Who here has had wedding crashers?

NerdyLucy · July 2013

I see threads talking about people who RSVPed yes, but were no shows, and now I'm wondering the opposite.

How many of you have had uninvited people show up at your wedding?

ETA: This isn't technically etiquette related for the bride and groom, but on the part of the "guests."

Did you have issues with lack of seating and food?

rkbo · July 2013

This situation has never happened to me, but it did happen to a friend of mine.

A good acquaintance of the groom showed up to the reception uninvited. But ironically the bride and groom already had an extra seat labeled Wedding Crasher. The unfortunate part was when this acquaintance's boyfriend showed up some time later in shorts and flip flops. Rude much!? This wasn't some backyard bbq wedding either, it was at a fancy ballroom hotel. The bride and groom did not ask that person to leave, but it was definitely frowned on.

I personally would not have a problem asking that person to leave, since I don't care for him at all

monkeysip · July 2013

I had a panic moment at my wedding because I saw this girl we didn't invite when we came into the reception. OMG... where is she going to sit? What is she going to eat?

Then H informed me that she was a substitute for another guest (his aunt decided to bring someone besides her husband). Thank goodness.

AddieCake · July 2013

We didn't, but my aunt's ex sister-in-law brought her child even though no kids were invited. She didn't have assigned seating, and since it was just one person and a kid, it didn't cause a food issue. She was pissed, though.

ShesSoCold · July 2013

My cousin had a very nice wedding in a beautiful ballroom. We have distant cousins who are, for lack of a better word, pretty redneck-ey. They're fun people, but have NO class or knowledge of etiquette and they like it that way. Anyway, they RSVPed no to this wedding and then showed up right in the middle of dinner - walked right through the middle of the room wearing sweatpants, t-shirts and Nascar jackets while everyone was seated for dinner. Then they were pissed that there was no table for them (the parents, two sons and the one son's girlfriend). Somehow they made room for them and served them dinner - which they didn't eat. My cousin's wife was horrified.

itzMS · July 2013

We had crashers. Part of our reception was in a very public venue (though we had a private area). Guests were sneaking in non-guests for the free drinks and food (buffet, non-assigned seating). I ended up yelling at FIL who was one of the instigators. :-/

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

itzMS said:

We had crashers. Part of our reception was in a very public venue (though we had a private area). Guests were sneaking in non-guests for the free drinks and food (buffet, non-assigned seating). I ended up yelling at FIL who was one of the instigators. :-/

That's so rude! People need to realize that the food and drinks are free, they're hosted. You're paying for them.

CheleLyn · July 2013

I've a feeling my wedding crasher will be my mother...loooong story! Jason and I have already started talking about how it will be handled if she shows up. I refuse to let her have her moment at my and Jason's wedding, as well as refuse to let her upset me, so if she tries she will just be politely escorted out....well, as politely as possible considering the scene that she will inevitably cause.

HisGirlFriday13 · July 2013

I was the day-of co-ordinator for a friend's wedding, and she had "crashers." I put that term in scare quotes for a reason:

1. One of the "crashers" whom she refused to seat at the wedding was the groom's grandmother. She hadn't mailed back the RSVP card -- weddings in his family are typically very low-key and casual, so she assumed she didn't have to, and the groom didn't think to call her and confirm OR to tell his lovely bride-to-be that granny was coming -- and the bride had a "no RSVP, no seat" policy. I side-eyed the shit out of her for that AND I gave granny my seat at the reception and I stood.

2. One of the groom's cousins brought his new girlfriend's baby. Not the new girlfriend. Just the baby. To an adults-only wedding. I didn't even know what to do with that. Other than tell them, "No, you CANNOT walk up to the front and sit with your mother, the bride has already entered, so just sit here in the back and shush."

AlexisA01 · July 2013

question, if someone crashes the wedding what do you do? Are you okay to ask them then to leave especially if there is limited seating,food, etc. I'm just wondering what is the correct etiquette or protocol.

