Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help

sunshinee39 · November 2012

Ok so I know everyone thinks it is super tacky, I am not looking to recieve only cash I would prefer actual gifts but my family is the family that everyone has an iphone and we communicate through social networking and text messages instead of phone calls, so this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards. so before you put your rude coments just note this is for my guests and i have had plenty of people request this from me.

So my problem is, I do not want to just put a paypal button on my site i would like to make it as far away from tacky as possible so does anyone have any suggestions on what i can write about it hinting that i a m not money hungry i am just trying to please all of my guests?

Fancypantsamy · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:885dd4f8-c29d-4c1d-9926-6321bf353103">Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I know everyone thinks it is super tacky, I am not looking to recieve only cash I would prefer actual gifts but my family is the family that everyone has an iphone and we communicate through social networking and text messages instead of phone calls, so this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards. <strong>so before you put your rude coments </strong>just note this is for my guests and i have had plenty of people request this from me. So my problem is, I do not want to just put a paypal button on my site i would like to make it as far away from tacky as possible so does anyone have any suggestions on what i can write about it hinting that i a m not money hungry i am just trying to please all of my guests?
Posted by sunshinee39[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Seriously? Why did you even bother posting if that's what you think of everyone's advice. </div><div>
</div><div>There is no way to "hint" or write anything without looking tacky. People will either give you cash or they won't. Despite your belief that no one carries cash, H and I received thousands of dollars in cash and checks at our wedding, no pay pal account needed and no "hints" provided from us. If someone asks, you can give them your paypal info individually. I think you're really underestimating your guests.

</div>

LuckyGirl1713 · November 2012

There is no way to do this without looking super tacky and incredibly rude.

HobokensFury · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:885dd4f8-c29d-4c1d-9926-6321bf353103">Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I know everyone thinks it is super tacky, I am not looking to recieve only cash I would prefer actual gifts but my family is the family that everyone has an iphone and we communicate through social networking and text messages instead of phone calls, so this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards. so before you put your rude coments just note this is for my guests and i have had plenty of people request this from me. So my problem is, I do not want to just put a paypal button on my site i would like to make it as far away from tacky as possible so does anyone have any suggestions on what i can write about it hinting that i a m not money hungry i am just trying to please all of my guests?
Posted by sunshinee39[/QUOTE]

Um no. This is in the top 10 tackiest ideas ever on TK. And this is a public forum, you can't tell people how to post.

jessicabessica · November 2012

It's super easy to send an Amazon GC via email. Register at Amazon to encourage people to do this.

You already know that everyone here thinks it's super tacky (your words) to do what you're suggesting, so I won't go there.

cwaggoner07 · November 2012

It is tacky, but I promise, if people want to make money as a gift, they will find a way to do it. If they manage to buy their groceries and run other common errands without their iphone, they can at least drive through an ATM and get some cash.

Simply Fated · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:885dd4f8-c29d-4c1d-9926-6321bf353103">Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I know everyone thinks it is super tacky, I am not looking to recieve only cash I would prefer actual gifts but my family is the family that everyone has an iphone and we communicate through social networking and text messages instead of phone calls, so this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards. so before you put your rude coments just note this is for my guests and <strong>i have had plenty of people request this from me</strong>. So my problem is, I do not want to just put a paypal button on my site i would like to make it as far away from tacky as possible so does anyone have any suggestions on what i can write about it hinting that i a m not money hungry i am just trying to please all of my guests?
Posted by sunshinee39[/QUOTE]
If you have people asking you to set up a paypal account so they can dump money into it... then why do you care how it's being advertised to people?
What I mean is... if your friends and family are okay with it, then just have a button for it and move on.
If you're concerned about how other people (friends and family who might not be okay with it) wil react then perhaps you should consider setting up an alternative registry, like at Amazon or a brick and mortar store and have a link to that on the same page. That might at least help soften the blow.

So, on your wedding website page for gifts (where I'm guessing this is going?) you can first have the link to another place and then underneath it have the paypal account set up. I don't think words are needed.
Honestly, I have no words. No words at all.

MyNameIsNot · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:885dd4f8-c29d-4c1d-9926-6321bf353103">Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I know everyone thinks it is super tacky, I am not looking to recieve only cash I would prefer actual gifts but my family is the family that everyone has an iphone and we communicate through social networking and text messages instead of phone calls, so this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards. so before you put your rude coments just note this is for my guests and i have had plenty of people request this from me. So my problem is, I do not want to just put a paypal button on my site i would like to make it as far away from tacky as possible so does anyone have any suggestions on what i can write about it hinting that i a m not money hungry i am just trying to please all of my guests?
Posted by sunshinee39[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not tacky. Tacky is for stripper shoes under your gown or decorating with balloon bouquets. What you are proposing is flat out rude. </div><div>
</div><div>There is no good way to do a rude thing. There just isn't, and no one is going to be able to give you any good advice about how to go about it.</div><div>
</div><div>If people don't want to shop for a gift or put money in a card, they can write you a check and mail it with their RSVP or just write a check and hand it to you. They don't even have to go to the ATM. If they're out of checks or can't find their checkbook, they can even do an online bill pay check and let the bank mail it to you. This is even available on iphone apps!</div><div>
</div><div>If someone specifically asks you for a paypal link, email it to them. Don't give it to anyone that doesn't ask, website or not. </div>

Fancypantsamy · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:8fd255f3-b7ce-4cd0-bb3d-0a527f1c9f3a">Re: Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help : <strong>It's not tacky. Tacky is for stripper shoes under your gown or decorating with balloon bouquets. What you are proposing is flat out rude. </strong> There is no good way to do a rude thing. There just isn't, and no one is going to be able to give you any good advice about how to go about it. If people don't want to shop for a gift or put money in a card, they can write you a check and mail it with their RSVP or just write a check and hand it to you. They don't even have to go to the ATM. If they're out of checks or can't find their checkbook, they can even do an online bill pay check and let the bank mail it to you. This is even available on iphone apps! If someone specifically asks you for a paypal link, email it to them. Don't give it to anyone that doesn't ask, website or not.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You are a poet.

</div>

RamonaFlowers · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:885dd4f8-c29d-4c1d-9926-6321bf353103">Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok this paypal option is for the lazy family members i have that do not want to make time to shop for a gift or pick out a card to put the cash in. Fact is that no one ever carries cash anymore its all on credit cards.
Posted by sunshinee39[/QUOTE]

There are these crazy new-fangled machines called ATMs that dispense cash for you at the mere push of some buttons. You don't even have to go to the bank! They're at pretty much every single convenience store and gas station. I know, sounds crazy, right? But it's true! I swear!

There are also these magical things called "checking accounts" that most people have, that come with these magical spell books full of "checks", where you can simply spend 30 seconds scribbling on a page, and it just turns into money for the person it's presented to.

I know, it must be incredibly hard to swallow such information (After finding this out, I myself had a crisis of faith AND identity ... I mean really, machines that dispense cash and ordinary paper that can turn into money? What kind of sorcery is this?!?!?!?!), but once you learn to live with this information, it's honestly pretty awesome and makes life very convenient.

Avion22 · November 2012

I'm sorry, WHAT? I link to your paypal account?

The reason you can't figure out how to do this is because it's such a horrible idea that nobody does it. There's no good way to do a horrible thing. You aren't a charity and aren't selling anything, so there is no reason to have a link to your paypal account on your wedding webpage.

If people WANT to give you gifts (they don't have to, but if they want to), they will figure out how to do it using, you know, cash, checks, gift cards, or physical gifts from the store.

If you want a traditional registry, then by all means have one:-) Your guests can even shop online and have gifts delivered directly to your home, it's super-convenient.

AdeleDazeem · November 2012

Sorry your family is lazy, but that's no excuse to put a PAYPAL account on your website anywhere.

I never carry cash and yet I still figure out how to give it as a gift for weddings when I'm in a pinch.

mandi195 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:3d4a22a1-95c7-4ecd-b513-842317a3149c">Re: Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help : There are these crazy new-fangled machines called ATMs that dispense cash for you at the mere push of some buttons. You don't even have to go to the bank!t They're at pretty much every single convenience store and gas station. I know, sounds crazy, right? But it's true! I swear! There are also these magical things called "checking accounts" that most people have, that come with these magical spell books full of "checks", where you can simply spend 30 seconds scribbling on a page, and it just turns into money for the person it's presented to. I know, it must be incredibly hard to swallow such information (After finding this out, I myself had a crisis of faith AND identity ... I mean really, machines that dispense cash and ordinary paper that can turn into money? What kind of sorcery is this?!?!?!?!), but once you learn to live with this information, it's honestly pretty awesome and makes life very convenient.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

I want to hug you right now.

B2Z728 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_paypal-on-website-tacky-but-i-need-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0460fb83-97a9-408a-8a6f-86d7a0fdad8dPost:3d4a22a1-95c7-4ecd-b513-842317a3149c">Re: Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help : There are these crazy new-fangled machines called ATMs that dispense cash for you at the mere push of some buttons. You don't even have to go to the bank!t They're at pretty much every single convenience store and gas station. I know, sounds crazy, right? But it's true! I swear! There are also these magical things called "checking accounts" that most people have, that come with these magical spell books full of "checks", where you can simply spend 30 seconds scribbling on a page, and it just turns into money for the person it's presented to. I know, it must be incredibly hard to swallow such information (After finding this out, I myself had a crisis of faith AND identity ... I mean really, machines that dispense cash and ordinary paper that can turn into money? What kind of sorcery is this?!?!?!?!), but once you learn to live with this information, it's honestly pretty awesome and makes life very convenient.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thank you for one of the best responses I've read in awhile.

</div>

Summer2011Bride · November 2012

I never have cash on me either (seriously never!) but I have this cool thing that Ramona mentioned called a check book. I write checks out to pretty much every couple who gets married--that's my go-to gift because I know that people appreciate money. Not having cash on you at any given point in time doesn't mean people can't PLAN to withdraw cash or write out a check since they know you are marrying ahead of time. It's also no excuse to do something as rude as link to your PayPal account.

sparkles776 · November 2012

I really dont understand how you would think this is ok.

manateehugger · July 2013

@jwong999

1. This thread is old.

2.Nope it's tacky.

