Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Readings-

When you ask someone to read at your wedding. Do you give them what you want them to read, or do you allow them to find something they feel is appropriate??

Re: Readings-

  • We asked our friend to read a specific reading we have chosen.

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  • We will select our readings and then ask friends/family if they would like to be a reader.  When we pick who will be doing the reading, we'll make sure that it is appropriate to that person (don't have someone read something they don't believe in/agree with).  Since we are getting married in a church and all of our readings will be from the Bible, that means all of our readers will be Christian, although we may have one of our Jewish friends read a passage from the Old Testament.  
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • KD+ARKD+AR member
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    OK thanks Ladies. 

    I am not having a religious ceremony. But the person I am asking to read is religious. I don't want them to jump a head and pick something out of the bible. I am not religious and neither is my FH. I don't want to have to tell the person no. Thant would make for a really uncomfortable situation.
  • KD+AR said:
    OK thanks Ladies. 

    I am not having a religious ceremony. But the person I am asking to read is religious. I don't want them to jump a head and pick something out of the bible. I am not religious and neither is my FH. I don't want to have to tell the person no. Thant would make for a really uncomfortable situation.
    I totally understand your feelings.  I would select a reading with your FH that you would like this person to read before asking him or her.  Then you can present it as, "We would be honored if you would read this at our wedding."
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • ditto @NYCBruin. Ask them to read X, not just be a reader.
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  • If it were my wedding, I'd probably first ask the person if they'd like to do a reading, and if they say yes, consult with them on the reading.  I'd want it to be something that would have meaning for me and my FI, and wouldn't take too long for the person to read or contain material that none of us are comfortable with.  I'd also probably consult with my officiant too.
  • We asked our readers to read a specific piece.  In every wedding where I've been a reader, I've also been given a specific piece to read.
  • Just to give a different perspective: the one reader we will have has been asked to be a reader and to pick whatever selection he finds appropriate.

    The reader is my grandfather, who is very involved in the church we are getting married in. FI is not religious, but we both decided to get married in my church (my grandparent's church). Frankly, I do not know any good readings from the bible, mostly because I've never read it! My grandpa, on the other hand, does an amazing job at choosing verses for toasts, prayers before meals, and so forth. We thought we'd defer to the expert.

    On the other hand, we may choose a reading (a non-biblican reading) for another friend/loved one to read, if we ever get around to it...
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  • There is no way I'd just let someone pick something.  But, that's just me. I would say "these are the readings we would like you to read.  Let me know if you have some objection to any of them"
  • Every time I've read at a wedding it's been a reading selected by the couple. I agree with PPs - you and your FI pick the reading.
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  • I picked the reading. The reader can always decline if they don't want to read it for any reason.

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  • KD+ARKD+AR member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Awesome. We have a few ideas that we like. I will ask first, then present the reading to her. If she wants to decline at that point she can.
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