MoonlightSilver · July 2013

We did not have crashers. However, I did hear my uncle asking one of the event staff why he didn't have a chair. I suppose any crashers would just ask the staff for a chair to be pulled up.

aro1589 · July 2013

My brother in law (who was a groomsman) brought his boyfriend. His family (and myself) didn't even know he was gay, so our wedding became his coming out party. It was really awkward, I was so panicked that one of his parents were going to freak out and disown him right then and there. There was no drama (that I was aware of, anyway). We had several people RSVP yes and then no-show so seating and food was not an issue.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

We had a crasher of sorts. He didn't get very far but he did get up the stairs before the police detail we had escorted him out.

We got married in Salem, MA in October, so he was in full costume. I wouldn't have even known but our photographer got a picture of him.

itzMS · July 2013

AlexisA01 said:

question, if someone crashes the wedding what do you do? Are you okay to ask them then to leave especially if there is limited seating,food, etc. I'm just wondering what is the correct etiquette or protocol.

Absolutely! In our case, they were people who were "friends" of guests we had invited. We said we were sorry, but we could only accomodate those who had been invited.

It's amazing that we felt bad when these people were 100% in the wrong...*sigh*

If it was a family member or child, I might have approached things differently.

AllyIdo · July 2013

I crashed a wedding... unintentionally! I was staying at a hotel where a wedding was going on, my friend and I had just come back from dinner, we could hear the bumping music in the ballroom.

Cue two tipsy (and attractive!) groomsmen on their way back from the bathroom, they started chatting with us and begging us to come into the wedding as they didn't have dates. We hesitated... the next thing you know the bride comes out with two glasses of champagne, also begging for us to come in and dance.

We spent the last hour of that wedding on the dance floor, having cocktails and eating cake, it was a blast. My friend still talks to one of the groomsmen all these years later.

cmiles89 · July 2013

I'd say kick them the heck out of there. Particularly if they are total strangers who just dropped in. Wedding crashers are high up there on my list of people I can't stand. I realize this is a risk you run with a public venue, but common. Some people are just rude.

On the other hand- if it's people that didn't RSVP but are invited, or guests of guests who were given a +1 then did a bait and switch, it might behoove you to try and find room for them. Of course you can ask them to leave, but it could damage relationships, and for what? Sparing a couple extra seats you may have empty anyways? If it does happen, it'll be pretty clear what you should do.

winelover123 · July 2013

I accidentally crashed a wedding breakfast. We were at a resort and our package included breakfast. When we asked where to go, the people at the front just vaguely pointed. We were really embarrassed when 2 very nice ladies sat down with us and asked how we knew the bride and groom. We explained that we were apparently at the wrong breakfast. They didn't rat us out though and said they would have invited us to other wedding activities is they had met us earlier.

AllieBear725 · July 2013

I'm almost positive we are going to have a few at least. I received an RSVP card back from FI's cousins, and where it said names, she had just put an address sticker. Number attending was 3. The invite was addressed to 2 people, and they have no children. When FI called and asked, she said the number was 4, not 3. He politely explained that only her and her husband were invited.

We have only gotten 5 RSVP cards back. I'm terrified of what is to come.

lyndsay782 · July 2013

I'm hoping I don't have crashers since we just learned our venue that we were told could hold 120 is only going to be giving us 88 chairs... It's not like we are having a sit down dinner, but it's still a ltitle nerve wracking... especially because the people within the out skirts of my circle for "crashing" weddings are people we didn't invite because, well, we don't really care for them.

Within my church circle there are certain people that are invited to every wedding because, well, they are. We didn't invite them. I chose to include people I interact with on a regular basis instead of people who just say "hi" in passing. I can't throw them out of the church, but I can have them politely asked to leave the reception.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

But what if everyone else was invited and I feel like we're all really close friends and they obviously must dislike me if they didn't invite me but EVERYONE will talk about it if I'm not there so I should totally just show up?

lyndsay782 · July 2013

@LMc0322

Lol...

