NWR: Quitting smoking

itzMS · July 2013

Looking for advice from anyone who has quit smoking and/or has supported someone in quitting.

DH disclosed to me last night that he is planning to go "cold turkey" starting after work on Friday. But he's very concerned about the potential changes to his personality, amongst other things. I am looking to be as supportive as possible without disturbing the process.

Backstory:

DH has smoked for twelve years. He knows his triggers, but his chemical addiction is very strong. He's already reduced his consumption by a pack and a half a day (now down to 3/4 pack a day). He's had previous failed attempts with Chantix, nicorette gum/patch, and e-cigs.

I'm due in December, and he wants to quit not only for his health, but obviously for me and the baby.

Thanks for sharing any experiences and advice!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Congrats to him! (And you!) I don't have much to add, but my brother smoked since he was in high school. He's 30 now. It's been a rough road, and he's grumpy sometimes, but he's getting there. He used the e-cigs for while, I'm not sure how much they helped. He chewed an awful lot of sunflower seeds

Chipmunk415 · July 2013

Knew a lady down the street who quit. She dieted before she went cold turkey, and every time she felt a craving, she ate a "stick like" piece of food, like carrots, celery, or pretzels. She gained some weight back, but as far as I know, she's been free of cigarettes for the past 3-4 years.

Swazzle · July 2013

I smoked for 7 years and this November I'll be smoke-free for 5 years. It is REALLY hard to quit. It took me 4 tries to finally get it to stick. My best advice is to just really be understanding. Don't mention smoking or him quitting. Even seeing someone smoking in a movie would make me want a cigarette when I first quit. I think the main reason I was able to stick to it this time was because I really wanted it and I didn't have someone nagging me. My ex-BF was a real pain in the ass with this. I did it for me and not because he would flip out on me if I didn't quit.

Also, I had a smoking "schedule". When I woke up, on my walk to work, at 10am, at 2pm, on my walk home from work, and then randomly throughout the rest of the night. I found it really helpful to keep myself busy and focused on something at these times so I wouldn't feel the urge as much.

Good luck to your husband!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

LingerLonger1 said:

When a coworker quit a few years ago he signed up for one of those smoking calculators that tells you how much money you're saving by quitting. He set a goal for an item he wanted to buy and used only cigarette money to purchase it. Every day he'd go check how close he was to buying his desired item and he said that helped keep him on track.

I can't get out of the quote box, but that's a super awesome idea.

AddieCake · July 2013

One of my friends just recommended an app called "quit it" to my husband that shows you how much money you saved, parts of health that are improving, etc. It really helped her every time she wanted a cigarette to open the app and get that motivation.

libby2483 · July 2013

My H quit smoking when he we were dating. He tried to go cold turkey a couple of times, but he couldn't do it. He finally tried nicotine patches, and that did the trick, but it was still very difficult for him. He hasn't had a cigarette in over two years now. In terms of supporting him, I tried to be understanding about him being crabby (but did still call him out if he was really being a jerk). I also tried to motivate him by reminding him of all of the benefits of quitting when he was discouraged. And I helped to keep him on track when he was drinking or around friends who smoked and really wanted a cigarette.

smalfrie19 · July 2013

David quit smoking the day he moved in with me. He was a bit short tempered for a while and he had a few set backs, one when we had a fight or one when he was at the bar. But he was very self determined to quit and he did.

Jessica41381 · July 2013

My fiancé is currently trying to quit and boy are the mood changes tough on him. He was smoke free for a year until we went to the Dominican Republic and he had a cigar . He's been struggling since but he's aware of it and its a work in progress. My advice would be to support him and watch out for the change in mood but remember its only temporary and in the long run its worth it.

buddysmom80 · July 2013

I recently quit smoking cold turkey and it's hard because my BF and all of his friends are smokers. Granted, I cut down a ton before I quit but still, it was a habit for me to have a cig before work, omw to work, omw home from work and smoke at home while having my evening cocktail. I think my job helped too with me quitting since they started a $50/month premium increase on health insurance for smokers. I NEVER smoked at work just for the fact that I work in healthcare (non-clinical) but still, I would feel bad smoking a cigarette and then seeing a patient who's battling lung cancer.

I agree with what PP's said in regards to calculating how much money he would save, and buying something nice. Also what helps for me is that when I feel like I "need" a cigarette I take a walk instead, or do something with my hands.

Weezy56 · July 2013

I quit in June 2012. I started using the Mistic e-cig and loved it. Was that the brand your H tried? (Just asking because i tried other e cig brands and hated them). I no longer feel the need to use those either. Even when drinking beer : P

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

My H and I are currently trying to quit. We just started 2 weeks ago and are actually having a lot of success with the e-cigs that we've found. I haven't had a "real" smoke in a 4 or 5 days. We've ordered 0% nic fluid for them and hopefully we'll be done soon.

We've tried to quit cold turkey before and it just didn't work for us. We'd keep making excuses about why it's ok to have one here and there.

I know I would get bitchy for the first few days after quitting, but that would pass.