3. ATM's, checks, and e-checks exist. People know how to give money to people. It's not that hard.

4. If you don't want to go to the wedding, don't go. If you don't want to give a gift, don't give one.

NYCBruin · July 2013

DIE ZOMBIE THREAD DIE

Seriously, jwong-where did you even find this thread?

An invitation is not a summons, if you don't want to go then don't go.

If you're worried about cash or a check getting lost, mail a card and check to the couple instead of bringing it with you. Technically proper etiquette is to send the couple a gift, not bring it to the wedding anyways.

This is a tacky idea because it requests cash. Giving cash is very easy. No one needs to make it easier.

manateehugger · July 2013

Wedding gifts are not, and never have been, required.

NYCBruin · July 2013

jwong999 said:

Furthermore, in today's day and age, most are getting married later or generally we're more established and have all the things we need. New linens, towels and additional things and new things are nice, but we generally have all the toasters, kitchen gadgets, mixing bowls and household things we have. I'm just making the point that cash is a great gift and should not be afraid to ask for it so the couple can pay for and buy whatever it is they choose be it the wedding costs, honeymoon, house, dinner out or paying the bills. Just don't judge and if paypal is easier, me and so many people would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not a heartless tacky person, I have great taste in fact. You know what is tacky? Inviting people to your enormous wedding you hardly even know; a mass number of celebratory events leading up to the event including wedding shower, bridal shower, stagette, rehearsal dinner and you're required to bring a gift and spend money when your guests can't afford it. More things tacky: enormous wedding parties with too many attendants, weddings where the bride stresses over the color of the table napkins, and elaborate weddings where it isn't about love or the couple anymore, all the pain-staking traditions of a long ceremony including sand in a cup, song dedications, doves being sent off (it's cruelty to animals in fact to let out birds not native to area to then fend for themselves and not survive), bride and grooms arriving in carriages and horseback to the wedding dinner, asking your guests to pay for all the costs of a destination wedding. So many tacky requests so we can't judge people for doing what they do so just let people do whatever they want to do. What is tacky? Setting a dollar value of a gift or specifying kinds of gifts NOT to get. I recognize that.

Pointing out other tacky things doesn't make this idea any less tacky.

You're correct on one thing. Cash is a great gift. People know that, any sort of registry pointing to cash is completely unnecessary. Traditional registries are ok because if I want to buy you sheets, I wouldn't know what color to get you without the assistance of a registry. If I want to give you cash, I don't need any help doing so.

Gifts are never required. That's why they are GIFTS. A couple should never ask for any gifts.

You may not think this is a tacky idea, but the overwhelming responses are that people find this tacky. Knowing that, why would you risk insulting one of your guests (because at least one of them will find this tacky)?

NYCBruin · July 2013

You're clearly missing the point. Just because you personally don't find something offensive doesn't mean that it doesn't offend others. That's all I'm going to say.

By all means, please continue arguing with people that posted responses ages ago. And don't try to figure out how to use the quote box. Your misuse makes it look like you're arguing with yourself, and I find that highly amusing.

manateehugger · July 2013

Dude this thread is almost a year old - I should hope the OP got over it by now.

And I hope to God that thinking you're doing a favor to your guests by requesting cash from them never becomes proper etiquette.

RamonaFlowers · July 2013

Omg, why did you revive a 9 month old thread just to be obnoxious? And further more, wtf are you not only defending this tacktastic idea on a 9-month old thread, but also writing about it on my wall? I'm never going to be in support of doing something that's tacky and rude, therefore, you're not going to change my mind about this.

NYCBruin · July 2013

jwong999 said:

So are gift cards ok then?

No. It is never ok to ask for cash or gift cards. The proper way to let your guests that you prefer cash is to not register. If (and only if) someone asks where you are registered you say "We don't need anything right now, but we are saving up for _______." People get the hint that you would prefer cash and you don't offend them by doing something that's the equivalent of saying "Give me money"

clg1213 · July 2013

Giving cash is fine.

Giving gift cards is fine.

Giving presents is fine.

Giving nothing is fine.

The problem is in the asking and the expecting. Announcing a PayPal account comes off as expecting a gift. Registries are acceptable b/c gifts are more complex....cash goes with any décor, but green sheets don't go with my bedroom. Even with registries, the best rule is to let others spread the word....it is not something you put on the invite. If you want money, spread the word through folks close to you that you are saving up for a house or whatever.

Times are changing, but that doesn't mean its okay to sit playing the latest game on your IPad during a wedding ceremony. It is good to preserve some basic etiquette. You may not want to abide by Emily Post and all the complex rules, but that doesn't mean it is okay to ask for money. It wouldn't have been okay to request a MoneyGram fro Western Union a generation or two back....a PayPal account is the modern equivalent.

Paypal on website.. tacky BUT i need help

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