I can't imagine doing that on purpose... but then again, I have manners and no what no being invited means...

thisismynickname2 · July 2013

Here's a thought.... We can all make our own websites here to provide guests with information. I have about 200 "friends" on Facebook (former classmates, coworkers, real friends) and I have quite often seen someone go "Here's our wedding website!"

Why thank you, even though I haven't hung out with you in 10 years, I can now crash your wedding!

Many of these crashing instances seem like accidents or guest bait/switch, but we should all probably be mindful of how far and wide we're broadcasting the details of our weddings.

Bubbles2014 · July 2013

thisismynickname said:

Here's a thought.... We can all make our own websites here to provide guests with information. I have about 200 "friends" on Facebook (former classmates, coworkers, real friends) and I have quite often seen someone go "Here's our wedding website!"

Why thank you, even though I haven't hung out with you in 10 years, I can now crash your wedding!

Many of these crashing instances seem like accidents or guest bait/switch, but we should all probably be mindful of how far and wide we're broadcasting the details of our weddings.

This. Facebook doesn't know my wedding location or details because I don't want anyone thinking it's an open invitation!

DaisyMaeMommy · July 2013

Bubbles2014 said:

thisismynickname said:

Here's a thought.... We can all make our own websites here to provide guests with information. I have about 200 "friends" on Facebook (former classmates, coworkers, real friends) and I have quite often seen someone go "Here's our wedding website!"

Why thank you, even though I haven't hung out with you in 10 years, I can now crash your wedding!

Many of these crashing instances seem like accidents or guest bait/switch, but we should all probably be mindful of how far and wide we're broadcasting the details of our weddings.

This. Facebook doesn't know my wedding location or details because I don't want anyone thinking it's an open invitation!

Same here. FH and I are inviting 122 people. We're budgeting for 130, just in case someone decides to crash... BUT, I'm hoping no one does.

cwaggoner07 · July 2013

I sort of accidentally crashed a wedding in my wedding dress.

The hotel H and I stayed at our wedding night had a wedding reception that evening. It's a smaller, casual, boutique hotel, so there wasn't an actual designated 'room' for them.

So we walk into the bar at 12:30 to grab a nightcap in our wedding attire, and the 30 people left partying on the other side of the bar gave us the BIGGEST stink-eye. I wasn't sorry.

Oh BTW, I don't think there was any sort of open bar/drink stealing situation, as we got a ticket, but the hotel manager immediately took it and comped our drinks.

lmhluckadoo · July 2013

We had an attempt. As soon as we pulled up to the reception there were three guys trying to enter the site and someone asked who they were and they just said "Oh, we're friends of the groom".

Well, groom was standing right there and said "I don't know these guys..."

Then they turn apologetic "Oh, we're sorry, it must have been another wedding. Sorry."

One of the groomsmen who is very outspoken simply said "No, pretty sure this is the only wedding here today."

But they left and all was well.

NerdyLucy · July 2013

cwaggoner07 said:

I sort of accidentally crashed a wedding in my wedding dress.

That's impressive!

lyndsay782 · July 2013

thisismynickname My facebook is also void of wedding details, and my website was only shared with friends/invited people via email... I'm doing all I can to avoid people who don't need to know learning about it...

But some people like to overhear my conversations...

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

lyndsay782 said:

thisismynickname My facebook is also void of wedding details, and my website was only shared with friends/invited people via email... I'm doing all I can to avoid people who don't need to know learning about it...

But some people like to overhear my conversations...

@lyndsay782 You're not, by any chance, having your wedding at a park, are you?

lyndsay782 · July 2013

Dreamergirl8812

LOL... no. I just know one or two pushy people that think like her... that thread is making me think I need to invest in bouncers.

NerdyLucy · July 2013

lyndsay782 said:

But some people like to overhear my conversations...

I don't ever talk about it on FB either, and only a few people at work even know that I'm engaged. I just simply don't mention it.

Who here has had wedding crashers?

Re: Who here has had wedding crashers?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards