Kids at your wedding

la la 1 · October 2012

My fianc i are trying to have a family close friends at our wedding. How do you say "please no kids?" It's just that we get charged by the person.

la la 1 · October 2012

Thankyou!! That sounds good!

anikischer · November 2012

Im in the same situation, we are going to be wording it something like

"We respectfully ask, adults only" or something along those lines

[Deleted User] · November 2012

If it's cost concern, check with your reception location. Some charge a lesser cost for guests 12 & under, since kids won't eat as much or drink any alcohol.

webowl · March 2013

I'm reopening an old question......

I'm getting married next May, this is our 2nd marriage but our first wedding. We each went to the JP the first time around. This time we want to share the splendor of a wedding with family and close friends without children. What do you do when your child says he or she will not attend if no kids are invited?

I'm going to stand my ground and say "No Children Allowed"; just want some feedback of others that may be facing this or a similar situation.

jchollaway · March 2013

I think it's rude to "uninvite" someone's kids. And by "kids" ... do you mean 18 & under? 21 & under? 12 & under?

Children are a part of the family, too. I would be offended if someone invited me to an event like this and told me my kids can't come.

I suppose it's your day, and you can do what you want. But what we do affects others, and I for one would like to not offend my closest family and friends on my special day. But that's just me.

halo4 · May 2013

Really? They charge over $35 a child.....no offense but who wants romper room...I have 3 children, and there are 18 on both sides and my children are the only ones coming. Write Adults only on the invite, I have never been to a wedding that they invite kids. Sorry but this is a sore subject with me. So whoever wrote they would be offended, would you include additional money to cover your kids plates?

dalm0m · May 2013

webowl said:

I'm reopening an old question......

I'm getting married next May, this is our 2nd marriage but our first wedding. We each went to the JP the first time around. This time we want to share the splendor of a wedding with family and close friends without children. What do you do when your child says he or she will not attend if no kids are invited?

I'm going to stand my ground and say "No Children Allowed"; just want some feedback of others that may be facing this or a similar situation.

Are you seriously saying your own grandchildren are not invited?

If someone tells you thay are not coming unless you invite someone else & you really want to stand your ground, you smile politely & tell them you you will miss them.

halo4 · May 2013

Its so my second wedding, and we have 3 children who were all disappointed that kids are not invited. We are letting each of them invite 1 friend. Just a thought....

boobyswope · June 2013

Address adults only can help without offending guest IMO.

kennede · June 2013

To address a previous post....it is not rude and an insult not to invite someone's children to your wedding. Most close friends and family know well in advance what your wedding date is even prior to invites going out. They have plenty of time to make child care arrangements. Family weddings that include children can be quite lovely, but it does change the dynamic and the cost. My fiance and I are both over 40 and it is a second marriage for each of us. We wanted to try to keep the wedding a bit smaller and intimate. My fiance has two children (11 and 12) that are standing up with us. I have a ten year old nephew and he has a niece who is 6 who are coming. Other than those close family members, children are not invited meaning my adult cousins' children and our friends' children are not invited. We addressed the invitation to just the adults AND our wedding invitation stated "adult reception to immediately follow." Whether that follows ettiquiette or not, I don't think it is rude. I have received no complaints and 99 percent of our guests accepted our invitation. Many times you will find that your guests look forward to an adult night out without their children. I am comfortable with how we handled the situation including the wording on the invitation. No one knows your friends and family better than you. You can determine what works for you in your unique situation. We did what worked for ours.

boom-boom · July 2013

I don't believe a wedding is a place for kids. It is very costly to invite them, they don't eat the food and there are no "games", clowns or entertainment for them. Having said all that, I had NO CHOICE but to invite my future sister in laws two children. She told me "They have to attend" She even tried for months to get them to be part of the wedding prty, even though I told her countless times that we did not want a large wedding party. To make peace we are having the kids attend the wedding, but its really not what we want. Amazes me how some people think its all about them or "their kids

ChiGirl2013 · July 2013

If budget is your only concern, check with your venue. Ours charged us $12 for chicken fingers, mac n cheese, and a soda for the children. We had 6 children ages 8 and under and it was not "Romper Room" by any means. Parents know if their children can handle behaving at an event and they're smart enough to get a sitter if their child is known to be a demon on wheels.

Please also know that etiquette states that any infant being exclusively breast-fed is automatically included, even if you aren't inviting other children. You can't separate a baby from it's only source of food/survival.

seasidemelody · July 2013

If you do not want children attending, and it is a small and intimate event, you can politely make the request at the bottom of the invite. I think it is understandable to not want children, any event where children are kind of becomes "about children".

Having said that, I am getting married in August and have planned for an extra table at the reception and am hiring two sitters I know well. We will have quiet games, snacks, books, cameras and colouring available till 11. I have spoken with the families (five of them) and most will be heading home not much later than that. Since most people are travelling from out of town individually hiring sitters or leaving small kids behind was not entirely feasible.

WonderRed · August 2013

We struggled with this because I have a six and a half year old and it was not an option for him to not attend and be included. But, if he is the only kid there he will be a disaster to deal with and very needy. We really didn't want to invite kids but ultimately decided to invite my 8 year old great niece so that DS would have one other child to be with. Of all our guests with kids, she is the only one who is an only child so it was easier to pick her. My brother has 5 children and two of FI's siblings have 4 each. If we included all of them we would have more children than adults and that just is not an option. Plus, our venue charges $45 per child.

edited: Yeah scratch that. We're even going to send DS to his dad's house half way through cocktail hour, after he's had a bite to eat. Other than having him there for the ceremony, which he is in, and pictures, we're jsut going completely kid free. He'll be much happier playing with Legos in his sweat pants than sitting in a suit at a formal dinner for three hours. I actually feel like a huge weight is off now that we've made this decision and don't need to tiptoe around the issue of why one kid was invited and others excluded.

cncanderson2014 · August 2013

I'm going through the dilemma myself with whose kids are invited and whose aren't. The out of town families are bringing their kids, but those boys are all a nightmare. I'm seriously considering having a babysitter or two arranged at our house or Fiance's fathers house for them. But then, we are inviting the nephew and nieces (sweet kids), plus my three girls and their friends would look REALLY bad. Sometimes I think this whole wedding thing is just too much stress. I like the idea of having children, but Fiance's family side has kids I just think are brats and his family doesn't have much thought for disciplining the boys.

losttooth · August 2013

I was once told that a gift should cover the estimated cost of the dinner (s) at least.
on a personal note, I like kids at weddings. If you are from a distance away where do find someone to watch the kids. There was a time when if a room with kid food and accredited adults were provided I would have maybe gone along, but not in the world we are in today!
I can tell you we once drove 1500 miles to do this overnight but those were grandchildren. I tell you people now days are not comfortable leaving their kids unless they have a live in nanny. Sorry, but if it were no kids we would have to gracefully send regrets.

cmperry17 · August 2013

my fiance has lots of cousins with lots of children, it would cost and arm and a leg if they came, and its not like you can invite some, and not others. So the ONLY children will be his nephews and niece, and my great niece's (11,5), and great-nephews(10,5). we are not getting married in our home town,but after meals, the 2 younger will go back to the hotel with a babysitter (our cost).

We will hold to this as well. If someone says they can't come, then we will say "that is to bad, you will be missed"

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