Hi I have a question, I've been searching the internet and I've only found 2 or 3 posts about this topic. My brother's fiancée asked my sister to be a bridesmaid but didn't ask me. There are 3 of us siblings: me, my brother and my sister. The bride had 3 girls stand up: her sister, her best friend, and my sister. It is my brother's first wedding and will be his fiancée's second. The bride and my sister are not friends.
I was completely left out and didn't even know the bride had asked anyone until a few months after the fact my mother told me. I had been asking questions about the wedding and getting no information, not even a wedding date. No one even talked to me about why I wasn't included. The wedding party had already had gone dress shopping and had the bridesmaids dresses picked out and ordered by the time I knew anything had happened. I cried when my mom told me and I told her I never expected me or my sister to be bridesmaids just because we are siblings, but to have my sister included and not me really hurt my feelings. My sister and have both been married 10+ years and we both have children, so that can't be the reason. I can't imagine why my FSIL excluded me, there has not been anything that happened between us to my knowledge. A few weeks after my mom told me, my brother called me up and asked me to do a reading. I of course said yes because I didn't want to create any drama and make the day be about me, or demand that I be included as a bridesmaid because I thought that would be in very poor taste. I tried to take the high road and said I'd do the reading and offered to help with the wedding in any way I could. But my feelings were terribly hurt.
The rehearsal and the day of the wedding were 2 of the hardest days for me to get through without crying in public. My sister was involved in the entire wedding day and I was sent an invitation and told to be at the church 1/2 hour before. My sister was in all of the pictures, posing with the bride and the other girls at the rehearsal dinner, and of course the wedding party pictures the day of the wedding. I was left out of all of these because I was not in the wedding party.
The final slam came when at the rehearsal, they asked me to stand in the back and help the flower girls go out on their cue so that the photographer would get the best possible shots. They also wanted me to stay back and straighten the brides train before she walked down the aisle. They told me I could just quickly walk up a side aisle and go sit down before the bride's procession began. The photographer was taking all these photos of the attendants walking down the aisle with their bouquets and it was all I could do to not cry when I hurried up the side of the church and took my seat so as not to be walking in at the same time as the bride.
After the ceremony I was included in 2 pictures. My sister was in every picture as part of the wedding party. At the reception a guest of the brides came up and introduced himself to me and asked me how do you know the couple? When I told him I was the groom's sister he said I thought the grooms sister was in the wedding and I had to tell him he has 2 sisters.
I am a loss of how to even start to handle this. She is now my SIL and how could she make this decision without giving any thought to our future together in the same family, consisting of Christmas, holidays, etc. I know it was just one day, but it is also more than that. Their wedding pictures include my sister but don't include me and I can't imagine what they were thinking when they made this decision.