When to put down deposit for Ceremony / Reception Venue

d2va · July 2013

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

PrettyGirlLost said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

Maybe he doesn't have the money for the deposit yet. Let's not get all "Who the Bleep Did I Marry" yet :-P

ETA: OP, any updates? How did it go? Did you get your venue and date? I'm nervous for you now, lol!

The reasons for waiting is because hes not American, and he doesn't understand that these things need to be planned way ahead of time. Money isn't the issue as, money isn't an issue in our home, and also my parents are also paying.

Hes from Nicaragua, and apparently they do things differently there, so even though I have explained myself countless times, Im not sure what else I can say that I wont sound like a broken record / sound overly pushy? Also, hes a manager in a car dealer so he uses the "you need to put the deposit down asap in order for us to hold the car" so I think he also may think that the venue can still "sell" our date? lol Ive explained to him that its a contract.

I also spoke with the vendor and he assured my that the date is still available and suggests that I come in as soon as I can.

Today is my Birthday (YAY!) so I will bring this up AGAIN tonight.

Le sigh

d2va · July 2013

Also, no church as the venue has two rooms that I will be using. I technically need to reserve 2 rooms!

QueerFemme · July 2013

d2va said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

PrettyGirlLost said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?
Maybe he doesn't have the money for the deposit yet. Let's not get all "Who the Bleep Did I Marry" yet :-P

ETA: OP, any updates? How did it go? Did you get your venue and date? I'm nervous for you now, lol!

The reasons for waiting is because hes not American, and he doesn't understand that these things need to be planned way ahead of time. Money isn't the issue as, money isn't an issue in our home, and also my parents are also paying.

Hes from Nicaragua, and apparently they do things differently there, so even though I have explained myself countless times, Im not sure what else I can say that I wont sound like a broken record / sound overly pushy? Also, hes a manager in a car dealer so he uses the "you need to put the deposit down asap in order for us to hold the car" so I think he also may think that the venue can still "sell" our date? lol Ive explained to him that its a contract.

I also spoke with the vendor and he assured my that the date is still available and suggests that I come in as soon as I can.

Today is my Birthday (YAY!) so I will bring this up AGAIN tonight.

Le sigh

if your parents are paying, and you and your FI are set on the date and venue 100%, why can't you just pay the deposit?

swimmy1988 · July 2013

My wedding was June 22 2013. I contacted my venue to book the wedding May 1st 2012 (a month after getting engaged.

NYCBruin · July 2013

QueerFemme said:

d2va said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

PrettyGirlLost said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?
Maybe he doesn't have the money for the deposit yet. Let's not get all "Who the Bleep Did I Marry" yet :-P

ETA: OP, any updates? How did it go? Did you get your venue and date? I'm nervous for you now, lol!

The reasons for waiting is because hes not American, and he doesn't understand that these things need to be planned way ahead of time. Money isn't the issue as, money isn't an issue in our home, and also my parents are also paying.

Hes from Nicaragua, and apparently they do things differently there, so even though I have explained myself countless times, Im not sure what else I can say that I wont sound like a broken record / sound overly pushy? Also, hes a manager in a car dealer so he uses the "you need to put the deposit down asap in order for us to hold the car" so I think he also may think that the venue can still "sell" our date? lol Ive explained to him that its a contract.

I also spoke with the vendor and he assured my that the date is still available and suggests that I come in as soon as I can.

Today is my Birthday (YAY!) so I will bring this up AGAIN tonight.

Le sigh

if your parents are paying, and you and your FI are set on the date and venue 100%, why can't you just pay the deposit?

I'm wondering this same thing. I don't really get your FI's reasons. If you don't put down a deposit you don't have a date. Someone else will book the venue and then you won't have a date.

manateehugger · July 2013

Yeah, is there a reason you don't just pay it? As long as he's ok with the date and with the venue, I'd be tempted to just pay it.

We signed our reception venue contract about 15 months out. I'm very glad I've been putting deposits down as early as we have been.

d2va · July 2013

NYCBruin said:

QueerFemme said:

d2va said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?

PrettyGirlLost said:

scribe95 said:

So am I the only one concerned that the FI doesn't want to put any money down on his wedding? Is he hedging or what? What are his reasons for waiting?
Maybe he doesn't have the money for the deposit yet. Let's not get all "Who the Bleep Did I Marry" yet :-P

ETA: OP, any updates? How did it go? Did you get your venue and date? I'm nervous for you now, lol!

The reasons for waiting is because hes not American, and he doesn't understand that these things need to be planned way ahead of time. Money isn't the issue as, money isn't an issue in our home, and also my parents are also paying.

Hes from Nicaragua, and apparently they do things differently there, so even though I have explained myself countless times, Im not sure what else I can say that I wont sound like a broken record / sound overly pushy? Also, hes a manager in a car dealer so he uses the "you need to put the deposit down asap in order for us to hold the car" so I think he also may think that the venue can still "sell" our date? lol Ive explained to him that its a contract.

