My brother's finacee asked my sister to be a bridesmaid but not me, very little advice out there

jm22jm · July 2013

I understand being upset. My SIL chose my twin sister to be a BM because my sister is considered "the pretty one" while I am "the sporty one". Yes, she actually told my brother that my sister would look better in pictures, and that my "big shoulders" might ruin the BM dress she had chosen.

You just have to be gracious and let it go. Please don't let this ruin any family get togethers - life is way too short.

Weesh · July 2013

jm22jm said:

I understand being upset. My SIL chose my twin sister to be a BM because my sister is considered "the pretty one" while I am "the sporty one". Yes, she actually told my brother that my sister would look better in pictures, and that my "big shoulders" might ruin the BM dress she had chosen.

You just have to be gracious and let it go. Please don't let this ruin any family get togethers - life is way too short.

How awful and shallow---Your SIL should be ashamed of herself.

PrimRoseMama · July 2013

jm22jm said:

I understand being upset. My SIL chose my twin sister to be a BM because my sister is considered "the pretty one" while I am "the sporty one". Yes, she actually told my brother that my sister would look better in pictures, and that my "big shoulders" might ruin the BM dress she had chosen.

What the actual f.cuk? That's shallow BS! Geez man.

efmcc67 · July 2013

jm22jm said:

I understand being upset. My SIL chose my twin sister to be a BM because my sister is considered "the pretty one" while I am "the sporty one". Yes, she actually told my brother that my sister would look better in pictures, and that my "big shoulders" might ruin the BM dress she had chosen.

You just have to be gracious and let it go. Please don't let this ruin any family get togethers - life is way too short.

Seriously?? That's awful! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

LAM524 · July 2013

I can completely relate. When my brother & his fiancee were planning their wedding they had said they were only having a best man & maid of honor. I helped my SIL with wedding details...her gown...planned & financed her shower etc. A month before the wedding, someone took great pleasure in telling me that not only was there a huge bridal party, all of my siblings (4) were it in. The biggest shock to me was that my sister was asked. They hardly knew each other (sis lives in another state) and the one time they did meet my sis called her a "whore."

I was completely devastated. I couldnt even attend the shower the next day, I hurt so bad (never mind my eyes were swollen so bad from crying). Without my asking, his FI called me up & started to cry as she told me that she didnt want to hurt me but that she wanted my sis to feel a part of the family! (didnt matter that I felt excluded from this family affair). My brother visited and told me that he always thought it would be me standing up there with them...but because we (sis & I) didnt get along they didnt want a fight to break out! We've never fought in our lives!! He asked me to do a reading and I simply said, thanks but dont throw me a bone.

I went to the wedding of course, and it was an extremely difficult experience. After the ceremony, everyone walked away to have pics done. I saw all my siblings go one way as I walked the other. As I was walking away, someone from the brides side approached and told me that I was a better person then she was, because if she were "ditched" like I was, she wouldnt have attended & she offered to buy me a drink. I skipped cocktail hr and went up to my room and cried for an hr. I then fixed my makeup, went to reception and let that woman buy me a drink (I had several more).

Turns out there was a huge fight...cops called...bride/groom sent to their rooms. A big disaster! I had NOTHING to do with it, but my sis & 2 of my brothers were involved! HA! Allow me to say KARMA!

It still stings (6 years later) when I visit them and see their wall of pics with everyone there....all that wonderful history...and Im not included but...I feels absolutely perfect that I wasnt included in the drama that ruined the wedding either.

I really am sorry that you are hurting. I have no different advice then other pp's...but to say time will heal unless more hurt is thrown on it. Chose your battles wisely.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

jm22jm said:

I understand being upset. My SIL chose my twin sister to be a BM because my sister is considered "the pretty one" while I am "the sporty one". Yes, she actually told my brother that my sister would look better in pictures, and that my "big shoulders" might ruin the BM dress she had chosen.

You just have to be gracious and let it go. Please don't let this ruin any family get togethers - life is way too short.

Woah...that's horrible! First of all, I'm glad you rocked the athletic body : ) but a) that's horrible that be did that, but b) why did your brother tell you that?

ashleyep · July 2013

I know that a bride has no obligation to include anyone in the wedding party, but it seems really shitty to me to pick one sister and not the other if you're not close to either. Especially since in that case you're really just extending the invite to the FSIL as a courtesy or to even out the wedding party numbers.

OP, I'd be upset too and I completely understand, but at the end of the day I think you need to move on and get past this.

lyndsay782 · July 2013

LAM2228 That's pretty cruel...Your SIL was a JERK for that... (and I'm being nice by calling her just a jerk) and so was your brother. He should've manned up on that one.

Either way, you've moved passed it for the most part, just as others of us who've been left out have. That's still what OP needs to do.

My brother's finacee asked my sister to be a bridesmaid but not me, very little advice out there

Re: My brother's finacee asked my sister to be a bridesmaid but not me, very little advice out there

Choose Another Board

Search Boards