Wedding Etiquette Forum

Save the date HELP!

Bratface91Bratface91 member
Second Anniversary First Comment
edited August 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey brides! So, my fiancé and I just scheduled our engagement pics for October and we will be taking the pictures for our save the dates then too. I have 2 questions...when are you supposed to send them out? I have heard 4 months before and I've also been told as far as one year prior! We are not having a destination wedding and have few guests from out of state invited. Also...if we have "fall" pictures for our save the dates, will it be odd to send them in let's say, February? (Our wedding is October 2014 by the way) ...and my second problem is that My fiancé and I are very silly, fun, outgoing people. As much as our wedding is special to us and the ceremony will be romantic and elegant..we're planning on fun, upbeat, party atmosphere reception. I fell in love with some really funny save the date ideas that I know the majority of our guests will get a kick out of. I'm concerned though because Im not sure that EVERYONE on our guest list will appreciate our humor. So, is it ok to order 2 different styles? One more modest for the guests who won't appreciate our humor..and one that we love for the rest of our party people list? Thanks brides!

Re: Save the date HELP!

  • I don't think having a save the date that says "Free Booze" is a good idea to send to anyone....
  • I sent mine in March for my October wedding. People say between 6-12 months. If there is travel involved, I'd go closer to 12. So by the time you get your engagement pics back, decide and print, you'll be in the time frame. 

    I've never heard of doing two, but I think it would be fine as long as other people won't notice the difference. Like your BBF won't see it on religious aunts fridge. It seems like a headache to do two, so I would just go with one. 

  • I think 4-6 months
    Fall will look fine.
    I would treat every guest the same, right down to STDs. You can still do silly just not that silly. Do funny poses, do a funny quote ("I'm marrying him before he has a chance to run away"), do a more upbeat/less formal design. But send the same ones to everyone.
  • I think it's best to just have one type of save the dates. As for timing you should send them about 6 months before. You don't want to send them too early or too late.
  • Teddy917 said:
    I think 4-6 months Fall will look fine. I would treat every guest the same, right down to STDs. You can still do silly just not that silly. Do funny poses, do a funny quote ("I'm marrying him before he has a chance to run away"), do a more upbeat/less formal design. But send the same ones to everyone.
    Sorry, but I'm young, fun and love a good time, but even I think quotes like that are really tasteless. 

    GlassButtongrumbledoreMiss Esa
  • We did ours about 8 months in advance - but well over half the guest list was OOT.

    I agree that doing just one STD would be easier for you. I get wanting it to be humorous, but you don't want anyone to get offended. Maybe come up with a couple cute jokes to throw in, but without getting into "free booze" territory.
    image
    TeddiD34
  • I should clarify..I'm not actually planning on saying free booze. That was a dramatic example. I changed the post though because the way it read, it sounded like that was exactly my plan. Thanks for your input though. I appreciate it.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Since you aren't doing a destination wedding I would say that 4-6 months would be fine.

    As to ordering to separate styles, that's your choice. You can if you want. But I feel I should warn you to only send STDs to people who will be invited no matter what. Everyone who gets an STD must get an invitation. So if you end up needing to scale back and cut the guest list or have a falling out with someone having sent everyone an STD can cause some stress and drama.


  • Bratface91 I'm also a Oct '14 bride. Many of our guests (most of which are family) will have to travel from West Coast to East Coast.  Because of this we are sending our save the dates out as early as possible. By 'as early as possible' I mean as soon as we are able to block out a set of hotel rooms for guests, have a wedding website up and running, and we review the guest list one more time. I'm thinking that this will happen somewhere around the 10-11 month mark. 

    I agree with PP that by the time you have the photos back from your photographer and your save the dates ordered you will fall right within the average time frame. 

    As for two STD, I would stick to one. Why add more stress if you don't need to. Plus it would really suck if you accidentally sent one of the more inappropriate ones to your more reserved guests. 
  • Normally STD's go out between 6-12 months before the wedding. I think that sending in February will be fine, and the fact that the pictures will be autumnal will work into the October date.

    I'd stick with one STD because it would be a lot of work. I saw a STD once that ready "Save the Date, Bitches!"- I didn't like it and thought it was really rude. If you want to be fun, do a fun pose, like a piggy-back ride, jumping in the leaves, etc.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
  • i think it makes sense to do them around 6 months since it doesn't sound like many are traveling. it also makes sense to just do one version, whatever best represents you and your fi. so if that's fun and silly, then so be it. it'll set the tone for the celebration to come. they don't have to appreciate your humor, they just have be happy for you. 
  • My wedding is in Jan but we took our enagagement pics in may and sent thrm out in july. I dont think the change of season is a big deal.

    In my opinion if you do silly std's then your wedding should be on the "silly" side as well. If your wedding is going to be more elegent, i wohld recommend a more elegant std.
  • Thanks everyone! One save the date it is and we were able to get a few great ideas from our photographer for fun but classy save the dates! :) congratulations to all of you other brides and thanks for your input and advice :)
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