I just got married about three weeks ago. I thought this would be the happiest time of my life, but on Friday morning my Dad passed away in his sleep. It was very sudden and very unexpected. He wasn't sick at all. On Thursday, he went to work and Mom said he seemed just like his usual self, no complaints. The coroner said he had bad heart problems and had even had a heart attack sometime in the past, but none of us ever knew that, not even my Dad.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I never expected a loss like this to happen so soon. He was young. 61. Three weeks ago he was walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at my wedding and now he's gone. I have no desire to look at any of our wedding pictures now. I just can't. I can't even believe that just a week ago I was on here bitching about not being happy with my wedding pictures. What a stupid, petty thing to complain about! If I ever get to the point where I can look at them again, I'm going to treasure them all because they're the last pictures I'll ever have of my Dad.
I always knew my parents would most likely pass on before I did, but I always pictured that happening much later in life, like when I was in my 50s and had grown children. I never thought I would experience a loss like this while I am still writing thank you notes and changing my last name. I'm so grateful he at least could be there for the wedding. He got to walk me down the aisle, give a toast, and dance the father-daughter dance with me. I'll always cherish those memories, but I also feel tremendous guilt that my younger sister will never get to do any of that with Dad. I got to and she never will. It kills me that he will never get to be a grandpa. My future children will never meet him. And it kills me to think of my Mom as a widow.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't even enjoy being a newlywed now because I feel so devastated. I'm trying so hard to hold it together and be strong for my two younger siblings and my poor mom. I guess that's why I came on here. I had to let it out somewhere. Thankfully, my husband has been so wonderful and supportive. He's done so much to help me and my whole family. He's wonderful, but I feel bad that he has the burden of helping me through a loss like this only 3 weeks into our marriage.
I guess I just needed to let out all my feelings. If anyone has been through something like this, any advice or guidance will be much appreciated. Thank you very much to anyone who actually took the time to read all this.