Weezy56 · July 2013

LingerLonger1 said:

Weezy56 said:

I quit in June 2012. I started using the Mistic e-cig and loved it. Was that the brand your H tried? (Just asking because i tried other e cig brands and hated them). I no longer feel the need to use those either. Even when drinking beer : P

I really don't understand this. The product label even says "This is not a smoking cessation device." It is not intended to help you quit and shouldn't be used in that way. They are intended to be a cigarette replacement that you can "smoke anywhere."

Maybe it was a mental thing then, I guess? Either way I stopped which was my intended goal.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

@lingerlonger1 - I know the ones we are using can be used as such because with the liquid you fill them with, you can step down the amount of nicotine in the liquid. H is almost exclusively smoking 0% after only 2 weeks. I don't know about all the brands out there, but I think some of them can be successfully used as a cessation program.

Weezy56 · July 2013

@mrsmack10612- Mistic kind of has the same thing, they sell cartridges of different nicotine levels, one being 0%. I never used the 0% but one of my girlfriends did

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

@weezy56 - Yeah, I know the cartridge style ones you can do the same, we didn't care for those as much as we do the ones with liquid. We find it's a smoother "smoke" and tastes/smells better. We also use crazy flavors. H is hooked on vanilla, I've been using pomegranate.

H is also just kind of hooked on using the thing in general, even with the 0%, but he was always a big fan of our hookah, so I think it's similar for him but without the nicotine/smoke.

Weezy56 · July 2013

Pomegranate sounds like it tastes delicious!

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

It really is very tasty. We've ordered a bunch of flavors to try.

ETA: H ran out of fluid during the day yesterday (his refill was at home) and so he bought a pack of smokes. After 2 weeks of the e-cigs I didn't even like the smell of it, so I'm hoping as more time goes by I continue to feel that way.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

Yes, my H is still enjoying the smoking aspect of the e-cig. It doesn't mean he's replaced his addiction.

I'm still using a % of nicotine, but I find myself smoking less - I don't go out to have a smoke 3 or 4 times during my work day anymore. So it is working to quit smoking. How is it irresponsible to share my experience? I wasn't saying yes, do this. I was giving my experience, just like Weezy did.

And nicotine is no worse than people who have a caffeine addiction. The problem with cigarettes is the smoke, the tar and carcinogens that come from that. If I or my H want to be addicted to nicotine/non-nicotine vapor, I'd say that's a lot better than actual cigarette smoking.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

LingerLonger1 said:

MrsMack10612 said:

Yes, my H is still enjoying the smoking aspect of the e-cig. It doesn't mean he's replaced his addiction.

I'm still using a % of nicotine, but I find myself smoking less - I don't go out to have a smoke 3 or 4 times during my work day anymore. So it is working to quit smoking. How is it irresponsible to share my experience? I wasn't saying yes, do this. I was giving my experience, just like Weezy did.

And nicotine is no worse than people who have a caffeine addiction. The problem with cigarettes is the smoke, the tar and carcinogens that come from that. If I or my H want to be addicted to nicotine/non-nicotine vapor, I'd say that's a lot better than actual cigarette smoking.

You said he was "hooked." Therefore he's addicted.

No nicotine is still a drug. You're fooling yourself if you're saying it's not. I didn't say it was WORSE than caffeine. That's a red herring argument if I've ever seen one. If OP asked how to get rid of a caffeine addiction I wouldn't tell her to switch from coke to coffee. I'd tell her to drop the caffeine entirely.

PP recommended OP's H use e-cigs to quit. She offered advice. When you respond in kind and say it worked for you there's an implication that you're supporting PP's advice, so yes, you did actually suggest OP's H use e-cigs to quit. Unless you were just typing to see yourself type. And FTR you're acting like I'm singling you out. I'm not. I said prior to your response that suggesting using e-cigs to help someone quit is a bad idea.

I guess hooked is maybe the wrong word to use when talking about addiction, he just really likes the vanilla flavor, it's far more enjoyable the cigarette smell/taste.

Yes, I know nicotine is a drug and that is an addiction, it is also one of, if not the only drugs that actually has a calming effect and allows a person to focus. My point in comparing to caffeine is that though yes, it is a drug and is addicting, it is no more harmful to the system than caffeine, so even if you are still "addicted" to the act of smoking with or without a % of nicotine it does not have the same harmful effects of smoking an actual cigarette.

Ok, I guess I did imply support of using e-cigs and I stand by that. We have had good luck removing the nicotine addiction, even if we do still enjoy the physical act of smoking, that works for us. I know that for me, more of my smoking is lifestyle habit as a opposed to nicotine habit. I have triggers that make me want to smoke - drinking, coffee, in the car, on the phone. In the past when I've tried to quit (and I've tried several times), after about 3 days, I no longer crave the nicotine. I crave the lifestyle as noted above.

Maybe I did come off like I was taking it personally, but that was not my intention. Was just trying to explain myself. Clearly not very well (and maybe still not well).

