No reception...

Mango Margarita · July 2013

sarjhawk said:

Interesting discussion! I too am really trying to stay true to my budget. Its easy to get carried away. We have roughly 80 people coming (or that is our guess). Does anyone konw of a place without a food minimum where we could do heavy apps in a casual atmosphere? Anyone know of any places on the strip where you can bring in your own food/drinks?

MarBella is a tapas restaurant next to the Palms with private rooms and no minimums (last I knew).

mbenoit03 · July 2013

We had a lunch reception from 12-3 at Maggiano's for 45 adults and 5 children. They served sodas/teas/coffee, buffet style; 3 chibata style sandwiches, salads, potato salad, orzo, chips, fruit, and dessert it all was pretty tasty. There Calabria room minimum was $1,000. We had a cash bar and brought in our own decorations, cake, and ipod. Our bill at Maggiano's was $1,350 (service charge included). We couldn't have been happier with Maggiano's and felt this was our perfect reception on a budget.

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

In order to stay in budget we are having something in our suite. To some it may be cheesy or tacky but we are ordering sand which platters, chicken platters and potatoe salad. And also cake. We are only expecting 15-20 guests. We can't really afford to spend 2000+ on this plus we will only have 90 min for this since we are doing a strip tour with our guests 2 hours after our ceremony

mbenoit03 · July 2013

@Valeriecruz82 girl i love your idea!! i do not think this is tacky at all, and who cares what others think this is your guys big day and your money!!! In the end it all comes down to you and your husband's future. if you and your guests are having fun, trust me they will remember the fun (DDB tour) more then the food/favors/appetizers etc. We had our wedding on a strict budget cus we paid for 95% of it and we'd rather use our hard earned money, towards a first home for us, rather then a $15,000 wedding. We would not have changed anything!!

wrigleyville · July 2013

SnowWhite, there are so many things rude and wrong with your posts I don't even know where to start.

All of you who think this is YOUR DAY and, therefore, you can be rude and dismissive of your guests (and one of you said to not even call them "guests", just to justify not hosting them, which is absolutely horrible), you are so wrong it makes me want to shriek in etiquette horror.

You are not king and queen of the world. It is not an HONOR to watch you get married. Get over yourselves.

If I spent money to go to Vegas after you invited me, I would assume you'd treat me like a guest and at least pay for some pizzas and soda. If you're having a wedding somewhere like the MGM Grand and then say you can't even afford $50 of freaking pizza and soda, I'm going to judge you HARDCORE and our relationship will never, ever be the same.

Your guests may not say that to your faces, but I guarantee some or all of them are thinking it. I guar-an-tee it.

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

And it really does depend on where you live, of course you can always go the easy way and get married at a court house but to have a decent wedding in los Angeles where we live was going to be 7000 just to RENT out the facilities for our ceremony and reception. That to me is insane so in Vegas I'm spending half the price 3-4000 on something in Vegas. No I'm not having a fancy reception at a restaurant but I am having a small in suite reception and feeding our guests and will be leaving all of them welcome bags in their rooms for them.

Some people are better off keeping their mouths closed.

SnowWhiteMontreal · July 2013

@Wringleyville

I've read many of your posts on the Etiquette forum so your reply here doesn't surprise me. It's your opinion and I respect it. However, no I am not getting married at MGM or any fancy place (Excalibur if you want to know).

I'm spending over $400 to take whoever wants to join us on a Strip Tour with booze included. To me, it's a much more memorable moment than whatever food I would have been able to afford. Yes, I prefered paying $400 for that activity than food. I know in the end they will remember this unique experience longer than any meal may it be cheap pizza or a banquet.

So I'm not all over myself as you may think. I am thanking those who are joining us. Just not the way proper etiquette says. And to me, Vegas isn't all about proper etiquette to start with.

The invitations have been sent months ago and I have received more replies than expected. We wanted to keep it small and there will be people we haven't invited in the first place coming because they think it's awesome to go to Vegas and asked us if they could come and they truly don't care if we don't host them with a meal (they are enchanted by the idea of the Strip Tour though). It will not come as a surprise the day of the wedding that the meal isn't included. People have been warned before hand and they knew everything before sending the reply cards.