I also spoke with the vendor and he assured my that the date is still available and suggests that I come in as soon as I can.

Today is my Birthday (YAY!) so I will bring this up AGAIN tonight.

Le sigh

if your parents are paying, and you and your FI are set on the date and venue 100%, why can't you just pay the deposit?

I'm wondering this same thing. I don't really get your FI's reasons. If you don't put down a deposit you don't have a date. Someone else will book the venue and then you won't have a date.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Its just one of those things where I dont really understand how he doesn't understand either! I am with all you ladies on booking asap... he really just doesnt get it!

d2va · July 2013

PDKH said:
Yeah, is there a reason you don't just pay it? As long as he's ok with the date and with the venue, I'd be tempted to just pay it.

We signed our reception venue contract about 15 months out. I'm very glad I've been putting deposits down as early as we have been.

I have been tempted to just go there and do it but I know he wants to be involved so I dont want to hide it from him.

Im thinking im just going to do it like this though. I want to start booking and getting everything in order.

One conversation we had was me asking " do you even want to marry me? !" But he laughed and said that he does but that he doesn't get why everything has to be done a year in advance.

Ive also reminded him that were not even paying!

I will update you ladies... im going to get this done this week no matter what!

NYCBruin · July 2013

I would ask him when he thinks is an appropriate time to start putting deposits down.

Let's say he says six months in advance.

Then pick a date six months out and show him how everything is already booked. Then explain if you wait until six month out, then you won't get all/any of the vendors you want.

d2va · July 2013

scribe95 said:

You don't have to hide it from him. Just say, hey honey my parents gave me a check and I'm gonig to put the deposit down Monday. I'd love for you to come along.

He would like to come along, right now hes working 17 days straight because the other manager is on vacation... so he doesnt even have a day right now.

Harry87 said:

Why not just say "We do things differently here. It has to be booked now or we're going to lose it. I'm going to go turn in the check on this day, want to come?"

Though really, he saw the place and picked the date and agreed it was the place to go; would he really be upset if he didn't drive with you to put the money in their hands and walk out?

I told him we do things differently here, and thats how I got him to agree that we will book earlier than he thought we would.

Im going to take your advice, and take the check and tell him Im going to put it down and thats it.

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

d2va said:

scribe95 said:

You don't have to hide it from him. Just say, hey honey my parents gave me a check and I'm gonig to put the deposit down Monday. I'd love for you to come along.

He would like to come along, right now hes working 17 days straight because the other manager is on vacation... so he doesnt even have a day right now.

Harry87 said:

Why not just say "We do things differently here. It has to be booked now or we're going to lose it. I'm going to go turn in the check on this day, want to come?"

Though really, he saw the place and picked the date and agreed it was the place to go; would he really be upset if he didn't drive with you to put the money in their hands and walk out?

I told him we do things differently here, and thats how I got him to agree that we will book earlier than he thought we would.

Im going to take your advice, and take the check and tell him Im going to put it down and thats it.

Good work! I would maybe just have one final convo with him along the lines of:

1. You want to marry me, right?
A. If no.... halt planning, get thee to counseling
B. If yes, proceed to number 2
2. You want to get married at this location and this date, right?
A. If no, "Why? Let's talk it out"
B. If yes: "AWESOME - I'm dropping off the deposit tomorrow. Smooches!"

d2va · July 2013

LavenderHoneyBee said:

d2va said:

scribe95 said:

You don't have to hide it from him. Just say, hey honey my parents gave me a check and I'm gonig to put the deposit down Monday. I'd love for you to come along.

He would like to come along, right now hes working 17 days straight because the other manager is on vacation... so he doesnt even have a day right now.

Harry87 said:

Why not just say "We do things differently here. It has to be booked now or we're going to lose it. I'm going to go turn in the check on this day, want to come?"

Though really, he saw the place and picked the date and agreed it was the place to go; would he really be upset if he didn't drive with you to put the money in their hands and walk out?

I told him we do things differently here, and thats how I got him to agree that we will book earlier than he thought we would.

Im going to take your advice, and take the check and tell him Im going to put it down and thats it.

Good work! I would maybe just have one final convo with him along the lines of:

1. You want to marry me, right?
A. If no.... halt planning, get thee to counseling
B. If yes, proceed to number 2
2. You want to get married at this location and this date, right?
A. If no, "Why? Let's talk it out"
B. If yes: "AWESOME - I'm dropping off the deposit tomorrow. Smooches!"

LOL

I already was like "You wanna get married mofo?!!?"

d2va · August 2013

UPDATE:

The deposit has been paid, and we have an official date!

He now understands and were on the same page!

Thanks ladies!

When to put down deposit for Ceremony / Reception Venue

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