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weight loss for the big day??

Hey Everyone! 

I think I have a dilema here.  I'm a plus sized bride, size 28, and I'm getting married in a little over a year.  I've been getting the "so are you going to lose any weight for the wedding" questions recently and I'm not sure how I want to respond.  While I'm a size 28 I don't eat particularly unhealthy, and exercise semi regularly.    Recently I had this crazy idea that I was going to lose over 100lbs before my wedding, but I realized that I was being unrealistic.  My fiance keeps saying how much he loves my curves and loves me just the way I am.  I know it's common for brides to try and lose weight before the wedding, but should I bow to the pressure? Or should I just keep eating healthy and working out and see what happens? Also, if I decide I'm not going to worry about my weight how do I politely tell people that it's none of their business?

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Re: weight loss for the big day??

  • I think it is rude for them to ask in the first place. Not to mention if you lose weight for anyone other than yourself....you wont keep it off. Now that being said, if you feel like you would feel more confident on your big day...then go for it!!
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  • Thanks. It's incredibly rude, but I don't know how to politely tell them. And I'm not sure if Ill feel more confident or not. My fiancé's family is all smaller people, so maybe I won't get the weird looks from them, but I have no idea.
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2013
    im a street size 22 and had to order my gown in a 26 in my lowest i was a size 14 and that was over 13 years ago. my mom keeps pusing me to loose weight i know i have to. to get myself to a better state health wise ( not on any meds) i plan on looseing only 20-30 lbs so my dress does not have to be altered that much. 

    dont let anyone presure u do what feels right in your heart talk it over with ur fiance would he mind u to loose a few lbs  dont let your family bulley you into doing something u are not comfortable with 
  • I think the "are you going to lose weight for your wedding" question is pretty similar to the "when are you going to have kids" question.  It's rude to ask, very personal, and no one's damned business.  I have no problem telling someone (generally my mother) that it's none of their business to inquire about my weight. 
  • Thanks guys! I appreciate it. I mean I want to get healthy, and I'm not at a healthy weight now, but I feel like weight loss should be on my terms not anyone elses. I'm just annoyed that's one of the first questions I get when I tell people that I'm getting married.
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  • Answer a rude question with a smart-a** question:

    I need to lose weight?? (surprised look)
    When are you losing weight? (serious look)
  • I know what you mean.. I was offered diet pills from a family friend the other day so I could lose weight for the wedding.. People can be so rude and hurtful.

  • realblonde474realblonde474 member
    Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    edited July 2013

    People are terrible...



  • My husband and I are both larger. I decided that he asked me to marry him at the size I was and I said yes at the size he was. So i didn't feel the need to lose weight for the wedding. We opted that any weight would be to get healthier (we didn't eat healthy or exercise) to live a long life together and for no other reason.
  • You shouldn't lose weight for anyone other than yourself. I think there is an unspoken expectation for women to slim down to an unrealistic weight before their wedding, but its not even logical. Eat healthy, work out for yourself, and attempt to make a realistic goal (IF YOU WANT TO) but don't overdo it. Think of it this way, what if you purchased a dress (before your weight loss), would you fit into it if you lost 100 lbs? It would be very difficult to alter a dress with such an extreme weight loss.

    If you reach a weight that you feel good about before your wedding, who cares what others think? Their comments may be hurtful, but don't play into it. People are cruel, people suck, and often they don't realize that words have a negative effect on people. Keep your head high, and do what you want to do. 

    In terms of telling others to back off, say that it is not something you'd like to discuss at this time, but **you are working on it ** (if you choose to do so, you can nix the working on it part). Their comments are rude, but be cordial, you will be doing the right thing. Going on the offensive, and making the other person feel defensive will only make things worse. 

    realblonde474[Deleted User]Ven&Radio
  • I also just heard the other day someone discussing their dress....I LOVE that they talked about people knowing your size and not expecting that to change just because you are in a dress. I think I am keeping this in mind for my dress shopping!!!

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  • Ohhh good advice ahende04.  I'm going dress shopping in a couple weeks, i'm going to need to remember that.

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  • I agree with what everyone is saying. I was always smaller in high school and after having been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid I gained a lot of weight. My mom also keeps pressuring me to lose weight but I would never do it for anyone but myself as you shouldn't either! If you're happy with who YOU are then don't let the negative people bring you down.
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  • Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the support.  I know it's pointless to lose weight for anyone but myself.  I think I'm just going to get happy/healthy and then whatever size that is then so be it. 
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  • Don't let ANYONE bring you down. The fact they are asking you that is absolutely disgusting. I would flat out say "My FI loves me just the way I am thank you." and call it a day. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Nobody deserves that, no matter what weight they are. 
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  • I think it's great that you want to be healthy! With that, just keep doing what you are doing and see where it leads you.  If you lose weight before the wedding great!  If not, then your FI is going to still love you.  

    As for those asking, I would just politely tell them that you are working on being healthy and that IS the bigger goal.
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  • That's such a great attitude! I'm in a similar situation, where people are asking me if I plan on losing weight for the wedding.  I'm doing a bit more physically than I have in the past (which was almost nothing... oops) and just working on toning the arms up.

    And I echo everyone else's thoughts and feelings on the "are you going to lose weight?" thing.  It's rude and it's none of their damn business.
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