Whatever you may think, I don't feel my friends and family judging me. You know, it might be different in the USA but in Quebec it's pretty common for the bride and groom to write in the invitations that if people want to join them for supper, they will have to pay. And no, we don't feel it's rude. I'd rather pay for my meal at a wedding than knowing the bride and groom had gotten into debts just to thank me for being there. I don't attend a wedding to have a free meal. I attend a wedding because I love the bride and groom and just want to witness this special moment. I dare to think my friends and family think the same.

We have two different points of view. I see yours is much more judgmental but eh - what can I do.

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

exactly how I feel! we are paying for 95% of everything too! Both my parents have passed away so we don't have much help! and in the end I think its about us being happy, requardless of what anyone thinks

As long as we are feeding our guests to show our appreciation I think that's important but it don't have to be at a fancy place! ohh and I loved your cake!

wrigleyville · July 2013

I wasn't addressing you, specifically, about the pizza thing, Snow White. Booze and a strip tour is fine; at least you're doing something. I was addressing the other people who are chiming in with the, "Yeah! Forget those people! They should just be happy they get to witness our wedding!"

I disagree that hosting a wedding in Vegas means etiquette flies out the window. It's still a wedding. Being in Vegas doesn't make it any less real. It doesn't give people a pass to skip feeding (or boozing) their guests.

The bit about being rude for the sake of having a "magical" wedding that costs more is purely ridiculous and selfish.

Also, your snide comment about my comments on the E board have no place here. I'm sorry if being proper, gracious, and interested in my guests' comfort irritates anyone. I probably missed all those lessons on how to think and act like a pretty princess.

nursing2u · July 2013

Now now ladies... THIS... we don't do here... We are here to help and be NICE..

wrigleyville · July 2013

I tried to help, and I tried to be nice about it, but I'm done. I'm done with all of these entitled brides who think they can jet off to Vegas and chalk up their rudeness under "But it's Vegas! But my family understands! But my daddy is paying and we don't have any money for burgers for everyone! (That was on the E board.) It's okay to be tacky in Vegas! It's not a REAL wedding! (Also on the E board.)"

So. Freaking. Done.

Good luck planning your Pretty Princess Days, girls. Seriously. I hope it's a blast and you still have friends after you parade yourselves around all day and can't even be bothered to feed anyone in the process, all because you can afford Vegas but god forbid you buy a freaking hamburger.

While you're at it, maybe you can check Pinterest for Honeyfund jars and a bunch of other ways to screw over your guests for more worship and entitlements! Don't forget the Dollar Dance and cash bar!

wrigleyville · July 2013

Oh, and we COULD have a JOP wedding in our town where weddings cost a billion dollars, but JOP weddings aren't MAGICAL, and I DESERVE MAGIC. So I'm going to spend $5000 in Vegas, plus hotel and airfare, but screw all you people who want me to feed you! But hey, thanks for coming and buying me a present and taking pictures of meeeeeeeeeeeee.

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

Wrigley I get where your coming from but you referred to a lot of what they have been saying on the E board so why not rant on that board since it seems like that's where most of your frustration is coming from? Just sayin..

SD210 · July 2013

Wow, there is an unusually large amount of negative energy today here on the ol' Vegas board! Yikes!

<< (scurries off to Etsy and pinterest where there will be less yelling) >>

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

Lol I love those sites! I've been on etey non stop trying to find someone to bling my heels for me!

nursing2u · July 2013

I dont know what just happened...

I planned to stay and be supportive to brides that ive gotten close to.. BUT... if this.. is how things are going to be... mayb I wont...

ive been on the Vegas boars for 14 months and have NEVER... seen this...smdh

vegasgroom · July 2013

I'm glad to see that nearly everyone in this thread is doing something for their guests to thank them for coming. Vegas is NOT cheap from a guest's perspective; whether you're on strip, off strip or at a Motel 6, you can assume each party of two you invite to your wedding will probably be spending between $1000 and $2000 at a minimum once you factor in airfare from anywhere more than an hour away, cab fare, hotels and meals, for the 'privilege' of being present at your wedding. I will argue all day that people deserve some form of event thanking them for attending and it sounds like everyone here is doing that whether it be a strip tour and booze to an in-suite to a restaurant.

