedding - Can the bride attend the baraat?

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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is there a reason you aren't consulting his family on this?

    Are you getting married in a Catholic church? I'm not Catholic, but from what I understand, you must be married within a Catholic church or your marriage will not be recognized by the Church and you will not be considered to be in communion (someone correct me if I'm wrong). If you are getting married in the church, be sure to clear your "fusion" with your priest before planning anything. 

    I can't be of help to you - I've never seen a bride attend a baraat itself (though I have seen come in later during the last part of dinner). The baraat is the ceremony during which your family and friends are supposed to "accept" your groom. Your parents would have a significant role to play during the procession - are they prepared to do that? Not to mention, the bride's parents traditionally pay for this part of the ceremony.

    Most importantly, however, you should be asking your FI's family what they would prefer to do - I'm sure they have a way of doing things (baraat customs can vary by region - some more traditionalist communities don't even let women attend). Please don't adopt your FI's family's traditions only to do them undue cultural justice. 
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    tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2013
    Definitely talk with your FI's family about this. You want to honor their traditions, not stir them up right?

    @PDKH said it best: "Please don't adopt your FI's family's traditions only to do them undue cultural justice."
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    smith5jmsmith5jm member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I am also Caucasian and my fiancé is indian and we are doing a fusion wedding. For what it's worth, when I asked my MIL if I could watch the baraat, she said I could if i wanted. I later decided that I didn't want FI to see me until I come down the aisle, so I may just peek out during the baraat. We just went to FI's cousins wedding and the bride didn't watch the baraat. I agree- ask your FI's family.
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    ttandmtttandmt member
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    LOL Bride can not be part of bharat! But it will really be exciting to see and hear from a distance! I think it will really build up the anticipation. No one is supposed to see the bride in all her bridal wear before her entrance to the mandap. 
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    FernellaFernella member
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    My aunts are Hindus and I've been to several Indian weddings.  The bride never attends the bharat, sorry.
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    melb2013melb2013 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    My husband is Indian and I'm not.  We did a fusion ceremony.  I've been to several mixed couple weddings, but have only seen a baraat when both people were Indian.  It seemed to be a very unimportant aspect to my husband's family and they only see it as something necessary when the wedding is very traditional.  When I have seen the baraat, I have never seen the bride attend- I think it sort of defeats the purpose and the traditional idea of the baraat.  I think if you don't like the idea of not attending the baraat, then you and your husband need to rethink the entire idea of doing the baraat.  

    One piece of advice that I learned while planning our fusion ceremony- do what is important and meaningful to both of you.  The ceremony is the only part of the wedding that should be totally about you and your husband- don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel comfortable with.  It sounds like you do not feel comfortable with the idea of the baraat- I don't either so it was never a consideration for us.

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