Invite to shower but not to the private DW

thisismynickname2 · July 2013

I'd like to try proposing a different idea. It seems like maybe you want to host a send-off for them. If this is YOUR idea, OP (not the bride's), then I don't see why you can't have a send-off party so long as you absolutely positively do NOT call it a shower. Do not send paper invites, do not get decorations, do not play hostess.

Provided all the invitees know full well the couple is having a private wedding, maybe send an e-mail (not even an e-vite) or a Facebook event (if that's something you'd do) to the effect of, "Hey everyone, Tom and Jane are leaving for their wedding next week. Let's all meet up at O'Leary's pub and give them a fun send-off! Let me know if you can meet up!"

I think that if all the invitees know about the private wedding, chances are they may have sent at least a wedding card and maybe a gift anyway or were planning to. People who wish to provide a gift for someone they care about in honor of a major life change (wedding, new baby) are honoring the life change, not basing their gift-giving on whether or not they were invited to witness said life change. My point is you may not need the "shower" for them to be getting gifts anyway. Just party like rock stars.

SuperMinty · July 2013

You won't be invited
You must be delighted
Your presence won't really be missed
Let's shower them with gifts!

akmiller2010 · July 2013

Clearly a cutsey poem makes everything not rude. Ugh what a "special snowflake"

Tmom1134 · July 2013

Why are you throwing this? Did all of the couples get together and give you this idea knowing they weren't invited to the wedding?

GuestJaneDoe · July 2013

If I'm invited to the shower but not the small private destination wedding, I'll go to shower and NOT bring a gift.

That's just as tacky and rude!

Jen4948 · July 2013

OP, there is nothing you could say, in prose or poetry, that would make this acceptable, let alone "cute."

sonthirathb · July 2013

Where did the OP go? Hopefully all of everyone's great replies made her change her mind!

NerdyLucy · July 2013

afryer1217 said:
I realize its not proper etiquette to invite ppl to a shower & not the wedding. No need to reiterate that point.

Then why on earth would you come here and ask? Nobody is going to tell you that it's okay to be insanely rude.

annathy03 · July 2013

Jen4948 said:

OP, there is nothing you could say, in prose or poetry, that would make this acceptable, let alone "cute."

Sorry, there is no good way to word a bad/rude idea.

If you want to do something, a send off or welcome home party like PPs mentioned would be a nice way for everyone to celebrate, but only if you don't call it a shower. Showers = gift giving events, attended by those invited to the wedding.

Invite to shower but not to the private DW

Re: Invite to shower but not to the private DW

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