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

@Wringleyville

I'm spending over $400 to take whoever wants to join us on a Strip Tour with booze included. To me, it's a much more memorable moment than whatever food I would have been able to afford. Yes, I prefered paying $400 for that activity than food. I know in the end they will remember this unique experience longer than any meal may it be cheap pizza or a banquet.
So I'm not all over myself as you may think. I am thanking those who are joining us. Just not the way proper etiquette says. And to me, Vegas isn't all about proper etiquette to start with.

I'm not typically the drama type, but at the same time I've found it very rare to disagree with just about anyone on this board prior to your posts in this thread. I feel a lot of what you post is a bit hypocritical or simply over the top from either a selfish or at least self-indulging perspective. In the above you say you're spending over $400 to take your guests out on a strip tour as if this is something you are doing just for them. Well, previously you stated:

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

We too sent out invitation saying "Looking for a reason to visit Las Vegas? Attend the wedding of..." and with the invitation we explained that we are indeed eloping but if they want to join us, they are more than welcome but we cannot afford paying anything for them except a Strip Tour in a DDB (which we have booked even before sending the invitation and we would have kept it even if nobody came because WE wanted it...

First of all, you're not eloping, you just invited people to your wedding. Eloping is going to get married without involving anyone else. Calling it eloping to get out of feeling obligated to do anything for your guests is not reasonable. Anyway, you said you already booked the DDB before choosing to send invites to your elopment. So you were already spending this money on yourselves before committing to have guests, and now that you have guests, you're changing it up to spending $400 on them? Strictly speaking, you're spending the same amount you already had chosen to spend and the activity you had chosen to do now includes guests; i.e. you're spending no more now that you have guests compared to what you were spending before choosing to invite guests, and you're doing the same thing you had planned to do whether these guests attended or not.

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

The invitations have been sent months ago and I have received more replies than expected. We wanted to keep it small and there will be people we haven't invited in the first place coming because they think it's awesome to go to Vegas and asked us if they could come and they truly don't care if we don't host them with a meal (they are enchanted by the idea of the Strip Tour though). It will not come as a surprise the day of the wedding that the meal isn't included. People have been warned before hand and they knew everything before sending the reply cards.

So you're eloping, inviting guests to watch you elope, spending nothing on these guests (or at least no more than you were already spending on yourselves) and you invited more than you wanted on the hope that only a certain amount would attend; well, wanting to keep it small and inviting more than you want are mutually exclusive. Then on top of that you're adding people you didn't invite to begin with? That simply makes no sense to me.

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

Whatever you may think, I don't feel my friends and family judging me. You know, it might be different in the USA but in Quebec it's pretty common for the bride and groom to write in the invitations that if people want to join them for supper, they will have to pay. And no, we don't feel it's rude. I'd rather pay for my meal at a wedding than knowing the bride and groom had gotten into debts just to thank me for being there. I don't attend a wedding to have a free meal. I attend a wedding because I love the bride and groom and just want to witness this special moment. I dare to think my friends and family think the same.

We have two different points of view. I see yours is much more judgmental but eh - what can I do.

People in Quebec seriously send invites stating come to my event but if you choose to attend the meal, you'll have to pay? The funny thing about that is it was as common to not offer your guests a meal as you seem to think it is, you would never have to state that in the invite to begin with because guests would never assume a meal were being provided to begin with.

I always enjoy prefacing "I'm doing X" with "I don't feel anyone will mind" or "I did X" followed by "No one mentioned anything to me" or "Everyone said they loved it." Here's a simple fact; other than possibly very close relatives like siblings, I've never heard of anyone telling any bride/groom that they think or thought what was planned or what was done was a bad idea or that they had a bad time, even if they did think that.