Just because you think it's a bad idea though, doesn't mean that it is. I see your point that it still allows you to smoke, but I think for some people, it's the right option.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

I'm not sure what addiction you mean by trading one for another. Which may be part of the confusion.

If you are referring to trading cigarettes for e-cigs: that is why I brought up caffeine vs. nicotine. The addiction to e-cigs/nicotine vapor is less harmful than cigarettes.

And yes, e-cigs can be used as a cessation program and it seems to be working for us.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

When did I say I wasn't still addicted to the e-cig? I never once said I no longer have a nicotine addiction. As far as my H goes, enjoying the use of the e-cig, particularly with 0% nicotine, is not an addiction. You could equate that to someone who doesn't drink anymore, but still likes the occasional non-alcoholic beer. Or is it because I used the word hooked? I got hooked on watching Big Bang Theory - does that mean I'm now addicted?

I'm not confused and I'm not talking to myself. I haven't been trying to talk to the OPs point at all in my last several posts have been trying to clarify what I was saying, from MY personal experience.

Yes, I believe that the addiction to e-cigs is less harmful than real cigarettes. Which regardless of the caffeine example, is the bottom line.

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

LingerLonger1 said:

MrsMack10612 said:

When did I say I wasn't still addicted to the e-cig? I never once said I no longer have a nicotine addiction. As far as my H goes, enjoying the use of the e-cig, particularly with 0% nicotine, is not an addiction. You could equate that to someone who doesn't drink anymore, but still likes the occasional non-alcoholic beer. Or is it because I used the word hooked? I got hooked on watching Big Bang Theory - does that mean I'm now addicted?

I'm not confused and I'm not talking to myself. I haven't been trying to talk to the OPs point at all in my last several posts have been trying to clarify what I was saying, from MY personal experience.

Yes, I believe that the addiction to e-cigs is less harmful than real cigarettes. Which regardless of the caffeine example, is the bottom line.
Do you know the definition of the word "hooked"?

Here let me help.

hooked (hkt)
adj.
1. Bent or angled like a hook.

2. Having a hook.

3. Made by hooking yarn: a hooked rug.

4. Slang
a. Captivated by or devoted to a custom or thing: She's really hooked on gardening.

b. Addicted to a narcotic.

So part a of the definition doesn't count? It can only mean addicted to a narcotic?

kjlamb · July 2013

good for your husband! I wouldn't nag him about smoking or bug him when he messes up. ask him what you can do to make it easier.

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

I quit smoking a few years ago after a doctor visit. My primary physician asked me when I was going to quit smoking and I kinda sighed, and said I wanted to quit. So she prescribed Wellbutrin. I was able to quit but once I went off of it I would still occasionally smoke when I drank.

I'm back on Wellbutrin for anxiety and now I have no interest in cigarettes whether I'm surrounded by smoking friends or drunk. I'm not saying that if you took Wellbutrin you would magically be cured, but along with some hard work, I was able to quit.

TKzilla · July 2013

MrsMack10612 · July 2013

Actually, no. In the context I was using it in, I didn't mean addicted, which is why I later said that wasn't the right word to use based on the topic.

wittykitty14 · July 2013

I've never smoked, but I did struggle with an addiction for about 10 years. Most of those years were spent trying to stop, and slipping up once in a while, and so on. Some of those slips were easy to get past and brush off. Others flew me full circle back into the behavior, and the addiction was usually stronger than before. I haven't engaged in this behavior in over 2.5 years now, so it's finally at the point where I feel "over it".

What helped me most was distraction and encouragement. Keeping myself busy, keeping my hands busy. Being aware of my triggers was a big help too. I had an "emergency box" that I would go too if I had the urge to do something. It had a bunch of stuff, including a list of distractions (which are hard to think of in the moment), crayons and paper, play-doh, a stress ball, and a list of numbers to call if I needed support. It was really helpful in the early stages. I've also been in therapy for a while, which has helped me identify and cope with the emotional reasons behind why I want to do the behavior. It's helped tremendously.

What didn't help is when people would nag me, try to babysit me if I didn't request their help, or reprimand me if I had a relapse. It ended up making everything worse.

I realize that my addiction was very different than cigarettes, but hopefully some of this advice is helpful. I wish your husband the best of luck!

TKzilla · July 2013

easilyunamused · July 2013

@lingerlonger1, have you quit smoking cigarettes before? Regardless if you have or have not, who are you to judge how someone goes about doing so?
@Mrsmack10612 was sharing her EXPERIENCE on how she and her husband have been trying to end their addiction. E-cigs aren't the answer for everyone, either it taking a prescription pill, but many do it and RELY on them.

You are not allowed to say what can and can not work for each individual adult.

emeejeeayen · July 2013

My mom was born in 1948, and she started smoking when she was 13. She says it was just a different time when that was acceptable. Anyway, she smoked pretty heavily until she was 21. One day she just decided she would chain smoke until she felt sick, so she locked herself in a room and just smoked one after another until she wanted to vomit. Ever since then the thought of a cigarette makes her sick to her stomach.

^ I don't recommend this, but it clearly worked for my mom.

NWR: Quitting smoking

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