Civil Ceremony

geesaman16 · July 2013

My fiancé and I are having a civil ceremony in less than 2 weeks and I am starting to feel a little nervous. I don't know what to expect at all; I've never been to one before. Could someone let me know what it generally entails?

QueerFemme · July 2013

geesaman16 said:

My fiancé and I are having a civil ceremony in less than 2 weeks and I am starting to feel a little nervous. I don't know what to expect at all; I've never been to one before. Could someone let me know what it generally entails?

I'm assuming you are having this at the courthouse/county recorder. If that's correct, it will be very quick and simple. You'll get your license (which is almost like going to the DMV, very anti-climactic). And then wait for one of the JOPs to be available. He/She will probably ask you a couple of questions ahead of time (do you want to exchange rings during the ceremony? etc.) then, they will have you stand, face each other, do the "repeat after me" type vows, and ta-da! you are married. The whole ceremony will probably last 5 minutes.

geesaman16 · July 2013

Thank you so much! We're having our church wedding next fall and I've been about 75 million of those so I know what to expect, but I had no idea what to expect for a JOP ceremony. I really appreciate it. I feel a lot better

PickleJuiceSlurper · July 2013

Seriously... again? another PPD? and for Mil. benefits? *Slaps self in forehead*

PickleJuiceSlurper · July 2013

Im curious, why are you having a JOP wedding then a fake re-do next year? Why is it SO hard to wait and plan and have a real wedding once? And i'm curious how a church is letting you have a fake wedding while you're already married.. hmm?

geesaman16 · July 2013

We're getting married because we love each other. The benefits are just that. A benefit. Without a marriage certificate, I don't have access to any of the resources the military offers while my soon to be husband is deployed next year. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the money though. As for our church and families, they are completely aware of the situation and have been nothing but supportive.

PickleJuiceSlurper · July 2013

Why do you need a PPD then? Why can't your family come to your JOP wedding? It is clearly all about benefits, why can't you get your OWN job while your FI is deployed?

QueerFemme · July 2013

geesaman16 said:

We're getting married because we love each other. The benefits are just that. A benefit. Without a marriage certificate, I don't have access to any of the resources the military offers while my soon to be husband is deployed next year. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the money though. As for our church and families, they are completely aware of the situation and have been nothing but supportive.

oh good fuggin grief. Your wedding is when you have your JOP. It DOES have to do with money, if you are getting married for the benefits. I am so sick of entitled people.

geesaman16 · July 2013

As a matter of fact, I have my own job. I work 40 hours a week in a professional setting. I appreciate your judgment though. And my family is coming to my JOP ceremony. And then next October, my daddy's going to walk me down the aisle in a big white wedding dress with or without the blessing of a complete stranger. I'm not going to waste any more time arguing about this. I hope you have a good day.

QueerFemme · July 2013

@knotporscha

@knotjackie

Please remove these unwarranted flags and remind the OP that inappropriate flagging is against the terms of service she agreed to when joining TheKnot.

thank you

manjermj · July 2013

geesaman16 said:

We're getting married because we love each other. The benefits are just that. A benefit. Without a marriage certificate, I don't have access to any of the resources the military offers while my soon to be husband is deployed next year. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the money though. As for our church and families, they are completely aware of the situation and have been nothing but supportive.

This is absolutely not true. My husband and I were "just dating" while he was deployed 7 months to Afghanistan last year and I had every single piece of information that the wives and parents did. I was on all email lists from the Commanding Officer, as well as, the Family Readiness Officer (FRO), and the wives group.

EDIT (for clarity): we were engaged after he returned and then married this past January - after living on opposite coasts (him in Cali and me in PA) for almost 5 years. I know for a fact that there is no reason to get married now and then have a fake wedding later than for the benefits.

KIR2DS4 · July 2013

You can also be listed as a beneficiary on his SGLI without being married (just in case anyone else is contemplating OP's decision). In this argument, it's usually just the BAH that people want to claim, which is pretty gross IMO.

kyrgyzstan · July 2013

In fact, the only thing you can't have as his fiancee that you can have as his wife is disposition of remains. You can even get first notification as a fiancee if that's what he wants.

BAH isn't worth it. Neither is Tricare. Divorce is hard and it sucks.

Also, I have my real SN back! I'm so happy.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2013

There are actually some units who only give info and allowance into the FRG if you are a spouse. There are very few, but they do exist.

However, unless your FI is in that 1%, you can be given information. Like everyone else said, the only thing you can't have is access to the Commissary, PX and such and disposition of his remains. Anything else is money: family separation pay and BAH w/dependent pay. So...

AllieBear725 · July 2013

Another military wife giving us a bad name. Thanks a lot, enjoy your fake re-do. Oh and enjoy your government benefits that I am waiting for, but would love to have.

Civil Ceremony

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