We attended a Muslim/Hindu wedding recently. It was 450+ people. Attendees were made aware via word of mouth beforehand that there would be no alcohol for 'religious reasons'. The highlights of the evening included sitting at our tables for approximately 3.5 hours listening to music because the dance floor was being used to take pictures of the bride/groom, wedding party, family members and various sets of guests for the three hours following the dinner. At various times when I went to the hotel bar to get a $12 drink (this was an expensive hotel), I not only saw the bride or groom sneak out for a drink, but at one point the entire wedding party was doing shots and the parents from both sides were out there having drinks too. I personally think the no alcohol was more of a not wanting to spend the money on booze for 450 people, but either way, treating your wedding as a family reunion and basically neglecting the guests who were not part of the family wasn't such an enjoyable time, so yeah, I judged. And you know what? We sent a thank you note saying how great a time we had. I would never tell someone I had anything other than a great time at their wedding; it's their big day regardless of how I might feel about how it went and I'm not going to detract from that, nor are your guests likely to do so. So if everyone is telling you how great your idea sounds, other than anonymous people on the internet, take it with a grain of salt.

And then we'll wrap it up with exactly why I'm choosing to judge in this instance:

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

That is one of the reason why I decided to get married in Vegas because this wedding (with the travel expenses and the hotel for a whole week) PLUS another honeymoon at Walt Disney World is going to cost me about $10K.

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

At home, the only thing you can have for a few hundreds if getting married at Cityhall and have a BBQ at home (one of my friend did that.. $200 but no magic at all)

SnowWhiteMontreal said:

For those who cannot come, we totally agree and we are planning on having a party at home once we get back so everybody can look at the pictures, the video and celebrate with us! The wedding is about the bride and the groom first. And yes, it is allowed to think about ourselves first: it's our day.

To sum that all up; you're spending $10k on your honeymoon alone, but don't feel the need to spend more than zero on the guests you've invited to your elopment, or wedding, depending on what point you're trying to make at the time. You claim to not judge people yet the way you worded the description of your friend's $200 wedding and reception was pretty insulting; I'm doubting you told your friend her wedding had no magic at all. And then, as a final act of kindness, you're going to throw a party when you get back to let everyone look at your pictures of your awesome day. Ugh...

mbenoit03 · July 2013

@nursing2u its really unfortunate what this board has come to right? My wedding would have not been possible w/o all the help/advice/tips/reviews i read on here. But this is childish drama that i do not need in my new life so i wish you, and all the other bride's the best in your future, it was nice chatting with you all and thank you!! I'm sad that my reviews/opinion will not help anyone any further. I have emailed to delete my account because this is not what i come here to read about; all this battling....

vegasgroom · July 2013

mbenoit03 said:

@nursing2u its really unfortunate what this board has come to right? My wedding would have not been possible w/o all the help/advice/tips/reviews i read on here. But this is childish drama that i do not need in my new life so i wish you, and all the other bride's the best in your future, it was nice chatting with you all and thank you!! I'm sad that my reviews/opinion will not help anyone any further. I have emailed to delete my account because this is not what i come here to read about; all this battling....

I don't know if I'd call one thread drawing out some emotion the end of the board. There are numerous positive posts every day and new people arriving all the time. I still enjoy the board as much now as I did three years ago when I join because I love Vegas and I love hearing about Vegas weddings and trying to help people have great Vegas weddings.

Was there some other thread where someone criticized something you did or suggested? I didn't see anything addressing your posts in this thread and I'm sure many people will find your reviews useful, particularly the Calabria room at Maggianos since there were not a lot of reviews about that room specifically.

nursing2u · July 2013

Vegasgroom.. you are sooo right... I just want everyone to realize what were all here for.

The help I received.. is immeasurable!!!!
If my help or advice is appreciated... im here!!v

vegasgroom · July 2013

nursing2u said:

Vegasgroom.. you are sooo right... I just want everyone to realize what were all here for. The help I received.. is immeasurable!!!! If my help or advice is appreciated... im here!!v

We're here to party!

nursing2u · July 2013

PARTY!!! ABSOLUTELY.. That's exactly what we did last weekend!!!! Whoop Whoop!!!!

