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my mother has bad etiquette......

GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
edited July 2013 in Chit Chat
So my mother has had 2 big weddings in the past and has had very bad etiquette. No thank you notes. No Oot guest bags. No bridal party gifts or parent gifts. No seating charts. Who know what else she didnt do. Anyways since our family have been to her weddings, I'm nervous they will not show up to my wedding because of her not being a good host. What do you think? Am I being too neurotic?
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Re: my mother has bad etiquette......

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'd say you're being neurotic. I would hope that your family knows that you are not your mom.
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  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    GypsyBridetobe said:
    So my mother has had 2 big weddings in the past and has had very bad etiquette. No thank you notes. No Oot guest bags. No bridal party gifts or parent gifts. No seating charts. Who know what else she didnt do. Anyways since our family have been to her weddings, I'm nervous they will not show up to my wedding because of her not being a good host. What do you think? Am I being too neurotic?
    Well, the no OOT guest bags and no seating charts are NOT against etiquette.  How long ago did she not send TY cards or give bridal gifts (I don't think not giving a parent gift is against etiquette either-but don't quote me)?
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Well not against etiquette. But its not being a good host. Her second wedding was in 93 her third wedding was in 2004.
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Im learning all the right things to do from Forums blogs and articles.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    As long as everyone has a chair, it's okay to not have a seating chart, and it doesn't make you a bad host. And I've never gotten an OOT guest bag when I've attended OOT weddings, for what it's worth.

    ETA: And everyone should have a chair regardless of whether or not you have a seating chart.
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Not enough chairs. Not enough cake. I always make OOt baskets for guests in my own home. I can't imagine not doing it for a wedding guests.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Have enough food and enough chairs and you'll be okay. Remember to keep your guests' comfort first and foremost.
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    What can fmil do to help curb my fears?
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Oh no. She's not of american culture. They do things too differently to be helpful with an american wedding. Roma have different etiquette.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I doubt your family members will not go to your wedding because of your mother's bad etiquette After all it sounds like they went to her second wedding after the breaches of etiquette at her first.

    Besides, even if they aren't going to come because of that there isn't anything you can do about it so it's really not worth worrying over. The people who care about you will come no matter how horrible your mother's weddings were.


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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thanks for the reassurance. Im thank full I have a while before.my wedding so I can make sure my wedding is a pleasurable experience for all my guests. .
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I hope your family doesn't hold what your mother did against you. Family can be awful like that.I like pp's suggestion to reach out to them.
    image
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    People aren't going to take it out on you, and if they do, they're assholes. Her weddings were a while ago, so if they're still holding it against you all... seriously, they need to get over it. 
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  • semi891semi891 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I wouldn't worry about your mother's weddings and just focus on doing things right for your own.  Has anyone said anything in the past? Just don't take any of your mother's etiquette advice.
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  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Well at least you know what NOT to do. I think you will be fine.
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  • kryan32kryan32 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    @GypsyBridetobe - I always have the fear that people are judging me based on my mom's behavior, so I can totally understand where you're coming from...

    Hopefully it won't be an issue for you - at least you have plenty of time to reach out to family before your wedding!

     

     

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  • winelover123winelover123 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
    I don't think anyone will not go to your wedding because of your mom's poor etiquette. I like the idea of reaching out to family before your wedding, though, if you are concerned.
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    GypsyBridetobe said:
    So my mother has had 2 big weddings in the past and has had very bad etiquette. No thank you notes. No Oot guest bags. No bridal party gifts or parent gifts. No seating charts. Who know what else she didnt do. Anyways since our family have been to her weddings, I'm nervous they will not show up to my wedding because of her not being a good host. What do you think? Am I being too neurotic?
    Yes. Too neurotic.

    The only thing you should worry about is thank you notes....and preferably, have a seating chart, but it's not against ettiqute to avoid it. OOT bags and gifts are not necessary. A heartfelt note to those people is sufficient. If you buy gifts, shop like it's their birthday.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Good advice about the gifts. I didn't think of it like that before. I'm going to try to think of everything I can to try to impress guests and wp with my hospitality.
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