SnowWhiteMontreal · July 2013

Indeed, I didn't know my opinion would bring much drama. Sad. Really sad not to be able to say something that isn't the norm without being judged. You have way too much time on your hands to have read all my previous posts to analyse where I contradict myself (and I don't because even though I had booked the DDB i KNEW some people would come even before sending the invitations, and I didn't say it right, The $10K was for both trips to Vegas and Disney World and all others fees included.) But no matter how long I could try to keep on defending my point of view, you don't want to understand. All you try is trying to make me feel like a hypocrite bitch. I find it sad from someone who used to be a moderator here. I have been very polite and I just said a point of view that doesn't fit with yours and I deserve this treatment? Ok, fine. But don't ask yourself why some people are thinking about leaving. I may be wrong (to you) for not hosting the people who will attend my wedding, but I certainly didn't start the drama. In fact, I would have been much better without it as I certainly don't feel welcome here anymore (knowing that my previous posts are being stalked in order to put me down). Oh and again, fiy, yes in Quebec it's common to get in the invitation "if you want to attend the reception, please send the amount of $XXX with your reply card" and as for my friend, I didn't mind paying $200. I hated that she bragged about her $30K wedding saying we would have top-notch food and open bar all night long when it wasn't the case. I don't know what you are trying to do here @vegasgroom besides trying to make me feel bad. Unfortunately for you, this is my last post on this thread as I certainly don't need drama in my life let alone internet drama... I may continue to use this board but I will have to think about it because I'm not even sure anymore.

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

Well I'm just going to stay out of any arguments cause I am not here for that. I'm here to share my excitement about my wedding and talk to other excited brides and get tips from past brides! I love Vegas just as much as anyone I won't be going anywhere I just hope the drama doesn't become a regular thing!

missmo14 · July 2013

This is really disappointing ladies! I come to the board for inspirations, ideas and support and to provide the same to others. I certainly dont think there is any place for bickering. Sure there are some posts out there and ideas that make me cringe BUT I try to be respectful in my responses. On the flip side I never post anything im not prepared to accept negative responses on.

KikiMira · July 2013

Not everyone will always agree on everything and I do expect some negativity towards posts when people aren't seeing eye to eye.

I have never seen that the request of money or you will paying for your own meal on a wedding invite. It is however common here to do potluck style receptions with the request of no gifts. Apparently this saves a lot of money in the end.

annathy03 · July 2013

OP, if you're still checking this what time is your wedding?

If it's at a non-meal time (say 2-3 pm, or after 8), cake and punch is a perfectly acceptable reception to thank your guests for coming. If you're getting married around a meal time though it is necessary to provide something to eat and drink for your guests- and it CAN be pizza or sandwiches and pop, expensive frills aren't required. As VegasGroom said, the reception is to thank your guests for coming. I'll add that not to do so is extremely rude because it sends the message to your guests that the time and money they spent to travel and witness your wedding isn't appreciated.

In addition to considering something simple in your suite, I would check with the MGM to see if they offer any group discounts on their buffet for their wedding couples since buffets are easy, and look into a double decker bus (or party bus if you end up with 30 or less guests) that allows you to bring on food and drink for an inexpensive reception. If that's still out of budget I'd contact your MGM rep and see if you can move your ceremony to a non-meal time and just serve cake and punch in your room after.

MuppetOverlord · July 2013

OP, if you are inviting people to your wedding and expecting they will go to Vegas to attend, it's incredibly rude not to provide food of any sort, even if it's hiring hot dog and ice cream vendors and paying the tab. If I cared enough about you to fly all the way to Vegas and spend money on the hotel, I would wonder if I should've come since you didn't even think I was worth a hot dog.

I just went to a wedding that all the guests made the food for and they still made us pay for soft drinks. I spent the whole wedding thinking about how we weren't even worth $1 to them.

If you are going to have a party at your house anyway, why not get married at your house with a JP and then have your honeymoon in Vegas? More people will come.

MuppetOverlord · July 2013

Valeriecruz82 said:

In order to stay in budget we are having something in our suite. To some it may be cheesy or tacky but we are ordering sand which platters, chicken platters and potatoe salad. And also cake. We are only expecting 15-20 guests. We can't really afford to spend 2000+ on this plus we will only have 90 min for this since we are doing a strip tour with our guests 2 hours after our ceremony

I think this is just fine!

I disagree with the subsequent poster about how this is your day and who cares about the guests....THAT is rude and tacky....

But your hosting platters is not. Good idea!

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

I knew I had to do something for our guests no matter if it was big or small as long as it was something to show our appreciation. Hopefully OP is able to squeeze in enough in her budget to do at least a little something for her guests.

No reception...

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